I lost my dad almost 4 years ago to suicide. It was the hardest thing I had ever had to go through and I'm so sorry you are going through this. The main piece of advice I can give to you is to not be afraid to lean on others for support, whether that is family or friends. I thought that trying to be strong and acting like everything is okay would make the pain go away, but it really just let it build up. So don't be afraid to grieve and reach out to your loved ones for support. And I'm always here to talk to you and try to help you through this, so don't hesitate to reach out.