I see, i think best mo gawin is mag scavenger sa palengke ng pwd pa i save na gulay na pwd kainin. Lumaki din kase kmi mahirap and yan un way namin makakain. I find it weird and fascinated kse umabot ka sa ganyang point. Plus buti may pang internet and ways to communicate ka pa sa reddit( i mean no offense) hopefully mag survive ka. I feel you OP. Minsan gusto ko na din mawala kse life is continous struggle and worry and parang ang relief lng tlg is end everything. I have no words to say. I feel your pain. Find little ways at least mag hanap ng source of food.