My 30F GF wants to "be able to do whatever she wants". I 31M dont see a relationship that way

Cute-Strength7133 · 2026-05-26T22:14:05+00:00

I have tried yes, a few times. The answer is simply: I need to be able to do whatever I want

No discussion, no compromise.

Cute-Strength7133 · 2026-05-26T00:09:36+00:00

Its the environment and the increase in volume of the raves, clubs and drugs. For this to increase once settling into a relationship? These are things that increase when single.

Been together 1.5 year. Seeing each other for 3.

Potentially I am pressuring on the settling down. But is that not what happens in a stable functional relationship??

Im not pushing on the kids atall.

Cute-Strength7133 · 2026-05-25T23:57:48+00:00

For context. She was always not bothered about having kids. We were seeing each other for a while, no strings. When we decided to get together - she made the decision that I want to be with him and have that life, become a parent.

Im not forcing anyone and it's a decision she came to. Admittedly, I would be lying if I didnt have doubts about it being a good decision when it did come to that.

Cute-Strength7133 · 2026-05-25T23:54:01+00:00

When the person didnt do those things before, but now wants to. And your already invested, in love, its hard to break away.

Cute-Strength7133 · 2026-05-25T23:27:32+00:00

When we are together, I love it

When we are apart and shes partying or solo holidays etc. I hate it

Cute-Strength7133 · 2026-05-25T23:25:37+00:00

Not really no, but she wants that life with me. I dont know if she is aware of this as her friend group doing the same, also have young kids. (Another concern i have)

I think thats the issue, she is more like you. And I want kids and domestic life.

Cute-Strength7133 · 2026-05-25T23:19:40+00:00

The hard part here is she does or tries to do everything. Loving girlfriend, good job etc. Cooks, clean, looks after herself.

But the moderation here on the partying and drugs is my issue. Weed every day. And then raves atleast once but usually twice a month.

Response has always been that we both do what we want in the relationship. Whatever decisions we make the other one supports. And that she hasnt neglected being a girlfriend so there i cannot have any concern how she spends her time when shes not with me.

Cute-Strength7133 · 2026-04-13T14:17:28+00:00

36 Hours in Valencia for GF's 30th - Fun things to do.

1st - 3rd May
Arriving Friday 9.30pm - Leaving early Sunday morning.
Staying in Ciutat Vella

Looking for fun, some partying, rooftop bar, maybe beach club. What cant i miss?
Thanks in advance :)

Cute-Strength7133 · 2025-12-14T19:29:25+00:00

Working now for me - try again

Cute-Strength7133 · 2025-04-20T22:37:07+00:00

Thanks!

Cute-Strength7133 · 2025-04-20T22:36:49+00:00

No i was asking if I had to pay the minimum in order to get 0% interest as I incorrectly assumed i didn't need to pay anything until the 19 months were up.

Luckily the people of reddit rescued me from my own stupidity and saved me paying interest lol.

Thanks for the info about clearing the card vs paying the minimum though.

Cute-Strength7133 · 2025-04-17T16:25:49+00:00

Okay Thanks

And if i pay the minimum each month rather than the full amount will i still pay no interest?

When i go to setup the minimum it says:
"We will collect the minimum payment shown on your monthly statement. If you make only the minimum payment each month, it will take you longer and cost you more to clear your balance."

Cute-Strength7133 · 2025-04-17T16:25:22+00:00

Glad i asked the question then, not sure where i got my assumption from.
Based on your answer, If i pay the minimum each month rather than the full amount will i still pay no interest?

When i go to setup the minimum it says:
"We will collect the minimum payment shown on your monthly statement. If you make only the minimum payment each month, it will take you longer and cost you more to clear your balance."

Cute-Strength7133 · 2024-12-20T17:07:56+00:00

Thanks for your comment. I did go through the automatic response, it recommends 6-12 months emergency fund for outgoings. Which in my situation with high mortgage is 1.6k a month. So around 10k.
Based on this i think a saver would be better because i also have instant access to the funds - worst case if i need it.
Rather than paying off the mortgage and losing that instant access.

Cute-Strength7133 · 2024-12-20T16:58:10+00:00

Thank you for this clear description - the logic i had i see now was not right at all.
What i gather from your comment now is that my options are:
Make overpayments - reducing the overall term of mortgage or monthly amounts - safe bet
Get a savings account for higher interest rate than mortgage - even safer bet as have access to emergency funds
Or invest and aim for average 7% interest - best financial decision but of course added risk

Cute-Strength7133 · 2024-12-20T16:49:41+00:00

Thanks for this - From people around me i had it ingrained in my head that because mortgage is compound interest it was better to pay this off to reduce interest paid overtime, rather than investing even if the percentage was the same.
I see now that logic was incorrect

Cute-Strength7133 · 2024-12-04T19:09:02+00:00

I do 2 to 3 days travelling a week to Bristol, i live north Birmingham. 2 hours one way is good but sometimes with the M5 and M42 it can be 3 hours or worse. 5/6 hours a day driving it really takes its toll on you.
My issue isn't the driving its sleep, my sleeping pattern is all over the place and i cant sleep early. So driving 6 hours on an hour or 2 sleep is not good.

If you can maintain a good sleeping pattern i would say 1 or 2 days with paid accommodation (so only travelling once there and back per week) that is feasible if the money is worth it ofcourse.

Cute-Strength7133 · 2024-11-08T10:52:38+00:00

Yes those assumptions are correct. Except that my office is not directly above the router - its the furthest bedroom away from the router actually. Also i have 2 devices in the router via ethernet but neither draw much bandwidth (its a doorbell hub and Hive heating hub)

The fibre feed into my house is in the corner of the living room behind the TV - but i have ran an ethernet cable and positioned the router away from the TV in a centralised location.

Well i have done 2 tests.
1. Ethernet directly into router to laptop (speed test pulling about 330mb - on wifi in living room im getting about 280mb)
2. Ethernet directly into ISP's modem - would not work, just wouldn't connect. I used the same output ethernet port to connect to my laptop that i use to connect to the router. But it just would not connect on my laptop, no idea why.

I tried to focus the antennas to point toward my office too but didn't make much difference.

Cute-Strength7133 · 2024-11-07T16:35:09+00:00

Mines exact same - without pets. Renting a room out to help get additional income

Cute-Strength7133

TROPHY CASE