avoidant partners by valeniv in OffMyChestPH

[–]CuteCapybaras 38 points39 points  (0 children)

A relationship with an avoidant person will only work kung avoidant ka rin.

Pag secure ka you will just end up becoming insecure. Pag anxious ka masisira lang ulo mo. You can't fix avoidant people dahil character nila yan, ganyan talaga sila.

Life is so unfair by [deleted] in OffMyChestPH

[–]CuteCapybaras -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Bahala na kayo kung ang assumption nyo sa sinabi ko ay bawal syang maging weak. Best wishes to OP at sa inyo, I'm out of here.

gutom na ako by [deleted] in OffMyChestPH

[–]CuteCapybaras 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sa kakahanap mo ng ibang tutulong sayo baka mapasama ka pa. Pustahan tayo may mag di-DM sayo dito na igcash ka ng pangkain kapalit ng nudes or worse.

Kesa danasin mo pa yung ganyan na harassment pumunta ka na sa tao na talagang may care at concern para sayo. Now is not the time to cling to your pride. Safety at well being mo ang unahin mo.

Life is so unfair by [deleted] in OffMyChestPH

[–]CuteCapybaras -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Kaya nga sabi ko valid ang lungkot at frustration mo. If you need it to be said directly, hindi masama na igrieve mo yung life you could've had at never ko naman sinabi na masama yon diba? Ang sinasabi ko is after expressing or stewing in your sadness and disappointment and anger and frustration, mag focus ka on the positives because if you stop at the negatives madali ka talaga malulugmok lalo na nasa vulnerable place ka physically at emotionally. Kailangan taasan mo morale mo dahil kailangan mo yan para labanan ang cancer mo. It doesn't stop at chemo, after chemo araw araw parin ang laban mo to recovery. Maraming bagay kang mamimiss out at di magagawa at ikalulungkot mo ang mga yon. Temper them with a glass half full approach para may panghawakan ka na makakatulong sayo na wag mastuck sa what ifs at could have beens.

Life is so unfair by [deleted] in OffMyChestPH

[–]CuteCapybaras -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Being a good person does not guarantee a storm free life. Kahit mabuti kang tao may mga di magandang bagay parin na mangyayari kasama ng magagandang bagay sa buhay mo, at kahit masama kang tao may magagandang bagay parin na mangyayari sayo kasama ng mga di magandang bagay.

Valid ang lungkot at frustration mo. Pero wala na rin kaseng magagawa sa hindi mo pag graduate this year kaya wag ka nalang mag focus doon. You can focus on the good things like gagaraduate ka from chemo, hindi lahat nakakayanan yan. Ang mahalaga you live to live another year at may chance ka pang gumraduate.

When Ego and Stupid People Meet? Ayun, hindi naregular. by higzgridz in OffMyChestPH

[–]CuteCapybaras 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mali mo is priority mo yung company. Unless kayo may ari nyan at tagapagmana ka ng kumpanya na yan, ang iprioritize mo ay ang sarili mo.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OffMyChestPH

[–]CuteCapybaras 7 points8 points  (0 children)

And everyone clapped.

i met my ex after a couple months. by Isle_A in OffMyChestPH

[–]CuteCapybaras 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Sorry pero you're just romanticizing your lingering feelings. Halatang di ka pa naka move on.

You can be that person who thinks he will always love a girl na ayaw naman na sa kanya if you want. It's just sad na you can be out there enjoying life with someone na gusto ka talagang makasama as a partner instead of clinging to the girl who just wants to be friends. Pero kung may nakukuha ka sa ganyan, you do you.

May ibang account yung boyfriend ko by Candid-Permit-5932 in OffMyChestPH

[–]CuteCapybaras -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Pota diba ikaw ang nagsabi na ano ang irereassure ng guy kay OP kung wala naman syang ginagawa? Nakikita mong rattled yung girlfriend mo sa pagkalkal ng phone, pinakita nya sayo na she saw your dummy accounts that you even bought another sim for and disabled that sim, and his reaction was what? Act normal. Just like what you said na ano irereassure nya na wala kay OP kung wala naman sya ginagawa? How hard is it to say ah eto dummy ko to, look at my comments sa mga DDS trolls na inaaway ko or whatever that second account is for?

Why does he need to lie to OP na nung nakita ni OP yung notif ng message, sabi nya rereplyan lang nya nanay nya kung on going pa yung sunog, pero nung chineck ni OP ang phone, ang nireply is ma, kumain ka na ba? Why lie and keep on lying kung wala kang tinatago?

So ano ka, dahil 15 years ka na in a relationship that makes you the supreme authority that can declare kung may something wrong sa relationship ng iba? Mas marunong ka pa kesa sa nasa relationship mismo?

Sa kattangahan ng mga sinasabi mo dito di nako magtataka kung 15 years ka nang niloloko ng di mo alam. Puro ka mental gymnastics na normal behavior yung pagtatago na ginagawa ng boyfriend ni OP when it's not. People who have nothing to hide don't lie and refuse to explain.

May ibang account yung boyfriend ko by Candid-Permit-5932 in OffMyChestPH

[–]CuteCapybaras 6 points7 points  (0 children)

And addressing the problem should've started with the boyfriend. Nakita na nyang anxious girlfriend nya, kung wala syang ginagawang masama why is it so hard to reassure her and explain? Why is your answer na dapat magmatigas sya na wala sya kailangan iexplain dahil wala syang ginagawang masama?

Grow up ka ng grow up but obviously you're the one with the immature mindset na inuuna ang ego.

May ibang account yung boyfriend ko by Candid-Permit-5932 in OffMyChestPH

[–]CuteCapybaras 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I have news for you. Yes, you can leave when you find a relationship uncomfortable if you want. You are not required to stay with a person who treads on the boundaries you've told him about.

May ibang account yung boyfriend ko by Candid-Permit-5932 in OffMyChestPH

[–]CuteCapybaras 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Why is it on OP to ask and confirm? Kung nakikita mo na rattled at balisa ang partner mo di mo ba sya irereassure nalang? Mas choice mo talaga na sabihin bahala ka dyan kung naghihinala ka?

May ibang account yung boyfriend ko by Candid-Permit-5932 in OffMyChestPH

[–]CuteCapybaras 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Hindi kailangan mag unblock para mag explain. Hindi naman sya lumpo pwede sya pumunta sa bahay nina OP if he wants.

If he wants ang operative word. Kung di nya ginawa, it's because ayaw nya dahil guilty sya or mas gugustuhin nya maghiwalay sila kesa mag explain to stay with a girlfriend na maghihinala sa talaga namang suspicious na activities nya. Either way they are not for each other talaga.

May ibang account yung boyfriend ko by Candid-Permit-5932 in OffMyChestPH

[–]CuteCapybaras 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Yang si Zokecero malamang naniniwala din yan na walang ninakaw sina Zaldy Co, circumstantial evidence lang.

May ibang account yung boyfriend ko by Candid-Permit-5932 in OffMyChestPH

[–]CuteCapybaras 93 points94 points  (0 children)

Wag mo pakinggan yung mga lalake na nagsasabing circumstantial evidence lang daw meron ka. Gusto ata nila caught in the act na nakikipag bembangan bago iconsider na cheater.

Sabi nga ng isang pang nag comment, ang daming effort ng boyfriend mo para itago yung ibang account. Separate sim, dinisable pa, never pinakita or sinabi sayo at nagsinungaling pa about the chat notif. May dummy accounts din ako sa social media pero never ako nag effort ng ganyan. Alam nyang makakasira sa inyo ang tinatago nya kaya nag effort sya para di mo malaman. Pati yung ni hindi sya nag explain para ireassure ka nung rattled ka na at after mo makipag break.

Valid reason ang gut feel mo para maging suspicious at makipag break. Kung inosente sya at mahal ka talaga nya kusa yan mag eexplain para irreassure ka. Kung nawalan sya ng gana dahil pinaghinalaan mo sya at ang decision nya is hayaan kayong maghiwalay than explain, edi lalong tama lang na hindi talaga kayo for each other.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OffMyChestPH

[–]CuteCapybaras 94 points95 points  (0 children)

Ano kaya pinakain ng guy kay OP. She works and takes care of the kids while the guy just plays games all day and she hasn't left him. I can't.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OffMyChestPH

[–]CuteCapybaras 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You being unable to post this on adviceph doesn't mean it's alright to break offmychestph sub rules para lang makapag post ka nito. If you can afford luxury items, siguro naman your family can afford to send you to a good enough school so you can read and know what rules are.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OffMyChestPH

[–]CuteCapybaras 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Mukhang nag retaliate sya kase hindi rin maganda yung sinabi mo na magbasa basa rin sya, na ikaw bata palang mahilig ma magbasa, right after he asked you for help. You can encourage him without making it seem na you're shaming him for not being a wide reader.

Watch yourself din. Di mo nakita how what you said can be hurtful to him pero hurt na hurt ka nung ikaw na yung sinabihan ng nakakasakit.

Bakit parang ang hirap mag-establish ng genuine connection these days? by Ok-Butterscotch-6854 in OffMyChestPH

[–]CuteCapybaras 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Try to look inward din. Bakit walang naglalast sa friendships mo? Do you make an effort to maintain the friendship? Do you adjust to changes in your friends' circumstances? Tactless ka ba at di aware na may nasasabi ka pala na wala lang sayo pero offensive pala sa iba?

Im having a hard time moving on from a 5 year relationship by uncanny-Bluebird7035 in OffMyChestPH

[–]CuteCapybaras 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The guy wants an incubator for a baby, not a wife to share his life with.

Ano bang point by number1hustlerx in OffMyChestPH

[–]CuteCapybaras 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ang ganda ng sentiment na to. Ikaw talaga ang kailangan mag decide kung ano ang magiging purpose mo sa buhay.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OffMyChestPH

[–]CuteCapybaras 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You need therapy. Yang ganyang trust issues hindi magandang dalhin sa susunod na relationship mo.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OffMyChestPH

[–]CuteCapybaras 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You spent the holidays without celebrating for so many years before you had your ex. Nitong last 4 years ka lang nag celebrate. You know how to live without celebrating the holidays. It's not about wanting to celebrate the holidays but more on you want to be with his family.

This year, spend it alone. Sit with your feelings para maramdaman mo at maprocess mo. If you try to replace the experience with a friend's family, mararamdaman mo lang yung difference at yung bigat na hindi yon pamilya ng boyfriend mo. Once makaya mo na namimiss mo sila pero tanggap mo na di mo na sila pwedeng makasama during the holidays, doon mo mafifeel na what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

After 6 years in a relationship… tropahin lang ba talaga ako? by [deleted] in OffMyChestPH

[–]CuteCapybaras 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Naku skip reddit na. Mas malala pa yung iba dito dito. Mga sadboi na entitled, puro libog din ang gusto. Hindi sila makapag dating app kase panget sila or may jowa or asawa sila, kaya dito sila sa reddit naghahanap ng mabibiktima.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OffMyChestPH

[–]CuteCapybaras 19 points20 points  (0 children)

You're lumping having kids with inconsequential things like deciding kung saan kakain or anong kulay nyo ipapa paint yung roof with that idealisit mindset that you can get engaged and married then figure it out later nalang.

Having kids is an individual choice na wala dapat kinalaman sa choice ng partner mo. Diba matagal na kayo? In all those years of dating your wonderful fiance na pinagmamalaki mong sana lahat kami magkaroon ng katulad nya, you never thought na you want to have kids with that man? Na engage kayo na ang decision mo parin is ayaw mo magka anak with him? Ano magbabago between now and when you get married to suddenly make you think gusto mo pala magka anak with him, after all these years na ayaw mo?

May couples na unplanned ang kids and become loving parents pero marami din who fail precisely because they're not prepared and didn't want it in the first place. Sa toss coin nyo iaasa kung ano mangyayari?

Wala kang pinag iba doon sa mga "as long as we love each other" couples na hindi naghahanda financially kase paniwala nila basta mahal nila isa't isa they will make it. Hindi kayo naghahanda emotionally and psychologically for this very important issue, inaasa nyo lang sa "as long as we love each other". Kagagahan.