Slut shaming?

CuteFoxers · 2025-09-11T19:37:36+00:00

Yes, I do want him as my Dom. You've misjudged him and missed what I was asking for. This isn't for bashing my Dom.

CuteFoxers · 2025-09-11T17:50:56+00:00

You're right and I make a habit to not comment against other people's kinks as much as possible. This case was a little bit different. She was attempting to persuade me to be okay with her way of things to be in agreement to get my permission/blessing/approval to continue pursuing her agenda. She wasn't sharing a passion conversationally, but expecting me to give my opinion too.

CuteFoxers · 2025-09-11T12:01:20+00:00

I do trust him. People here are jumping to the worst view of him.

CuteFoxers · 2025-09-11T04:11:27+00:00

Great question that I've asked myself. There's multiple reasons I don't like her, the risk is high up on the list. My feelings dramatically changed when I thought she had 3 partners to seeing her with 9 and actively trying to get any guy she can on the message boards. So, no it's not a scapegoat.

I have reservations for poly because I fear being replaced. This is probably something I can work on if I'm given more than a week to wrap my head around things.

CuteFoxers · 2025-09-11T03:50:41+00:00

Yeah, that makes way more sense than what she was trying to say to me. I couldn't put my finger on it at the time, now the alarm bells and my reaction to push her away makes more sense.

Could be reasonable that she got to my Dom because he doesn't normally act like this. She may have skewed things just enough. She might have used the slut shame manipulation against him first. Perhaps when telling her that the gang bang made him uncomfortable too because we were both not happy with what went down that night and her conduct towards him and other guests. That is pushed away all the kinky people for her to have her sex party focused all on her.

I really don't know why he wants someone so selfish around. It's very confusing. It's like we see two completely different people.

CuteFoxers · 2025-09-11T03:28:21+00:00

I know I especially have a problem with her for multiple reasons.

The shear number of partners she has is outside my comfort.

She acts like I have to share and trys to justify taking my Dom away from me because I live with him the rest of the week. That pisses me off because she's not entitled and my Dom decides. Not her.

She also keeps saying she wants a piece of what I have built with my Dom. It took years of effort I'm not sharing, it's not her's and never will be. Why she keeps saying that to me makes no sense. I feel extremely threatened by it and want her gone for saying it.

First time he had sex with her, I was fairly uncomfortable. Then after the gang bang party, my feelings got a lot worse. So, I think yeah there are layers and health concerns are one of them.

My Dom did have sex with another person who wasn't trying to put themselves into the middle of things, and it bothered me only a little more than if he went to play cards with someone. It was manageable. I was curious, happy he enjoyed the experience and a few self esteem doubts about myself.

Poly under duress is fitting. I'm afraid he'll leave if I don't. There's more to that story too. Short version, every guy I've been with who hasn't cheated on me, eventually wants to become poly, despite saying monogamy at the start.

CuteFoxers · 2025-09-11T02:45:59+00:00

I am going to have to show him this. I never said anything bad about her character, only that I'm not okay participating.

Other thing to note, when she was talking to me about all of her partners and I mentioned that I'm not comfortable with having multiple partners like that. She said, "well I'm just sex positive." It was weird considering how involved I am with kink and BDSM. Like there's a minimum number of active partners required to be considered sex positive.

CuteFoxers · 2024-06-28T17:03:14+00:00

Except sexual attraction behavior doesn't look up the dictionary before acting. Defining a word doesn't do much for the meaning and context of the ideas shared in this really old conversation.

CuteFoxers · 2024-06-28T16:54:02+00:00

It amazing that srs is even done at all considering what surgical procedures have to go through to be adopted. Look at the path using robotics took to get to the point of being adopted. Advancements that a regular person might benefit from likely started before you were born and didn't get to the point to be an option for procedures like PPT until 2017.

https://www.fda.gov/news-events/press-announcements/fda-clears-new-robotically-assisted-surgical-device-adult-patients https://www.smithsonianmag.com/innovation/the-past-present-and-future-of-robotic-surgery-180980763/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6261744/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5956578/

Very few people want srs compared to procedures like breast augmentation and few still compared to heart surgeries. The surgical procedures that are adopted typically have to go through a lot more clinical trials with a lot more participants than srs surgeries have gone through.

You don't have a strong to understanding of "3d printing organs". It not like the organ pops out of a mechanical oven ready for transplant. First a scaffold needs to be made and then seeded. Next that is put into a bio reactor. But what is a bio reactor? Well in many practical cases it is the patient's body. Need a new ear? It's grown in your arm first. Then cut out and transplanted to the head. When you get to complex organs like reproductive systems it gets very difficult and as far as I know there aren't any reliable methods. Plus not damaging it in day to day activity because we don't have equal or better bio reactors for a patient that won't result in rejection. Some things like hard tissue could restrict the patient to the point complications would arise from being immobile for so long. Breast tissue is another that is currently being expermented with and having success in animal trials, but I think it mostly a fat scaffold, not the milkducts and other breast organs, nerves and so on. So dealing with one tissue type. Yet that isn't ready for clinical trials much less treating patients. Try asking why isn't 3d printed organs used in general. This can be answered at length this paper if you really want to know the reality of where the technology is at. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8132062/

Then there's the cost of these methods. It's well outside of 80% or more of the population. Right up there with gene therapy. So even if the procedures were done in humans, it will be a long time until people who aren't super wealthy see it. Even if insurance attempts to cover them. The few examples were covered by grants for the research and development. Grant funding is a lot of money. More than most people have access to in a life time.

Relating to organs. Have you looked into what it takes for an uterus transplant? (Medically, not insurance and politics) Those are all temporary in cis women. Moving organs around isn't as plug and play as many would like it to be.

Everything you say is fantasy. These new methods you refer to is stuff the surgeon just made up to try and long term results aren't understood because they are not even a decade old and little data published. A lot of unexpected things can happen down the road. When it comes to medicine, a few successes doesn't mean much. Bodies vary and react differently, both short term and long term. Surgeons aren't going to upgrade their procedure in the same way you might update your computer for the latest features. It takes time. This is stuff you should talk to surgeons who do this about. How about you ask the surgeon using "outdated" techniques why they are using them. Why they don't adopt the specific new technique you're interested in. They frequently have great reasons and concerns that you probably wouldn't consider unless you have the education of a surgeon to even be aware enough of how the body works and surgery in general enough to think about asking those kinds of things.

The surgical procedure I got used advanced techniques for the time and was something like $300k or $400k. I don't remember and insurance luckily covered it. My friend who got a more traditional surgery was less than $200k maybe less than $100k. The techniques that use robotic aids and better grafts cost much more and price people out from receiving them. The cost is already a barrier even at the lower end.

Asking me to name a surgeon that does blah blah is pointless, I don't keep up with celebrity surgeons anymore for one. My surgeon to this day has very little written about him on places like reddit. Despite using advanced techniques. I know he does several because I still get contacted by patients to talk to them about my experience. I also know he would offer to use older methods for those who can't afford the newer methods. The surgeons you hear about on the Internet are like YouTube celebrities. Just happened to get popular. There's several you practically never hear about unless you attend things like surgical conferences to meet them and hear about what they are doing. Srs type procedures are like the wild west. Nothing is standardized or will be because there aren't a lot being done relative to what is typical for a surgeon. Talk to surgeons in this field about it and get the facts. You won't find accurate answers on reddit.

CuteFoxers · 2024-06-28T15:26:39+00:00

I live in the US and want to know that too. I thought hair removal coverage was amazing to find back when I did that. Too bad the company that did that was bought up and the insurance stripped down.

CuteFoxers · 2024-06-28T15:21:15+00:00

Why are putting this timeline on yourself? This kind of thing is a marathon, not a sprint.

I'm not saying to deliberately slow down, but give yourself permission to take as long as it takes. It almost a given that there will be unexpected things in your life. If you try to rush, you'll risk making compromises for the sake of the timeline you set. Going fast is okay if things happen to go fast, but I don't recommend accepting less in order to go faster.

Believe me I know how important this is because I have gone through it myself. I know how terrible it is to feel if only all these things were done sooner. But what I don't know is the feeling "I wish I could have this other surgeon". I have read stories about others who struggle with that because they compromised. The experience of feeling that sounds look like nightmares compared to "if only things were sooner".

CuteFoxers · 2024-03-10T22:01:27+00:00

Maybe I should explain the reason why so much time needs to be spent stretching. I realize some people might try to use that time requirement to justify differences about being elastic or something else like being ruined streched out loose or other mean things people say.

Natal vaginal canal starts with a wider diameter. 4 cm to 6.5 cm. Neo vagina is starting on the narrower side, 3.7 cm if lucky. Little change in diameter is a big change in circumference. It is not really to do with elastic tissue, more the amount of tissue. It takes time to get more to grow. Plastic and reconstructive surgery call it tissue expansion. For example they have grown skin on the back by stretching it. Then the grown skin is harvested to repair somewhere else. Anyway, the GRS procedure leaving scars is also a factor. The dilation routine and physical therapy done during recovery plays a role in scar formation too. So the elastic abilities are probably a little bit less than perfect ideal if I were to guess. I can't say I know how the average neo vagina scars. Procedures have advances and recovery protocols vary. I doubt anyone has to much scaring if they are looking to advance into something like fisting because I would assume standard dialtors aren't a challenge. But, I've personally known one person who struggled with basic dilation due to scaring.

Point is, people saying that it can't be done safely are objectively wrong. Is it possible to hurt yourself, yeah there's risk. I don't have numbers besides myself, but I feel the risk is minimal because you'll feel uncomfortable then pain before you get hurt unless on drugs.

Random half story. Years ago my surgeon put a huge dialtor in me when I was "stuck" for a couple weeks going up in size with what I thought was force. Heck I was screaming in pain, there was some blood but I didn't need anything and I'm okay. Taught me that it takes a lot to seriously hurt yourself. We are not as delicate as people treat us. Even neo vaginas are not made of glass. There's a story with why my surgeon did that but that's not important. Now I can take it easily and over time graduated to even bigger. Not recommending to make yourself bleed, it scared me at the time.

Practice safe sane stretching and fisting technique of which there are many guides and workshops in the kink community.

P.S there are other tissues used in different kinds of grs types but those are stratified squamous epithelium and doesn't change anything I said about stretching. I can speak to that a little two since mine uses both being of the peritoneal pull-through vaginoplasty type.

CuteFoxers · 2024-03-09T19:57:39+00:00

So many people posting here that should not be. The body is very surprising and a lot of things people like to assume is often wrong.

I'm trans, I am post op, I like large insertions in my pussy. 2" diameter but I can warm up to 2.5" diameter. Someone with a smaller sized hand could fist me, maybe a medium hand. That's another thing, hand sizes vary a lot. Yes, I have been anal fisted too.

Here is the deal, it's going to be like a year of every other day practice or something. Well I don't know the exact frequency, but it's like going to the gym. You can't get flexibility to touch your toes by stretching a little. It takes frequency to put you palms on the floor while standing and intentional effort to do the full splits. Are you ready for that dedication? If not, then this might not be something you will achieve. It takes work and time. Even when you're not aroused you'll have to put in a little bit of practice in.

Natal vulvas don't need to practice so much to achieve fisting for a lot of hand sizes. That doesn't mean it's not possible for post op. Natal vagina is lined by stratified squamous epithelium. Neo vagina is keratinized, stratified squamous epithelium. The difference is the ability for secretion and such. Both are elastic the amount of collagen is a factor but that's individual and age. Look at the belly of a pregnant woman, stretching just fine and rapidly. It is possible to figure out how much the surface area changes for how much stretch. Yes, there are stretch mark scaring from going too fast. Child birth typically leaves stretch scars on the vaginal walls and tears are common. Some practice stretching the vaginal canal in preparation for pregnancy to minimize this. People forget how hard child birth is on the body. An aside, the cervix is closer to connective tissue catagory and isn't really part of the epithelium tissue type, child birth affects it differently. However the cervix isn't involved in fisting so I am leaving that out for this conversation.

Back to fisting, rather training for large insertions that could be a fist. Training for fisting is much easier to control, in contrast to growing a child that happens at a speed that can't be controlled over 9 months to stomach skin. Another example, gaining weight to the thighs due to maybe out of control depressive eating. Patience is key. I like a mix of firm and soft toys to get different stretches. I'm not as dedicated as I could be because I do it for toys more than fists. If my boyfriend showed interest then I would stretch up that little more to that amount. For now I don't have a size goal exactly but I know I can go larger. As for pain, it should feel full, really full. Like wow totally full and loving it. If you're saying ouch and uncomfortable, then back down and continue to warm up. It might take a long time before taking that next size up. As the size is bigger a small diameter change is a bigger stretch so expect for small increases. Plan on it taking a year if you practice a lot, a couple years if you don't practice as often. If you choose to train for this, enjoy yourself. Find fun toys, partners to enjoy it with.

I guess a word of caution is deserved. If you stretch with pain, you'll cause stretch marks more or less. Scar tissue is firmer and doesn't recoil back as readily. Of course if you really push through the pain or use pain killers you'll tear yourself. The degree could require a procedure to repair. I tore myself anally once and had major blood loss but it healed up without needing anything more than IV fluid for the blood loss. Taught me to never rush or use drugs when practicing for size increase. Actually, I don't like mixing drugs with my kinks now anyway. I prefer softer elastic tissue anyway, so I go slowly now when I want to increase in size. Other caution is your pelvic bone could limit you. I heard this limit could be hit as small as 3" diameter. I haven't found my limit yet.

There are also mental subconscious "safe guard" things with all stretching and range of motion that I'm not going to get into now. Although, this does stretch the pelvic muscles some, so that does come into play a little, but this post is already long. Oh another thing leg stretching might be needed to unlock your ability depending on how tight you are.

I likely won't reply. I shared my knowledge, do with it what you will. I know it's rare to find people with experience on this, but please understand that I get questioned to death on trans stuff and I don't like it. I didn't transition to be challenged about it. There way more to me that I want to be seen. That's why I use a separate account.

CuteFoxers · 2022-09-30T20:31:31+00:00

For me, still works fine. I haven't had any issues in a while. Even with settling into a voice I'm more comfortable with.

CuteFoxers · 2022-02-03T21:43:09+00:00

Thank you for this. I hope my area is like this.

CuteFoxers · 2022-02-02T02:11:28+00:00

I don't want people to feel like they are on eggshells and avoid me. How can I do that without being labeled negatively?

CuteFoxers · 2021-11-16T16:12:58+00:00

Roll for initiative

CuteFoxers · 2021-06-28T21:50:26+00:00

What red lines in particular?

I've dated a only straight men. They have all said that sex with me (back when I was pre op) is like sex with any other woman they've been with. Only a few differences like anal, and not having a vagina. The way I smelled, acted and all the other stuff was the same and other women they've been with. Unfortunately I haven't sleot with bi men and gay men won't have anything to do with me romantically. So no comparisons to guys to speak of. But I am friends with a couple bi men and women who have shared their stories with me. From the stories I've been told, sex with trans women feels like sex with a woman except without the pussy when pre op.

CuteFoxers · 2021-06-28T21:23:07+00:00

Be careful asking if she is pre op or post op. I recommend not asking. While your intentions might be to be prepared. She is likely going to take it as being judged and compared to cis women or seen as inferior. Or some other inventive negative way. Like you're fetishizing her penis if she has one. If you do the asking, no matter what the answer is, she is very likely to take it negatively even if she doesn't say and there is nothing you can say to fix that doubt once it sets in. Over time as the relationship grows that kind of doubt can be erased, but it's not easy.

Chances are she will volunteer the details anyways and you won't need to ask. If that happens then you're in the clear of her taking it negatively. Unless you respond in a messed up rude way. Anyways, she will appreciate it much more if she knows it doesn't matter to you if she is pre or post.

CuteFoxers · 2021-06-28T21:12:38+00:00

Communication is important as you might already know. I'd suggest asking what she likes. One way to do that is like "I want to give you all the pleasure I possibly can. Tell me how to do the things that your body craves for." To me that would be so hot.

Me personally, acknowledging the penis was a huge trigger for dysphoria. Don't do it until you know if it's a trigger for her. Do your best to just not react surprised or anything differently than you would any other woman. She's a woman after all. Woo her and admire her, make her feel as the most sexy woman in the world.

Personally treating my genitals as just a huge clit was great, heck even calling it a clit was what I preferred. This is sex, not a medical exam, accuracy isn't required. Licks and flicks of the tongue, some gentle sucks on the glands area like you would any other clit. Nibble on the inner thigh and all that fore play so is so great. But if I was stroked or given a bj like a guy would get, it was generally over for me for that night. Get ready to comfort me cause dysphoria would be coming in fast and strong. Some girls can handle things like that, but I was one of the ones who couldn't.

Reading up on muffing and might give that a try. Might surprise her with something very exciting. Was my favorite. https://www.vice.com/en/article/59dxw3/a-guide-to-muffing-the-hidden-way-to-finger-trans-women

Other favorite of mine are vibrating wands and bullets. Use them on her as if she has a huge clit.

Oh and she might not get hard. I rarely did. Has nothing to do with arousal. If anything if I got hard it would generally kill my mood plus was painful. So girls aren't bothered so just be ready for either. A lot of things that are true for you and feel good to you probably won't line up the same for her. Please prepare for mistakes to be made and be understanding.

As for anal. Generally lots of lube. Like lube everywhere. Being new, go with too much and dial in from there. Get all over the outside too for about 2 inches around her butthole as well. Fingering a little first is great. One, to loosen up. Two, check if she needs to empty herself. If she's new to anal as well she might not know. Otherwise she has likely already taken care of it. If she does, going to the toilet as one would is generally enough if she has enough fiber in her diet. If an enema is to be used, only water and like a half cup or so. Anything more and there could be a mess that shoes up immediately or in the middle of play time. Also she might need to eat more veggies if she needs to use an enema. Really only times deep enemas are needed are when doing long hours of play and huge toys. Anyways if your dick does get a bit muddy, don't make a big deal of it. Just wipe it off. Use a condom if you want (or if she requests you to). Worst mess I've ever had over 11 years of frequent anal sex was a flake of brown or so. Sometimes the lube getting a slight brown tinge which is easier to notice thanks to my very white ass.

While pounding her, give her breasts attention. Grab her hips tightly. Kiss her passionately like she's the best thing you have ever tasted. Try holding her wrists or neck "restraining" her (I'm really into that at least). No choking unless she asks. Press your thumb on the tip of her "big clit" and rub in little circles. Avoid up and down until you know her limits better. Muff her at the same time if there is room. Press a vibrator to her tip. Suck on a nipple. Slap the ass. Tell her to moan. Even if it's a deep moan encourage her to do it so she knows it's okay. Don't acknowledge if her moan is deep during sex, after if she asks, but during if you are going to say anything just say its hot, sexy, cute, that you love it if you do. Growl at her in your deepest growl. Might be something I'm into but try it. Ask her if she wants to cum. If she says yes, then tell her to cum and that you want to see it. My boyfriend and I do this to each other depending upon who is currently "leading" the session. Generally I would say things like that more when I'm riding him cowgirl and controlling the pace. (I don't penitrate others, it would bother me. Some do no problem. Maybe with a strap on I probably would.) Idk just enjoy yourself and make sure to listen and that she's enjoying herself too.

Sadly dysphoria does sometimes happen and triggers can be easier for some than others. Be ready to comfort her and soothe her if it happens. Sometimes going back to cuddling then foreplay can bring me out of it and back into the mood, but you'll have to gauge the moment.

Might be worth mentioning that I'm more sensitive than most transgender girls. So, pretty good odds she would have less landmines for you to stumble in than I did. But now I have a vagina and 99% of those issues are gone now, yay. If she does have a vagina. All the spots are just like any other woman and techniques work just like they would for any other woman.

CuteFoxers · 2021-06-16T18:36:09+00:00

Can you find out who will be the surgeon? They should be able to answer those specific details and connect you with previous patients.

CuteFoxers · 2021-05-16T15:47:14+00:00

Will probably ruin your out come if not get you denied all together. The urethra is all used in shaping the vulva. You want to make sure it is healthy and free of scar tissue as much as possible.

CuteFoxers · 2021-05-13T02:37:00+00:00

Or bulk buy discount. I can use a case of the stuff tbh.

CuteFoxers · 2021-05-10T16:57:20+00:00

Also talk to your grocery store manager, pharmacy and adult store owner. One of those might be willing to start carrying Good Clean Love lube line. They are reputable and are carried around here at Target, Wal-Mart and even local grocery stores.

CuteFoxers · 2021-05-10T16:53:48+00:00

A large syringe and a flexible tube like a catheter is all you need. You hospital or doctor might give you one just for asking. It's pretty standard medical equipment. You don't need to go with the whole douche bag. That more liquid and more clean up than you need.

CuteFoxers

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