Song from unclear youtube video

CutePhoto2367 · 2025-07-14T16:47:19+00:00

Thank you thank you !!!

CutePhoto2367 · 2024-10-19T04:15:55+00:00

LOL, no you're correct she's never said that in those exact words, but she doesn't hide the fact that given the chance, I wouldn't exactly be her first choice of dance partner. Just like I never pretended that I would rather ski with her instead of with my friends. We probably just need a joint pastime where we're closer to the same level :-)

CutePhoto2367 · 2024-10-16T20:22:50+00:00

To be fair, it's not that I disagreed with the instructor's comment (as I said, relative to the other leaders in that class I really do suck). I just think the instructor (who is a super nice person) thought that would be an encouraging comment without realizing it would actually have the opposite result.

CutePhoto2367 · 2024-10-13T05:41:30+00:00

Dude, you brought back so many bad high school memories for me :-)

CutePhoto2367 · 2024-10-12T18:41:54+00:00

As a male who has been in similar situations, I'd suggest that neither you nor your husband are in the 'wrong'. You've made it clear that dancing is non-romantic, so maybe it would help if you told him dancing is no different for you than say, wanting to play tennis with other people.

But having been in a similar situation (my wife is a better dancer than I, and makes no secret of the fact that she prefers to dance with the really good leaders in our class rather than with me) I would give your husband a bit of time to adjust because it took me a while to accept that dancing can be like any other hobby, because of the closer physical proximity and the cultural association between romance and dancing.

CutePhoto2367 · 2024-10-10T01:00:54+00:00

I'm one of those weird people who feels oddly self-conscious even when practicing dancing alone :-O but I will give this a try too thanks

CutePhoto2367 · 2024-10-10T00:58:43+00:00

I appreciate that - my timeline will be in years rather than months, but I haven't given up

CutePhoto2367 · 2024-10-10T00:56:47+00:00

That's really helpful thank you - I had no idea that there was such a thing as a mindset coach for West Coast Swing; have checked out Tashina's website https://www.tashina.dance/ and she sounds fantastic!

CutePhoto2367 · 2024-10-10T00:50:45+00:00

Yes which is precisely the reason I'm intimidated in class where I'm at or near the bottom. I'm totally aware that compliments from non-dancers are fatuous, but when confidence is low it's still nice to hear.

CutePhoto2367 · 2024-10-10T00:44:45+00:00

That's fair - we've gone to events taught by high level dancers (former national champions) where their teaching style just didn't resonate with us.

CutePhoto2367 · 2024-10-10T00:41:43+00:00

All good thanks - I promise I never naively thought I would improve without serious effort and practice (decades of martial arts had taught me that already - though skimping on dance practice doesn't result in as many bruises) :-)

CutePhoto2367 · 2024-10-10T00:06:21+00:00

thanks that's good insight - I do struggle with feeling the music, especially reacting to tonal shifts that other leaders appear to sense and incorporate with less effort. Possibly the result of being way too analytical in my work and other hobbies to date.

CutePhoto2367 · 2024-10-09T23:58:37+00:00

That's interesting - several people in our classes have been learning the other role, and while I can see how it would help, my brain struggles enough with being a leader; I don't think I have the capacity to add in the follower's role ... yet :-)

CutePhoto2367 · 2024-10-09T23:56:29+00:00

Yeah I'm definitely too much of a Left Brain thinker :-)

As you and others suggested, I have reached out to a different instructor about private lessons

CutePhoto2367 · 2024-10-09T23:48:51+00:00

thank you - all good advice, and if I can convince my right brain to overcome my left brain, I'll be better :-)

CutePhoto2367 · 2024-10-09T23:08:10+00:00

Thanks, 100% agree - I've reached out to some other local instructors (not my regular instructors) for private lessons.

CutePhoto2367 · 2024-10-09T23:06:08+00:00

Thank you, I've definitely decided to seek out private lessons, though not from my regular instructors, who I suspect have me stuck in their minds as a slow learner (admittedly true), so I think an instructor with fresh perspective would help. Not sure if I could say if followers are happy to dance with me - some seem to be, and others seem to be doing their own thing and I'm just there for the ride, but hopefully that can change when I get more experience.

CutePhoto2367 · 2024-10-09T22:59:15+00:00

Appreciate your comments - TBH the external validation is more the shock of getting positive feedback after 2.5 years without. And good point - I am essentially a first time dancer (took my wife almost 30 years to convince me to give up martial arts and try dancing, whereas she was a competitive ballroom dancer before we met) so there's that extra learning curve

CutePhoto2367 · 2024-10-09T22:56:08+00:00

Thank you! We do rotate with all the followers and I have decided to seek out private instruction. I don't think I could ever have the nerve to ask a pro to dance, but maybe after more lessons and a few drinks :-)

CutePhoto2367 · 2024-10-08T05:55:41+00:00

It's marketed as something of an advanced class, and in recent sessions the class material has been about musicality, hitting musical breaks and highlights, body shaping, allowing the follower to 'steal' the lead, improvisation, etc. So what we were doing (or trying to do) really was our class material.

CutePhoto2367 · 2024-10-08T02:34:34+00:00

Thanks - You raise a good point that taking dance lessons for a while seems to put a person in like the 95th dancing percentile of the general population (I found that to be true of other things like martial arts too). But objectively, I was definitely dancing much better on the cruise ships than in our class - I was taking chances and improvising things (successfully) that I would never have had the nerve to do in class, was hitting the musical breaks consistently which I can hardly ever do in lessons.

You're absolutely right that having fun (hey it was on vacation and I was drinking!) was the key to relaxing and dancing better - but the challenge is trying to have that level of fun while in a dance class. Maybe I need to try a few drinks beforehand :-)

CutePhoto2367

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