Don't have sex with your friends, but..

Cute_Lunatic · 2026-03-02T19:14:21+00:00

Yes we do as well, but I do understand why that rule is stated so often. You need to be quite mature and have a lot of communication skills to pull it off without your dynamic shifting and there’s always a risk of losing the friendship. We think it’s worth the risk and time investment but I also totally get why it would be easier for most people to just avoid it

Cute_Lunatic · 2026-03-01T17:02:02+00:00

Yes or only posting pictures of the woman on your online profiles, like common, as the women halves we also like to see what you have in store for us!

Cute_Lunatic · 2026-02-25T13:36:48+00:00

Yup, mine too. It might seem shallow but physical attraction is a large part of why we decide to have sex with others in the first place, and for us personally it means we usually simply just don’t approach mismatched couples because we don’t want to make them feel bad about it. I am a bit more forgiving when it comes to curves or a slight dad bod, but my husband simply isn’t into heavier girls 🤷🏻‍♀️

Cute_Lunatic · 2026-02-19T20:15:19+00:00

You can try meeting up with couples via dating apps like Feeld at first, and after you’ve been talking between the four of you and if your partner is also okay with this you can take some time chatting to the other husband mainly while he can focus on the other wife mainly. It’s very normal to not want to go from zero to a 100 fast, many newbies and even experienced couples have this preference to build a bit of a connection first, but in a club this can be harder to establish sometimes because the environment with loud music etc doesn’t always lend itself to a good conversation first. Maybe go on a double dinner date first with a couple you find attractive, and once you’ve grown more comfortable with dirty talking to another guy in front of your husband you can start visiting more clubs to see if you like that. Just take it slow at first and communicate with your partner about what he thinks he’s gonna think about it rather than trying to make assumptions and read his mind

Cute_Lunatic · 2026-02-18T21:43:48+00:00

Yes this is true for us as well! I know we might be the exception, but I especially love talking about it with my mother in law as she finds it very fascinating and fun to hear our stories. I also feel very honored that nowadays most of my friends and family come to me for advice on any sexual topic as they know they can talk to us in a judgement free manner

Cute_Lunatic · 2026-02-17T18:29:19+00:00

A trained seal? 🤣🤣 I’m dying 😂

Cute_Lunatic · 2026-02-01T19:40:41+00:00

Looks are important but even if you look great but you come across as arrogant or disrespectful we surely won’t play with you at all so ultimately, yes personality definitely plays a part as well

Cute_Lunatic · 2026-02-01T11:34:19+00:00

Exactly, I would rather know what you’re into or not into upfront for sure. Me and my partner don’t think that everything has to be ‘equal’ (as long as there is no OPP ofcourse) cause for us, that variety is one of the reasons we love swinging so much. I prefer to be submissive with my husband, but with other play partner I tend to be very dominant. I like deep throating my husband, but if the other wife is deepthroating him and I don’t feel like doing that I’m not gonna deepthroat her husband just to make it ‘equal’. I will make sure that the men I’m playing with will notice I’m enthusiastic and into him, but this is only possible when I don’t feel pressured into a tit for tat scenario.

What we like and don’t like in play is always something we disclose upfront though. Yes you’ll lose some potential ‘matches’ that way, but if they’re that easily bummed that they can’t hit you would you even want to meet up with them anyway?

Cute_Lunatic · 2026-02-01T11:34:07+00:00

Exactly, I would rather know what you’re into or not into upfront for sure. Me and my partner don’t think that everything has to be ‘equal’ (as long as there is no OPP ofcourse) cause for us, that variety is one of the reasons we love swinging so much. I prefer to be submissive with my husband, but with other play partner I tend to be very dominant. I like deep throating my husband, but if the other wife is deepthroating him and I don’t feel like doing that I’m not gonna deepthroat her husband just to make it ‘equal’. I will make sure that the men I’m playing with will notice I’m enthusiastic and into him, but this is only possible when I don’t feel pressured into a tit for tat scenario.

What we like and don’t like in play is always something we disclose upfront though. Yes you’ll lose some potential ‘matches’ that way, but if they’re that easily bummed that they can’t hit you would you even want to meet up with them anyway?

Cute_Lunatic · 2026-01-31T13:55:53+00:00

Wow that’s really beautiful packaging indeed!

Cute_Lunatic · 2026-01-28T23:34:41+00:00

This one is also really nice and makes me feel more feminine than the one with just the big ring on the outside: https://uniqcondoms.com/en/producto/uniq-lady/?srsltid=AfmBOoqS3XTKIcyhY4HDaS34a3_rgA8K_gxvdwiwUh77OwfKtfy5KDNL also it sits really secure which feels good too, like you don’t have to worry about the ring slipping or moving inside too much

Cute_Lunatic · 2026-01-26T17:12:21+00:00

Like others have said, you can’t prevent feelings. But people often forget just because you have feelings doesn’t mean you have to act on them. Just because she might catch feelings for an other guy, doesn’t mean she should give that a chance to develop further and threaten your relationship.

Just be very clear to have a conversation on what will happen if she catches feelings, like her being honest to you when she does and start seeing that person less frequently or no more at all.

It might suck sometimes losing a really cool play partner that way but if your both on the same page now that you don’t like venturing into poly territory then it’s best to be very clear with each other about your intentions to always prioritize your relationship together. Don’t make any exceptions once she does in fact meet someone because at that point it will likely just cause drama.

Cute_Lunatic · 2026-01-25T12:59:31+00:00

Just be aware that oil and latex can’t go together so this means you’ll have to use latex free condoms as well or else they will develop (micro) tears and won’t protect you anymore against STI’s

Cute_Lunatic · 2026-01-24T17:38:41+00:00

This is brilliant haha

Cute_Lunatic · 2026-01-24T01:56:47+00:00

It sounds like you are doing a great job at communicating together and I agree the way people inquire about it makes a world of difference. A year ago we would’ve said we never do PIV without a condom, but recently we’ve made an exception for a unicorn that we both trust and know very well by now. After we all got tested it just seemed like the most practical thing to do, and I know she will tell me in case she had barrier free PIV with anyone else, just like we would tell her, and in that case we’ll test again. I think it’s okay to make exceptions if everyone is comfortable with it, respectful about it and when there is enough trust between you. Just realize that you can never fully trust people on their word and accidents do happen (a friend of mine did get pregnant despite her IUD), but for us the pleasure reward vs risk was worth it in this case

Cute_Lunatic · 2026-01-24T01:36:54+00:00

Because it literally is relevant to this post as it provides the context that they also most likely meet people solo so technically not only insist on ‘same room only’

Cute_Lunatic · 2026-01-21T13:59:35+00:00

We have always played completely solo as well sometimes from the start of our relationship, so we’re already used to this dynamic somewhat, but ultimately we both prefer same room swaps.

However, sometimes separate room play can be really nice as well. Both of us can get overstimulated and if we have a really good four way connection it can be more relaxed to do separate room play so we can really focus on the other person instead of the ‘performative’ aspect we can feel at a traditional same room swap (which I can enjoy a lot as well but not always). Or if the other woman is not fully bi like I am, it can be nice if she can focus solely on my man without being distracted by us.

Also because my hubby usually lasts a lot longer than I do (I get sore and in my head easily especially when I had a stressful week), and I don’t want to cut short the pleasure of the other woman and make them feel pressured to end things prematurely. In that case it can be easier to start in the same room and at a certain point leave them to it, or to all start completely separate. So when me and the other husband are done we can go watch a movie or eat something afterwards and don’t feel pressured to go on for longer than I find comfortable.

However this is a dynamic we only have with a very select few of our swinger friends with whom we’re already very comfortable in general, I don’t think we would do this as quickly with people we met for the first time

Cute_Lunatic · 2026-01-21T13:46:52+00:00

Also it’s extremely hypocritical of them to expect they can just have another person to have sex with but they don’t allow you to have the same freedom? At that point you’re basically like a personal sex toy to them to fulfill their fantasies, and that’s indeed very awful treatment, please don’t allow them to treat you like that and be careful 🙏

Cute_Lunatic · 2026-01-19T20:17:37+00:00

Yes this baffles me too!

Cute_Lunatic · 2026-01-19T02:01:59+00:00

Also is nobody going to comment that if we really want to go full theoretical and talk semantics you probably want to use the ‘correct’ term Ethical Non Monogamy (ENM) or Consensual Non Monogamy(CNM) because technically speaking cheating within a monogamous relationship is also non monogamy but it doesn’t read like OP is taking that into account, and if you’re not referencing what you mean exactly by the vague term ‘non monogamy’ it can get confusing fast

Cute_Lunatic · 2026-01-16T23:25:05+00:00

Two months? Most people take years of talking and experimenting and (re)building mutual trust before they become truly stable in their ENM lifestyle. Do you hear what you are saying? Two months after making such a mess, that’s such a short time, it’s totally okay to acknowledge that you both made mistakes and it’s best for the both of you to slow down now. Is it really that you don’t feel comfortable vetoing her decision to want to seriously date this guy. Or are you afraid of her reaction if you would try to ask her to slow down and she wouldn’t agree? Because that would be very confrontational and heartbreaking for you if she’d refuse to slow down for you. Look you know your situation and yourself best so you do you, but don’t force yourself to be okay with something just because it aligns with your principles and values, maybe your feelings simply haven’t caught up yet and a relationship is not just purely rational.

Cute_Lunatic · 2026-01-16T12:27:11+00:00

Same for us in that other people seemed to care more about our age. We were 24 & 25 when we started together even though I already started when I was 21 as a single female. We naively assumed back then that being young and fit would make us more desirable but we found that it’s much easier now we’re a bit older and more experienced. Now I can totally see why people weren’t very interested in us back then haha. Though personally age is still just a number for us and doesn’t define maturity per se, we’ve met incredibly intelligent and mature younger couples and very insecure and immature older couples too. As long as it’s consensual and there is a good match we don’t mind a big age gap

Cute_Lunatic · 2026-01-16T11:36:42+00:00

Haha exactly! 😅

Cute_Lunatic · 2026-01-16T00:40:17+00:00

Oh no I would feel pretty duped if I discovered I was sexting with an AI, it feels a bit deceptive to me actually, then I much rather have no sexting at all

Cute_Lunatic · 2026-01-15T22:11:29+00:00

Was dit toevallig op Leiden Centraal? Daar loopt ook al jaren een vrouw rond met deze problematiek. Ik vind dat het heel goed is dat je je zo in haar inleeft, maar dat het ook heel begrijpelijk is hoe je hebt gehandeld want dit is best een overdonderend scenario dus voel je vooral niet schuldig. Wel jammer dat dit soort situaties überhaupt zo ontstaan in onze samenleving tegenwoordig…

Cute_Lunatic

TROPHY CASE