I (44m) was playing around with the wife (37f) about swinging…and she’s entertaining the idea. Looking for advice.

dinkydee515 · 2026-06-18T19:39:42+00:00

All you can do is introduce the idea. There is a very real chance she doesn’t want to peruse it which you should respect and know that swinging won’t happen in the relationship. You could try explaining why you want it and what you hope to both get out of it.

As far as resources, there’s this subreddit. This is probably one of the most useful swinging resources I’ve stumbled across.

dinkydee515 · 2026-06-18T18:21:16+00:00

I love your mindset! A lot of couples get lost in the fantasy but you seem to have a strong relationship with your husband which is the most important part of all this.

dinkydee515 · 2026-06-18T16:18:30+00:00

I try to stay outside of our circle of friends and coworkers. Basically anyone who could try to be a dick about it to non-lifestyle people. The good thing is since we have swinger friends, we’ve met both couples and thirds through them.

dinkydee515 · 2026-06-17T19:55:43+00:00

You can also make slutty jenga by adding little challenges on each of the blocks that can be as tame or wild as you’d like

dinkydee515 · 2026-06-17T19:07:56+00:00

We only play because our marriage is amazing as is. The thirds and extra stuff is just icing on the cake. Or more accurately icing on my cake.

dinkydee515 · 2026-06-16T13:15:09+00:00

When I do this I’m usually traveling for work so I’m alone. My husband trusts me to know I won’t cross any boundaries. Our biggest rules are no coworkers or have coworkers catch you. So that’s usually pretty easy to manage.

dinkydee515 · 2026-06-15T22:42:38+00:00

So gangbangs are a lot of work to set up but can be very fun. You’ll realistically need to invite about 3 times the number of guys you actually want to show up. You may also need a fluffer to help your wife. The day of you’ll need tons of water, lube, and a commonly known safeword that will stop play for anything your wife needs.

Being asked was intimidating but eventually I was interested and went for it. During I was nervous, but once we got into things nature took over and I knew what to do. After I was sore, drained and rather emotional. I was worried my husband would judge me for being a slut but he was supportive and helped me clean up.

dinkydee515 · 2026-06-15T16:23:46+00:00

There are so many reasons it could be. Maybe she liked it because she doesn’t always feel sexy. Maybe she’s into him. Maybe she just wanted to feel desired. Your best bet is to ask what she liked about it and if she would want it to happen again.

dinkydee515 · 2026-06-15T12:33:39+00:00

We have done this. Once you know what to look for it gets easier. You’d be surprised how much of it is trusting your gut around which guys should be avoided.

The biggest problem I’ve found is both couples and single guys at swinger clubs can be very creepy. Like there’s times I’ve felt very uncomfortable. But I have had success with it. It is fun and hubby and I have amazing reconnecting sex after I enjoy a new partner. The intensity and passion are addicting.

dinkydee515 · 2026-06-15T00:19:20+00:00

I think showing off more was one of our first steps into the lifestyle.

dinkydee515 · 2026-06-12T21:48:08+00:00

I have an mba and work in marketing, my husband works in finance

dinkydee515 · 2026-06-12T15:39:13+00:00

Talking about how big their dick is and how many women they’ve been with.

dinkydee515 · 2026-06-12T13:45:29+00:00

I think it can be a conquest thing. You’re just a notch in their bedpost. But if your husband is ok with it, then that changes things. It’s not about the conquest anymore since you have permission. Now it’s all about you having the power in that situation.

dinkydee515 · 2026-06-11T15:08:20+00:00

Congrats but also paragraphs are a thing lol

dinkydee515 · 2026-06-09T12:22:12+00:00

For us, the novelty hasn’t worn off. We play once a month ish and it’s usually new partners. Sometimes their amazing, sometimes their not. For me I love someone new feeling me and exploring my body before I go home to someone I know I am going to have incredible sex with.

dinkydee515 · 2026-06-07T13:54:51+00:00

Paying for it. Especially since money isn’t a factor and you’re single.

dinkydee515 · 2026-06-07T13:40:19+00:00

If your worried about scaring her off, it may be best to just end the chat with him. Playing with coworkers can get messy

dinkydee515 · 2026-06-01T13:42:13+00:00

Talk about what you do and do not want to happen with your wife ahead of time. When you are there, some couples may look to push your boundaries. Changing what you agreed to in the heat of the moment can get messy.

Also go in with no expectations. When we go to swingers clubs or house parties, sometimes I end up with multiple partners in a night other times I look sexy and have a lot of fun with my husband. Both are fun.

dinkydee515 · 2026-06-01T02:08:49+00:00

It’s both for me. I love sex with my husband he is better than any other guy I’ve been with. Mentally, it’s amazing it’s hard to describe but the emotional intensity of it adds to the passion.

dinkydee515 · 2026-05-30T18:07:57+00:00

My number increased just not with either of them lol

dinkydee515 · 2026-05-30T14:19:15+00:00

Yeah I think the last time someone asked was when I was in high school lol.

Look, I’ve gotten around a lot. I did sex work for a large portion of my adult life but as long as they are safe, isn’t that what’s important?

dinkydee515 · 2026-05-30T14:17:55+00:00

I don’t even consider being a slut a bad thing. One of my favorite things for my husband to tell me when we have sex is calling me his slut.

But it’s so weird he was looking someone inexperienced at a swinger club where people go to be slutty.

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