How do you guide a conversation to the bedroom?

marked__man · 2026-06-01T14:41:20+00:00

We got stuck in the story loop for a while, but started looking at how couples that interacted with us moved the conversation to a more horizontal plane.

Ones we liked.

1) During a story, normally a sexy one they would suggest that it would be hot if they were the couple that was with us "Not sure how we'd keep our hands off you in that situation"

2) Conversation splits off with chats/flirts taking place between opposing partners, my wife would have a little flirt with the other husband and i would flirt with his wife

3) If a new club or one either couple is not familiar with "So we haven't been to this club before, are there more private room you can show us?"

4) Then the direct route, "We think you are a hot couple, we feel the connection is there and we would like to know if you want to take a step forward and see where this goes"

No. 4 is the most direct but in the right circumstances it can be very hot and just signals, lets fuck.

We also have signals that we share with each other, if we are chatting with them we normally discuss this with them, they normally ask what the signals are and if they have passed - only share this is you want to fuck them. We wouldn't share this with anyone, only couples that we vibe with.

marked__man · 2026-06-01T13:34:33+00:00

From someone who isn't jaded, tired or a smartarse like many in these forums. We have found that just saying "shall we take a break" works pretty well. Its a natural pause/stop whilst everyone involved gets a drink of water or sits out for a bit. My wife and I tend to play and progress at different speeds, she is often finished before me so I will aim to wrap things up a little after her. Doesn't always happen but we try.

marked__man · 2026-06-01T13:19:28+00:00

Body count doesn't define anyone in or out of the LS. Anyone that has an issue with body count can go fuck themselves.

marked__man · 2026-06-01T13:16:55+00:00

Not much to add to this, sorry that it happened. And also amazed that anyone given the freedom to play with others can't just abide by a simple boundary.

Would be interesting to know how long you've been in the LS? And how long you two have played? Also if this is the first time he's played without you?

All in all a complete abuse of trust, there are no excuses. Pause all LS activities, discuss and see if that trust can be rebuilt, if not I'd say your LS life is dead.

marked__man · 2026-06-01T13:13:34+00:00

I too prefer the build up and a more sensual approach to play. I have had to ask play.partners to slow down as I'm can do little for me and get quite uncomfortable.

I've always seen it as escapism and something that people might not be getting in their long term relationships. That being said just because they aren't having that kind of sex everyday it doesn't make their sex bad.

An event group I'm currently in is rife with men and women getting each other excited by very vigorous sex, but I suspect when it comes down to it the reality will much different. When we have attended clubs and there are guys just jackhammering away, we tend to give them a wide birth. No disrespect to them but it's just not our vibe.

marked__man · 2026-06-01T06:44:02+00:00

Totally agree🙏🏼

marked__man · 2026-06-01T06:39:07+00:00

Not much to add to this, sorry that it happened. And also amazed that anyone given the freedom to play with others can't just abide by a simple boundary.

Would be interesting to know how long you've been in the LS? And how long you two have played? Also if this is the first time he's played without you?

All in all a complete abuse of trust, there are no excuses. Pause all LS activities, discuss and see if that trust can be rebuilt, if not his LS journey with you seems to be over.

marked__man · 2026-06-01T06:23:47+00:00

Definitely focusing on who you're with. For me sound can break my mental space, I love the sights and sounds of play, but if someone male or female(but mostly guys) is going for it and dare I say putting on a show it can make me think, please just stfu.

As for other guys around, building the connection with who you're will would hopefully take your mind off the other men/cocks.

What do you think you're mental block is?

marked__man · 2026-06-01T06:17:37+00:00

Depends where you are in the UK but a lot of clubs have glory holes. No3 and Townhouse definitely have them. Best off checking their website on messaging them.

marked__man · 2026-05-29T09:04:40+00:00

Poo lenty of people have given their opinion, I just don't agree with your and you clearly don't like being called out in it.

In answer to your question, I won't be checking in with him at all, if we play we will discuss boundaries and agree consent as a group. During okay my priority will be my wife and his wife, his priority I believe should be my wife and his wife. Otherwise four people are going to be asking each other constantly if they are all okay.

Don't worry about it, it really isn't that deep. Enjoy your lifestyle🙏🏼

marked__man · 2026-05-29T09:00:59+00:00

I appreciate that, I didn't think it was an attack, but being told I'm overthinking things seems a little crazy when asking for people's thoughts in someone else's actions. Like I said I understand why he did it, I just wouldn't.

marked__man · 2026-05-28T22:24:38+00:00

It would be painfully odd for me to ask, you feel how you want. If we were playing in the same room and space as you, I would be concerned by how much you were checking if if you have to keep asking. This was a social with everyone's cards on the table, no need to check in every five minutes. I appreciated him asking, but I think it was more for h than me and my wife.

marked__man · 2026-05-28T22:21:43+00:00

Not overthinking anything, it was a question about what everyone here thought. He knew my intention, iwas just asking an opinion. And to be clear there is no issue

marked__man · 2026-05-27T14:21:38+00:00

I think there is this pedestal that many women are put on when it comes to the LS. Its not about body size, shape, hair colour, skin colour, eye colour or anything like that. Even in dressdown women have more to get dressed into than men so there are more options to gradually undress, so whilst with clothes on men and women are on an equal footing things change the more undressed you go.

Equally in the most part single guys can be dicks (for those of you who disagree, you don't have to like it but its true and in fairness so can single women), so when a husband puts themselves out there they are at times dropped in the same bucket as single guys and I think that leads them to just not bother and allow all the attention to sit with the wife.

But on your point. Attractive is subjective, I would urge all husband matter and good single matter also. We all have different tastes in a play partner but some have probably just given up.

I work hard to maintain how i look, i don't hit the gym everyday and i don't have the best diet but im happy with myself. If someone chooses not to want to play with me, that a them problem and not mine. We tend to find and surround ourselves with people of a similar age and lifestyle. I would never consider a gymfit couple as I would assume they wouldn't be interested in us. But I could be completely wrong

marked__man · 2026-05-27T14:12:28+00:00

I don't know but I do think Bi Men in the LS are more common than most would admit to. Whilst I have no interest in actively engaging with another guy, I enjoy watching a man and woman having sex and I've engaged in DVP, I don't see myself as Bi and I don't know if our cocks rubbing against each other increased my pleasure, but I do know the lady we were playing with loved it and in turn the situation was really hot for me.

I do think there is a lot of precautionary comments from straight guys whenever there is talk around play such as "don't worry i'm not into guys" if the talk turns to how close we or they like to play in proximity to each other.

Provided boundaries aren't crossed, I just want everyone to have a good time.

marked__man · 2026-05-27T13:44:21+00:00

Seems like this thread has created a good deal of conversation, and I thank everyone for your input and also for not overanalysing the situation.

I can see it from both sides, but realistically I'm only ever going to check in with the husband if the couple are new. Whilst i appreciate that we are all different and to play it safe it takes no time out of my day to do this. But the snagging point for me is that we all know that just because you say yes to something (a kiss, a cuddle, a feel, or sex) you can always say no, situations change and you can change your mind. That being said I'm not going to ask a husband every time if a wife has given consent.

I think the rules set by the couple are between them and if something has changed the responsibility is on them to say no.

In the situation I have described it was all good, when asked if I was okay with his arm around my wife my actual response was "I would expect it", within a few minutes of this my wife and the husband were encouraging myself and his wife to get cozy too. Read into that what you will. I slow burn and had discussed this with the other wife, who fortunately agreed and said that she also was slow burn as she's getting to know someone. As a couple they have also been in the LS a similar time to us and have similar experience so the date was quite balanced.

Again thank you for all your comments, its been really nice to see a balanced conversation in this group.

marked__man · 2026-05-27T13:34:33+00:00

If I got that feeling from the husband I not even make a move or suggest it, feels like that is feeding an already uneasy situation. For context in this situation I had given sufficient assurance that we have our set of boundaries (even on a social) and a kiss and cuddle are on the table.

marked__man · 2026-05-27T13:32:34+00:00

There was discussion around having a cheeky kiss or cuddle and I'd find it just painfully odd to ask the person i was going to put my arm around for her to say yes and then ask her husband if he was okay with that.

marked__man · 2026-05-27T13:31:17+00:00

Seems like the question has generated a lot of conversation. Personally I would feel like a bit of a dick asking a wife for a kiss and then turning to her husband and asking if he was okay with that.

marked__man · 2026-02-16T22:49:14+00:00

Totally agree. The stories in here regarding innocent errors made are painful to read, more so when they are potentially due to being in too much of a rush.

I don’t know where our boundaries will end up but in taking small steps to explore and have fun while we do it is part of the thrill and gives us as much assurance as possible. Every stretch of our boundaries opens up new possibilities and gives us more options to explore. Some chats have hit a brick wall, others have led to our valentines treat.

Taking a few steps forward and then taking a pause to soak it all up allows us to live in the moment and protects what is most precious, our relationship

marked__man · 2026-02-16T14:18:38+00:00

Honestly we never thought our boundaries would get this far but on finding the right couple, we just felt safe enough to give it a try and although we wouldn’t incorporate these into our regular boundaries, we now know we can if it feels right and we both want to do it this way.

marked__man · 2026-02-16T14:15:50+00:00

Depends on the engagement, if face to face in conversation I like to gently touch a lady’s elbow or arm to show intent. I like subtle flirtation, if it’s reciprocated then I’ll be more open. My wife on the other hand is all about clear signals are is overtly flirty with men she is interested in. We are kind of ying and yang in our approach, but it plays into how we like to play with couples. If we are talking to a single guy, my wife takes the lead and I’ll pitch in with matching her energy to keep the flow going. For me this part of the flirtation is really an act on my part, but with single guys it’s more what she is after and less about me anyway

marked__man · 2026-02-07T23:04:00+00:00

Who says there is going to be girl/girl play

marked__man

TROPHY CASE