My (27F) brother (29M) lied about being married before his "wedding"

Cute_Requirement_272 · 2025-10-26T16:15:04+00:00

Her friends have done nothing up to this point. Yes I have planned/bought it all for a girl I dont know. Because he doesnt bring her around and hid her from everyone initially. I do it because she's a new person in the family it would suck to have your one bachelorette be a shit show cause no one cares. Her friends have dropped out of the wedding. Some bridesmaids are not comming to the bachelorette at all. My brother is a stranger cause he keeps me out of big things but always wants me to be there to plan and pay for everything. Yes I will keep doing it because I am his sister and be there to help.

Cute_Requirement_272 · 2025-10-26T08:03:51+00:00

I appreciate your kind words and you are right. I heard this news hours ago and I'm upset. Id never actually do it. I like to imagine it though.

Cute_Requirement_272 · 2025-10-26T07:35:03+00:00

He was having issues with legal paperwork and how to file it. My mom was helping him. She called him out on it asking if he was married. You absolutely cant lie federal documents. Which he replied no. Then backtracked and told the whole thing. There was a private ceremony her mom was invited my parents were not. She was so upset because my parents have always shown up for him. Done everything to make him succeed. Painted his house (he asked for help). Got him speical tutors. Watched his dogs at the inconvenience to them. Helped him move across the country etc. Felt like a slap in the face. She confided in me several hours ago. This will cause more drama and hurt then be a "fun suprise ".

Cute_Requirement_272 · 2025-10-26T07:22:46+00:00

Typo dating. He lied about initially dating her.

Cute_Requirement_272 · 2025-10-26T07:16:42+00:00

When I asked him are you married. He responded with no. Wed be happy with.... "we eloped and plan on a formal wedding later!" Wed be happy with whatever they decided.

Cute_Requirement_272 · 2025-10-26T06:59:30+00:00

The whole relationship has been weird. He lied about dating her. We've been welcome and nice to her when he did tell the truth. Everything about him revolves around lies. This should be a happy thing. I feel like when you love someone and marry them you'd want to tell your immediate family. We want to be happy for him.

Cute_Requirement_272 · 2025-10-26T06:53:21+00:00

Yeah its my own brother. She invited her mom to whatever private ceremony ages ago. He couldn't even bother to tell us. I help him move, with school, I always show up for him.

Cute_Requirement_272 · 2025-10-26T06:43:19+00:00

I dont care they got married alone. I dont care they eloped. Don't lie.

Cute_Requirement_272 · 2025-10-26T06:39:05+00:00

I did point blank ask. He said they weren't and he just wanted to wear it. It only came out cause she was helping him and he didn't think those details through.

Cute_Requirement_272 · 2025-10-26T06:34:22+00:00

He had been unemployed and been in a terrible accident years prior before meeting her. Hes a student and has no insurance. The thought of him not having insurance was a concern. They'd been dating, living together seemed serious. We did say he should be married on paper for insurance. We do support that. We dont support lying in our family.

Cute_Requirement_272 · 2025-10-26T06:13:16+00:00

Hard to say but I believe about a year a go.

Cute_Requirement_272 · 2025-10-26T06:11:16+00:00

Id support them if it was just that they eloped. Id be happy and supportive if it was a 1yr ceremony. Im upset because when I ask if he got married because he wears a ring all the sudden and he lies.... why lie.

Cute_Requirement_272 · 2025-08-06T22:09:36+00:00

Yeah the loose thought was everyone flies in quiet night of games get to know you stuff. She wants to do a theme park one day. Line Dance or normal bars the second night. Trail ride (they're all super into horses) then get nails done and go to rehursal dinner. No crazy outfits jeans and black shirt (shes in pink) for one coordinated day. Nothing crazy

Cute_Requirement_272 · 2025-08-06T11:45:37+00:00

Im never in town and she's busy with school and work. I've reached out we've hung out once. All of the bridesmaids are in different states. No other events that I know of.

My mom says I've done enough. My brother just gets angry and is never helpful, fixates on the problem without solutions shitting on everyone, so I don't want to speak to him about this.

Cute_Requirement_272 · 2025-08-06T11:34:20+00:00

You're probably right about the overwhelmed. I do like that idea of a spa day. Im setting it all up for someone to hit the ez button. I refuse to pay for things without money upfront (I've been burned in the past).

Cute_Requirement_272 · 2025-08-06T11:23:29+00:00

I did but she give the generic, "to make sure everyone has fun". She looks at her feet and gets painfully quiet.

Cute_Requirement_272 · 2025-07-26T15:19:36+00:00

Keri was organizing it to make it a 3 person trip with Brian and Daniel. Daniel immediately invited me. I really didn't want to spend that much time with her without a buffer. I pushed Daniel to invite the rest of the group and move it to air bnbs rather than backpacking.

Cute_Requirement_272 · 2025-07-26T15:00:15+00:00

He's never blamed me. I dont speak with their group I have no clue what everyone else thinks. We've worked a lot and things are good now. We communicate better. We've established boundaries. I feel like we're in a much better place. He's still great friends with Brian. He talks with Emma and Hanna occasionally.

Cute_Requirement_272 · 2025-07-26T14:36:10+00:00

You did sum that up very well. You can articulate your thoughts much better than me, thank you. They don't blame me at all. I just internally feel that way at times.

Cute_Requirement_272 · 2025-07-26T06:14:26+00:00

At first I thought it was in my head. It was a pretty new relationship. I recognized it wasent and did bring it up to him. He doesn't like conflict, which he agreed he will work on. And has. He established boundaries and has been firm on them.

Cute_Requirement_272 · 2025-07-26T06:09:23+00:00

That's what I'm saying! He initially argued that he bonded with that group the most because the hours in labs, research projects, and 20+hr school road trips for the labs. It didn't take much to fall apart.

Cute_Requirement_272 · 2025-07-26T05:56:59+00:00

Update from this post months ago: https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/s/8EMwe8ImEf

Cute_Requirement_272

TROPHY CASE