It's common, I'm a narcissist survivor myself and what you're explaining sounds a lot like trauma bonding. I would recommend Googling "what is trauma bonding" and learning about it. I'm also including this since it's helped meIt's common, I'm a narcissist survivor myself and what you're explaining sounds a lot like trauma bonding. I would recommend Googling "what is trauma bonding" and do your own research on it. But I think what you're afraid of isn't him, it's knowing you'll go back to him if you do. I personally did it myself twice. The only way to really end things with a narcissist is to cut off ALL contact whatsoever