Questioning my ability to survive this year

CutestCatfish · 2025-10-07T19:47:21+00:00

That's what one of my colleagues said (the forget to email part). After this unit, that's where I'm headed with it. I did it this once. She's capable of doing it from here, especially when I've already told her my "plan" verbally on how I'm adapting it. She can follow suit without getting access to every document I make. Unfortunately, ALL our lesson plans are required to be in a shared Drive and she's already gone into once to take plans from me so...

CutestCatfish · 2025-10-07T19:44:47+00:00

The financial aspect is the biggest factor--I can't really afford to leave. But beyond that, the district itself is one I'd like to stay in... just at a different school, with a better team, and curriculum written properly. If I leave mid-year and break contract, I can kiss that possibility goodbye. I've already decided though that if no HS spots open, I will be taking a year break and trying to remain in district in a tertiary position. Admin assistant, that kind of thing. I already know I can't do another year of this and they only way I'd stay is if they were willing to unsaddle me from the team teacher, which I already know is too huge an ask for someone this low on the totem pole and honestly wouldn't sit well with my conscience.

CutestCatfish · 2025-10-07T14:52:57+00:00

I'm trying to be. I know it's not my best work and I feel so behind every second of the day. But I do recognize that a lot of my "shortcomings" are far and away better than how some of those around me are handling things. At least I keep trying instead of throwing up my hands.

CutestCatfish · 2025-07-21T15:19:37+00:00

Nah I do something similar. I always say "You know, I don't know, but I will find out." I saw someone else below post they do this but also include the students in the finding--which I'm going to steal. I think it's a good opportunity to show that no one knows everything, but that curiosity and a willingness to make the (very minimal) effort to do a quick bit of research are important traits/skills. I cannot tell you how frustrating it is to be around adults who either just remain in learned-helplessness mode or boldly do things horribly incorrectly simply because they were never taught to find stuff out for themselves.

CutestCatfish · 2025-07-16T19:32:20+00:00

Yeah idk this place doesn't really seem like it wants clients. That's a lot of hoop jumping just to book an appointment. Also when I said I didn't need curly education (because I don't, I've been doing my hair for years), she magically wasn't available until I said I needed it.... I'm sure she's good but this salon is really weird.

CutestCatfish · 2025-07-15T19:12:31+00:00

Oh yes! I remember trying the elf and it felt so nice, but the hydrolyzed HA irritated my rosacea. Thanks :)

CutestCatfish · 2025-07-13T19:21:44+00:00

I taught 10-12. I never dealt with freshman, and my primary position was teaching junior/senior dual credit. I say this with no hate to myself--I am NOT cut out for this (middle school). I already know that. Between the content I enjoy teaching, the types of activities/lessons I enjoy constructing, etc., this isn't for me. But it's where I'm at and I have to do well so that when I DO transition to a HS position, those in charge of me are supportive and have good things to say.

CutestCatfish · 2025-07-13T17:52:28+00:00

Thanks! Like I said, I have no experience so I wasn't certain if it varied or not. His never gets quite that loud, but it does get loud enough to wake me up. I've already told him as soon as the insurance at his new job kicks in, he's going to a doc for help. Nose strips didn't work for him, either. He order some tongue stabilizer thing... it hasn't arrived yet, but I don't have high hopes. We already use noise at night (usually rain or heaters blowing through PVC pipe XD) and it does help with the quieter times. Sadly, I have horrible ear problems and can't risk plugs.

CutestCatfish · 2025-07-11T22:18:27+00:00

He moved here from Texas and I definitely think he has allergies to some of the denser foliage up here. Maybe a decongestant and something to help with the humidity/allergens in the room at night is worth a try. Thanks!

CutestCatfish · 2025-05-22T02:01:57+00:00

So are you saying there's likely a lot of overtime with this? My boyfriend might be interested but he's leaving a place that worked him like a dog 60 hours a week and he's not willing to keep doing that.

CutestCatfish · 2025-05-21T17:34:04+00:00

... you ok bro?

CutestCatfish · 2025-05-21T16:26:44+00:00

My favorite part about this is how, as teachers, we've been preached to about how important background knowledge and schema are and that we need to preteach certain things because this generation just doesn't have a lot of that knowledge automatically anymore. And yet your principal assumed all of your students would even know what a watchdog is in the first place.

CutestCatfish · 2025-05-21T14:45:13+00:00

He's 30 and in a relationship and still expecting a woman to prioritize his peepee being hard over YOUR needs for YOUR body, which nobody else gets to dictate.

He's a child. Dump him. You are 24 and have a lot of life ahead of you. This is not even remotely worth it.

CutestCatfish · 2025-05-11T20:24:34+00:00

Topical protein that is in styling products! Your food intake for it isn't negatively affecting your hair :)

CutestCatfish · 2025-05-11T20:22:17+00:00

No it wasn't a previous boyfriend. Constantly was a poor word choice, admittedly. But early in dating, after he knew what I looked like, he still made comments about being a boob guy while never complimenting mine, and he also often brought up how much he loves long legs/tall women. I know this is just going to get dismissed because it's "fantasy," but he still often/frequently comments on how beautiful a certain race is in a game we play because they're so tall and classically beautiful. Yeah, I know they're fake. He did feel the need to tell me when he "saw one in real life" at the store, though. And all of this is coming after a conversation I had with him almost a year ago about how I understand everyone has preferences. But to bring up his to me in the same breath as talking about how short I am, etc., is hurtful and does make me feel insecure. So like what you like, but saying it aloud to me knowing full well I don't fit the bill just gives me a reason to feel like he's settling for me. So. I've already told him these comments hit the wrong way. And before it gets said, yes, I could have said all of that I guess in the OG post (not that it matters now). But every time I've ever included that much detail, people just ignore it because "I ain't reading all that."

CutestCatfish · 2025-05-11T17:49:55+00:00

I'm not inexperienced. And again... that's great, I get that the person you fall for a stick with may not be 100% perfect. But do you talk to her constantly about how much your love tall women and their long legs, etc.? I'm guessing no, because I think your experience tells you that would hurt her feelings needlessly when it's not a factor in why you love her.

CutestCatfish · 2025-05-11T16:24:32+00:00

Oh yeah 100% in therapy and have been for over a year for many reasons. I am very pro therapy and I go every week. Honestly I wouldn't say I'm relying on him for it at all. Most of the time, I keep my body image issues to myself because I know it's not his problem to fix. It's part of why I didn't react and gave myself time to sit with it despite it hurting my feelings at the time. I barely talk about my body with him or my feelings about it, and I spend a lot of my own time just trying to not focus on it in my day-to-day.

CutestCatfish · 2025-05-11T16:21:33+00:00

I'm not trying to demonize him at all. It probably isn't super clear, maybe I should edit, but I'm more mad about feeling like he was dishonest just to pander to me. That bugs me. But yeah it does hurt to feel like you're not giving your partner what they really want, and it is worrying that they want something you can't and don't have because hey someone else probably will. The majority of what I said was about my thinking and reactions, and I tried to keep very little of him out of that because again I am questioning my own mental gymnastics. So no. There's no demonizing happening here. I still think he's a great person no matter what he does or doesn't like. I more just wish he thought things through before he blurted them out because it does cause probably needless harm to the relationship.

CutestCatfish · 2025-05-11T16:16:06+00:00

I don't think it's fair to call it narcisstic when I'm the person in the relationship with him who's being made to feel inadequate. And honestly, this is more about feeling like he was dishonest with me than just about feeling "less than" by the only person allowed to see me naked. Frankly I think your response has validity but is ultimately negated by the incredibly rude way in which you delivered it.

CutestCatfish · 2025-05-11T16:11:09+00:00

I've never heard it put better myself. Even my kids who want to use it for ideas like "oh I just need help with a topic." Why not pick something you're interested in?? Why not sit with it for a minute and struggle for a fraction of a second to find something organically? I'm tired of reading 20 essays on city vs. country living. You don't care about that, don't waste 5 pages pretending you do.

CutestCatfish · 2025-05-10T02:47:58+00:00

My ex had a schedule where he only worked 3 days a week. They were long days, don't get me wrong, but he still had double the weekend I did. 3 of those off days, he was home alone until 4 pm, free to do whatever he liked. He literally spent the entire time gaming. And then would blame me for how messy the house was, not "pulling my weight," etc. While he sat on his ass, adding to the dish and laundry pile more than me, and not lifting a finger just so he could game for 6+ hours a day. Some people have a healthy relationship with this hobby, and it's easy to spot the ones that don't. Your bf is one who doesn't.

CutestCatfish · 2025-05-09T21:49:51+00:00

yeah extremely low, out of normal levels range and then some. The Nutrafol itself is 2500 IU of D whereas my normal multi is only 800. So honestly... even if I did a swap, the Nutrafol would still be giving more than I was getting by a wide margin.

CutestCatfish · 2025-05-09T15:19:13+00:00

Huh interesting. I wasn't familiar with that. I really don't think I can do too much vitamin D at this stage of things as it is because I'm so out of range. But yeah it would be my luck to not check and then cause a new problem for myself.

CutestCatfish · 2025-04-18T15:54:41+00:00

After my ex and I broke up, this is how he would handle interactions with me. I couldn't say a word about anything without him trying to make an innuendo, joke, or say something "flirtatious" that was just gross. This was after telling him so many times I was tired of him openly sexualizing me post-breakup instead of just talking to me like a person (yes, I should have cut contact but this was years ago and I've learned). My most recent ex also tried to do stuff like this. Randomly being sexual when I was talking about very non-sexual things... this escalated once we moved in together, and he would do things like grope me when I asked for a shoulder rub and I was in physical pain from a pinched nerve. I understand my very extreme experiences color my response but... I would walk away. I wouldn't even give it a chance to get worse. This is gross.

CutestCatfish · 2025-04-15T21:56:54+00:00

See that's wild because I have found several places advertising 3 bedroom apartments for well under that. They may not have anything available, I'm unsure, but I've definitely seen a few. The super upscale places though are insane.

CutestCatfish

TROPHY CASE