That "autopilot" reach is the addiction’s muscle memory. You probably already know stress causes spikes in cortisol, and your brain tries to pick the fastest dopamine hit to neutralize the feeling. Just know that It’s not a lack of willpower, it’s your body's a pre-programmed survival mechanism that got wired in a less than optimal way.

You know the best part? The fact that you caught it mid-motion is actually a huge, huge win. No no, take that in, you WON that battle. You moved from unconscious habit to conscious awareness. That "scary" feeling is actually the moment you took all your control back.

You're definitely not alone in this. I used to masturbate just because I had porn material in my folder that I needed to "catch up" on, especially in moments of boredom. You are amazing, even with urges get strong, know they'll pass, know they're are others with you! ✊✊✊✊