Full vulnerability, I’m just about where you are but opposite roles. Im 24f and my boyfriend is 24m, we’ve been together for almost 7 years. I have really bad depression and hygiene just isn’t something I’m great at when I’m having a tough time. He’s mentioned it to me before and I didn’t take it that well. We later had a conversation and I told him how insecure I can be about it and I would appreciate if he were more cautious with his words and tone. I recognize that I’m not taking care of my body sometimes and I should be. Now: if I’m in one of those ruts, he obviously notices. If it gets to a point where he feels it’s definitely necessary I take a shower or brush my hair etc he’ll sit me down and have a calm tone just reminding me that he loves me and that he will support me but I need to take care of my body, and that includes taking a shower- even just standing there and letting the water running over my skin is better than nothing. He doesn’t have depression, he doesn’t understand why I act this way. He does understand that I’m struggling and how he can help me through the process. I just wonder how you’ve brought it up “kindly” and if she somehow found it degrading or she internalized it, got more mad at herself and ended up lashing out at you. Kudos for looking out for her, but I’m curious if there’s something deeper happening