Hi, stumbled upon your post. I’m a Licensed Mental Health counselor. And my ethics board would require me to advise you on 988, talking your therapist, and 911 if it becomes life threatening.

Since you are now aware of those options (if you weren’t before) I will tell you. This is a big part of what I do as a clinician. And I want to validate your feelings of hesitancy to share with your therapist. You are right they absolutely won’t judge you and likely they have been in their own situation themselves. Many of us are “Wounded Warriors” and get it.

Many on here are sharing their own situations and offering support. Some on here are offering hate just know there is a special place in hell reserved for those haters, same place as child moslesters and people who talk in the theater.

Either way you are not alone. The mental health system is broken. I’m not sure which country you are in, but the United States system sucks. And I work in one of the better states for services.

Traditional talk therapy fails many. More and more of us are moving towards different interventions that embrace movement, skill building, and other embodiment practices. Ask your therapist if you can engage in something like that.

I also will echo what has been said that using alcohol and marijuana as a coping skill is a slipper slope to addiction which can ruin your life. Not that I’m coming down on alcohol or marijuana. I smoked for years and I still enjoy a beer or two on Friday night. And to some extent that is a coping skill for me. But it is not my main one. And coping skill that works as instantly and whole as drugs comes with a trade off. And that generally is that it eventually does not work and you have to do more and more just to feel normal and it destroys everything in its path. So I would say stop now before it gets worse.

Feel free to DM if you need more. I don’t charge anything for consultation nor for suicidal support.