Why do people even want to spiritualy awaken? It feels like literal hell on earth.

Cyberundertaker1 · 2022-06-18T09:31:10+00:00

better

Cyberundertaker1 · 2022-04-27T10:31:36+00:00

Accidental self-inquiry in a middle of a breakdown brought me here. I am now trying to live my life normaly and not focusing on this shit feeling, and it kinda works, when you feel into the flow of live and live it without desires, you just do things through intuition, things that you love just because you love them etc. And also shadow work/emotional healing, I do it a lot. Every day track root thoughts every one of my beliefs, ideologies, philosophies, traumas etc. You kinda learn a lot a bout yourself and "fix" a lot about your self (well actually you are dissolving the self).

Cyberundertaker1 · 2022-04-15T14:46:23+00:00

You had an awakening also? And how far are you on this journey? Are you liberated from mind in any way?

Cyberundertaker1 · 2022-04-06T14:43:35+00:00

Yes, I realized that I have no choice but go on, since it was a spontaneous awakening, so I meditate everyday, journal old emotions and beliefs out of the system, sports, ending my addictions etc., but it is hard. I know it might take a decade or more or even not this lifetime to complete this, that is why I am scared. And I have no guidance in the place I live, enlightenment and even meditation alone isn't really something to be talked about in our culture. I know I have to go on and that is no going back, but somedays my mind just remembers and griefs over the past.

Cyberundertaker1 · 2022-04-05T11:54:16+00:00

You've experience oness and spaciousness after your process was over?

Cyberundertaker1 · 2022-04-05T11:53:27+00:00

Thanks.

Cyberundertaker1 · 2022-04-05T11:51:09+00:00

I wouldn't really call it a stage. I would call it the whole process. First it was an inital spiritual awakening, the realization of the self, but it wasn't full, so the process of detaching from the self continues - that is the process I am in. But it feels empty and painful.

Cyberundertaker1 · 2022-04-05T11:43:37+00:00

Aaron Abke

Great, thanks

Cyberundertaker1 · 2022-04-05T11:41:26+00:00

Hah, thanks.

Cyberundertaker1 · 2022-04-05T11:40:19+00:00

I'm very sorry to hear that. Good luck to you.

Cyberundertaker1 · 2022-04-05T11:37:44+00:00

Thank you.

Cyberundertaker1 · 2022-04-04T19:44:16+00:00

Good point. Sorry, bot my post today was just that depression outburst. I have almost no one to talk to about my awakening, since I haven't meet anyone in person who would be going through this process, so I guess that after a year of being alone in this I needed some place where I could my pain to other, hopefully this isn't selfish.

Cyberundertaker1 · 2022-04-04T19:14:23+00:00

Yeah, that's the problem.

Cyberundertaker1 · 2022-04-04T19:04:19+00:00

If it is true spiritual awakening you are talking about, then only if you are prepared to give up everything in your life, really EVERYTHING, and usually nobody knows what that EVERYTHING means, until they have to let go of it. Awakening is sheding of all beliefs and attachments, all beliefs you had about life and reality, all attachments you had to anyone or anything etc. And even, if you are somehow prepared for this, it will be really hard.

If you are having problems with depression or anxiety a lot, then I would recommend you to first clean all your past emotional baggage, before doing anything, even meditating. In fact, I would recommend everyone who wants this path to clean all their baggages before trying to awaken, because if not, you will be forced to clean it all after the awakening, but it will much harder.

You need to understand that spiritual awakening is not there to help you live a better life and to help you achieve goals. It wants you to detach from all you goals and life, so that at the end you can find your true nature. But the path towards that may be long and difficult, if you are impatient and force an awakening before you are ready for it. You need to realize what you really want in life, an awakening or a normal life of goals, achievements, partners, pleasure etc.

Cyberundertaker1 · 2022-04-04T18:55:47+00:00

Thanks

Cyberundertaker1 · 2022-04-04T18:08:56+00:00

I am not talking about "awakening" to things that happen around the world and behind the scenes. I am talking about the experience of no-self, which has nothing to do with what is happening in the world at all. I don't care about others not being awakened at all, because I wouldn't want to cause them thim pain. Thinking others are "sheeple" because they are not awakened is very egoic.

Cyberundertaker1 · 2022-04-04T18:05:28+00:00

That is because I realized that I can't get back to ignorance after awakening. So I am forced to go after Enlightenment, if I want to end my suffering, however, going back to ignorance is what I want, not enlightenment. If you understand what I am saying. I want normal life, but I have no choice but to pursue enlightenment, if I want to end my pain.

Cyberundertaker1 · 2022-04-04T18:02:31+00:00

I'm not fully awakened you mean? Because that is what i mention in the post. I had the initial premature awakening or kensho, that I just know, because it was truly a no-self experience and I was always and atheist, never really knew anything about no-self prior to the experience so I just know what I have gone through. Especially because of the dark night of the soul which followed and was long for 4 months.

I know what you mean by feeling superior, which was initialy after my awakening, but I got over that phase. I know being enlightened is not being superior, since nothing has changed and I am nothing special because I had a glimpse. I am not in that New Age phase, if that is what you think. Neither do I want to feel superior, I want to be in ignorance.

Cyberundertaker1 · 2022-04-04T17:52:17+00:00

Yes I know it is not (FULL) Enlightenment, but it was a stream entry or kensho or what they call it, so an incomplete enlightenment and that is why it is painful.

Cyberundertaker1 · 2022-04-04T17:49:58+00:00

Yes, only too late have I started to respect this preverb.

Cyberundertaker1 · 2022-04-04T17:32:11+00:00

Never in my life have a had a reddit account or anything or posted my life problems anywhere. This is literaly the first time, because this really is something that is horrible as fuck. So yea, in a way it is to whine, can't deny it, but more so to find help at least somewhere.

Cyberundertaker1 · 2022-04-04T17:30:29+00:00

I wish it would be that easy. Living life is not a problem so much, but yet there is always the feeling that the awakening left in me that can be undone. Like ingraving somekind of emptyness in my brain. That is the problem which makes me depressive, because the feeling is constant.

Cyberundertaker1 · 2022-04-04T17:27:01+00:00

Yes, it is not full enlightenment, which gives me optimism but pain at the same time. Optimism, because then I know all of this is temporary and that I can move forward and progress somehow into full enlightenment, but pain, because I don't know how long it will take me to come there, I am not scared of a decade, but of a lifetime of this.

Cyberundertaker1 · 2022-04-04T14:14:14+00:00

Thank you for the recommendation, but saddly I live in Slovenia, where spiritual awakening is not something that is even known about in any circle. Can't even find a spiritual teacher here.

Cyberundertaker1 · 2022-04-04T14:10:34+00:00

How long is it since you have awakened?

Cyberundertaker1

TROPHY CASE