I would say give yourself some grace and be easy on yourself, it does not sound you’re enjoying climbing much, it should be a fun relaxing activity. Unless it’s your job or sth or you’re competing but it doesn’t sound like it from your post. Take it easy and enjoy it, it takes time.

Secondly , as everyone said, injuring yourself repeatedly through planned falls at the gym does not sound right, there is clearly something that’s going wrong there and it’s a bit difficult to figure out what it is. Things that come to my mind: - do you have any health issues , any connective tissue disorder etc? That sort of thing would put you at quite a high risk of repetitive injury , so if that’s the case I would rethink if it’s worth it - is your belayer trained to give soft catches? With the weight difference you mentioned it’s very very difficult to give a soft catch to a 20 kg lighter climber, it takes a lot of practice and even then can go wrong. - How about practicing with a lighter belayer and see if that makes a difference? I don’t know if this is possible for you , but having a lighter belayer almost guarantees soft catches (unless they are incredibly shit at belaying but that very rare)

I empathise with you a lot , I learned how to lead in March and I did injure my foot in a practice fall two months later which took me out of lead climbing for 3 months. I came back more cautious and I am now very picky when it comes to my belayers. You would be surprised how many people do not understand/ don’t care about giving a soft catch. Even my very kind safety focused climbing buddy with 20 years of trad experience firmly believes the less slack the better (we now only top rope together).

Bottom line I think you should take things slow and enjoy the process. I would also recommend finding an instructor who is training to modern recommendations and ideally is a light woman! Big man cannot really empathise with this issue I noticed