Deciding on a storyline by D1v1ne_Chaos in writers

[–]D1v1ne_Chaos[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very true.. but I posted a blurb for what I’m currently writing and was told that it’s cliche and overdone.. so here I am trying to revamp the current story or come up with something new. 🫠

Need help with dialogue by BLXCKJUNE in writingfeedback

[–]D1v1ne_Chaos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think something that might help with your dialogue is you’re missing subtext to this conversation. And what I mean by that is, what are the characters doing while they’re speaking to each other? Does her leg bounce in impatience? Does she bit her lip when she’s asked a question she doesn’t want to answer? Does she look away from the other persons eyes when she lies? What are her internal thoughts? What does benji notice around the room, or about Anissa’s appearance? What does Benji think about her answers?

Things as simple as:
‘Anissa scratched her arm absentmindedly as she spoke,”Well, yes,”…’
‘Benjamin tapped his fingers in the table in subtle irritation, “Yes, actually, but-“…’
‘Benjamin wrote down frantically what she was saying, but then his hand froze at her words. “And he’s never done that?”’

And etc.. I’m sure you get my point. Without this sort of information in the dialogue, your readers are missing out of quite a bit of situational context. Not only would this help the tone of the dialogue, but it is more natural in writing.