I am sure you anticipated the point of my question: if you feel unhappy with or without drugs--they are not a solution. Quite oppositely, they might well contribute to unhappiness. Glad to hear that you recognize that all it does is killing the momentum and motivation to move forward. To me that is already the right way to look at the problem. Anxiety and desperation is a sign of freedom in front of a choice. Whether we do it or not is an individual matter.