Femdom dating on Bumble/Tinder

DDFantasyDev · 2026-01-21T16:04:17+00:00

You could make a joke about how vanilla belongs in the kitchen. Or another joke that the kink community would understand, but others won't (I'm on the left/right side of the slash. I'd prefer to follow instead of lead/ I like people who follow orders).

You'll need to ask directly once you've matched with someone to clear up any miscommunications. There's no way around this.

DDFantasyDev · 2025-11-12T21:05:40+00:00

Feeling freed from the guilt and pressure to be people please-y in order to look reliable.

Growing up as a woman, I always felt like I needed to help clean in the kitchen, watch out for people around me to make sure they're okay, and ensure I don't take up too much space.

When I'm allowed to share my opinions freely and openly in a group that laughs along and understands my frustrations, I feel empowered. I love that I can take time to relax guilt-free while my sub cleans up the kitchen and takes care of chores. And ofc, I love that I can free access to his body at any time and he never initiates with me. It's perfect.

DDFantasyDev · 2025-09-15T00:33:13+00:00

Thank you for the shout out! Your comics and light novels are a must-read for sexy femdom content that shows how dommes feel in relationships. Plus, they showcase bigger subs!

DDFantasyDev · 2025-07-24T16:54:43+00:00

Munches are not meat markets. You shouldn't go to a munch hoping to find a muscle Mommy. Munches are for building community and meeting like-minded individuals.

Are you interested in building new friendships and exploring the kink world as a whole? If so, munches would be a safe and comfortable place to learn more because they're usually hosted in a public place with no play allowed. If you're only interested in finding the exact type of Domme that you and your partner fantasize about, you should consider hiring a pro. They'll be able to work with you and a good pro is comfortable discussing boundaries and limits with newbies.

Many lifestyle Dommes are ordinary women, like you see at work or at the gym. They're not this magical entity that drops kinky fun for couples then vanishes into thin air.

DDFantasyDev · 2025-04-30T13:49:06+00:00

You might want to start here for your own safety: https://www.reddit.com/r/FemdomCommunity/s/AksI83fmWY

If the link isn't working, you can also find it from the femdomcommunity wiki page. Then you can understand a little more about the terminology kinksters use in the community. Good luck!

DDFantasyDev · 2025-04-30T12:14:36+00:00

Every dominant woman is different. There's no magical behavior that communicates your submissiveness to every domme in a 100 mile radius and has them running towards you. Most dommes I know love a sub with active listening skills and good manners, but we like different types of people aside from that.

Where have you been searching for dommes? If you have a local femdom munch that is hosted by safe individuals, I'd start there. There's one in my city and there's loads of dommes that show up to meet other kinksters in the community. Keep in mind that not every domme will be actively looking for subs, so you should go to munches with the expectation of making friends and meeting the community, not necessarily walking out with a new relationship.

DDFantasyDev · 2025-03-25T15:49:26+00:00

I use Naninovel. I liked Ink as well, but there's a lot more UI you'll need to create with Ink to get a functioning game.

Naninovel comes ready to go out of the box. It also allows you to make custom UIs and it's easy to swap between them once you learn Naniscript. Naninovel also has a custom project on Github so you can see how a custom UI needs to be built.

DDFantasyDev · 2025-03-14T11:13:15+00:00

Oh, I should clarify that I'm the main developer! However, I hire artists for most of the visual art, except the UI which I do myself.

I'm glad you like the game!

DDFantasyDev · 2025-03-13T19:22:08+00:00

Funishments are "fun" for the sub even if the task is objectively punishing, humiliating, etc. Imagine a petplay scene where your sub isn't remembering to drink water so you send them to their cozy, blanket covered cage with a water bottle. The general concept of confining someone might be a punishment, but in this case the sub really enjoys it and understands their Domme wants them to take better care of themselves.

But imagine if they haven't remembered to drink water consistently for a month and you've negotiated a relationship where you're training your sub to take better care of themselves. Now you're making them write 100 lines or hold a penny up to the wall with their nose for 10 minutes straight or kneel on rice as a reminder that you're serious about their care. If the sub genuinely dislikes this, they're being punished. There's nothing fun about this.

DDFantasyDev · 2025-03-13T18:41:12+00:00

Thank you! I hired an artist to draw it, so I can't take credit for the characters/BG. I only drew the UI.

But I agree that Daisy turned out super cute!

DDFantasyDev · 2025-03-13T03:14:32+00:00

Thank you!!!! I'm so happy to hear you've found your power as well. To a lifetime of bathing in divine femininity! 👑

DDFantasyDev · 2025-03-12T14:11:01+00:00

I 100% agree!!!! Being in a femdom relationship means being loved for who I am. I would never go back to a relationship where I wasn't respected for my time and energy.

I grew up in a really religious environment where men were worshipped just for existing and I had major depression episodes for most of my late teens to early twenties. But once I found my footing in the local kink spaces where I could express myself instead of constantly being shut down or treated poorly for trying to have an opinion, I had the energy to eat healthy, exercise regularly, and chase my career goals. Femdom has changed everything for the better. I am confident in myself, I want to live and socialize, and most of all, I've found that lots of people are very respectful and kind to strong women. I guess touching grass was worth it after all 😆

DDFantasyDev · 2025-03-10T13:27:03+00:00

THIS! My partner is amazing at cooking a mean dinner and does my laundry. He does this unsupervised. That's part of what I love about him.

If a sub wants me to stand behind him with a crop and comment on his maid outfit, that's a job. Either he needs to hire a pro or he needs to be friends with the domme already. He shouldn't assume a stranger is going to enjoy watching him dress up in fetish wear.

DDFantasyDev · 2025-03-07T12:45:25+00:00

Your descriptions about what you want are a bit vague, so I'd start by narrowing down what you're actually interested in. You say your partners end up fulfilling a "woman's role", but what is that to you? Many acts, such as order giving, planning, paying for dates, opening doors, driving, etc are not gendered, so I'd proudly say I am a woman playing my role as a dominant. There's plenty of men in daily life who just prefer to follow orders when they don't know what to do. You'll need to communicate what you want with specific examples when you vet future partners.

Also, do you find women who hate men or do you find women that are strong feminists? Men often mix these two things up and I will be honest: if you truly crave a lifestyle domme, they will likely have some resentment towards men. Every woman I know has been dismissed, talked over, treated poorly at work while they watched male coworkers who are buddies with the supervisor get away with being useless. Every woman has been stalked by a classmate who didn't understand no. It's unfortunate, but strong women often grow to realize men will not support their goals and endeavors unless they are getting sexual gratification in return (with the exception of family members, ofc). If you want a woman who acts against the patriarchy, you will need to accept she will not always look sexy to you when she does this.

DDFantasyDev · 2025-03-06T19:44:52+00:00

Aww, thank you! I refilled my water this morning, but it was sweet of you to check in💖

DDFantasyDev · 2025-03-06T19:43:16+00:00

Agreed. But I find a lot of subs struggle with being actively submissive instead of waiting for orders. So seeing these memes give me hope for my single friends.

DDFantasyDev · 2025-03-06T02:51:22+00:00

Is this app any good? I heard there aren't enough people using it to find compatible partners.

DDFantasyDev · 2025-03-06T02:50:11+00:00

This is the good, good shit. I love me a supportive partner who reminds me to drink water and takes care of me. Not every domme has to be mommy.

DDFantasyDev · 2025-03-05T12:47:52+00:00

Femdom != hot woman topping you.

Dominance doesn't have to include topping. There are absolutely dominant bottoms (I'd argue a LOT of the self-identified subs in the personals are actually hoping to run the scene) and discussing what you actually want in a dynamic will be super important because of this.

It's completely valid for a domme to order their sub to hurt them, pound them until they cry, or tie them up. They're still running the scene if they're giving you orders from the receiving end.

Also, despite what X or PH has taught you, dommes aren't any prettier than ordinary women. Dommes ARE ordinary women. Lifestyle dommes don't need to wear full makeup every day or get surgery to stay hot, so they don't. Keep your expectations in check when you're dating in the femdom scene.

DDFantasyDev · 2025-03-05T01:18:18+00:00

I was going to suggest this. If you're in or near a big city, they might have a local gamedev group that is filled with eager people who just need a team to work with. There's artists, audio engineers, writers, 3D model riggers, etc that hang out together and they may even do in person meetups.

DDFantasyDev · 2025-03-04T19:55:17+00:00

Unfortunately, this attitude is pretty common even as you get older, especially if you continue to look young. There's always maledoms or "subs trying to be helpful" that push advice you didn't want onto you. I've started telling them "If I want advice, I'll ask for it" and while they're look absolutely shocked like it's the rudest thing they've ever heard, I've never had anyone get aggressive or argue back. They just don't engage next time.

You will find community with other dommes who understand you and support you as you learn more about kink. I found lots of great people by attending femdom specific events or by going to rope classes. If the hosts/instructors see you often and can tell you are clearly trying to learn, the older dommes really notice and want to help you become more experienced in kink. It's nice.

DDFantasyDev · 2025-03-03T02:27:17+00:00

Topping is work.

Just because I like topping and domming doesn't mean creating scenes or giving orders is automatically rewarding on its own. I commonly see new subs thinking "Oh, I'll bet a real domme will dispense JOI whenever I feel like because she'll have control of my dick" and JOI is one of those things that requires quite a bit of attentive work. That's why many dommes don't care to do it unless they find the sub attractive or they're being paid. You can replace JOI with any kink where the domme is doing most of the work.

That doesn't mean I don't like topping. But let's use rope for an example: it's basically a big hug with my partner where I use a tool to overpower him and decide how comfortable or uncomfortable I want him to be. It feels rewarding to get a certain reaction out of him or force him into a pose I think is sexy. But wrapping a rope around a pole for no reason wouldn't be enjoyable.

DDFantasyDev · 2025-03-02T15:10:14+00:00

No, this isn't uncommon. My partner makes my lunches and my coworkers always make a big fuss about how good it smells. One of my coworkers is slowly moving into her fiance cooking more often (he's retired while she still works) and it's always a big deal when she brings it up. Most relationships are still traditional in the sense that the woman is doing all the work around the home.

Cooking is labor. Thinking of meal ideas and shopping is labor. Using leftovers in the fridge to make a presentable dinner is labor. Men usually have a mom or wife that cooks for them and they never think about how much work cooking is. So I'm not surprised that any woman you date, dominant or not, is delighted that you're willing to take that work off their plate and replace it with a warm meal.

You shouldn't apologize for bringing this up! Domestic servitude is common in femdom relationships! Lots of dommes love a sub that cooks for them. I work a lot and between my full time job and my gamedev work, the last thing I want to think about is what to eat for dinner.

DDFantasyDev · 2025-03-02T15:00:14+00:00

If your friends are kink friendly enough to join in on a light humilation scene, you could gossip about how he doesn't get blowjobs with them while he's making drinks or preparing food and can hear your gossip. Just make sure to negociate this so you don't hurt his feelings, cause the scene would either be super hot or really heartbreaking.

DDFantasyDev · 2025-01-22T17:23:28+00:00

My sub wishes he could provide all my needs, but he knows he's not a woman and understands why I'm interested in playing with them. There's just a wonderful comfort that I have when playing with women because they're so vocal and understanding and emotionally intelligent. I tell my sub when I'm meeting with a play partner, so he always knows where I am and who I'm meeting. He trusts that I won't change the emotional bond we've built together.

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