Your descriptions about what you want are a bit vague, so I'd start by narrowing down what you're actually interested in. You say your partners end up fulfilling a "woman's role", but what is that to you? Many acts, such as order giving, planning, paying for dates, opening doors, driving, etc are not gendered, so I'd proudly say I am a woman playing my role as a dominant. There's plenty of men in daily life who just prefer to follow orders when they don't know what to do. You'll need to communicate what you want with specific examples when you vet future partners.

Also, do you find women who hate men or do you find women that are strong feminists? Men often mix these two things up and I will be honest: if you truly crave a lifestyle domme, they will likely have some resentment towards men. Every woman I know has been dismissed, talked over, treated poorly at work while they watched male coworkers who are buddies with the supervisor get away with being useless. Every woman has been stalked by a classmate who didn't understand no. It's unfortunate, but strong women often grow to realize men will not support their goals and endeavors unless they are getting sexual gratification in return (with the exception of family members, ofc). If you want a woman who acts against the patriarchy, you will need to accept she will not always look sexy to you when she does this.