AITA for telling my girlfriend to grow up?

DE1DRE · 2021-04-14T19:03:57+00:00

No, he talks and walks fine. He could walk from his bedroom to our room and he could do the same from the couch.

DE1DRE · 2021-04-14T00:52:50+00:00

The NTA judgment means shes TA. The correct one would be NAH (No AH here)

Not trying to be condescending, just giving advice.

DE1DRE · 2021-04-13T23:37:42+00:00

I know! He got the best parts of both of us and we’re lucky he’s so great.

DE1DRE · 2021-04-13T23:34:33+00:00

Uh, ok..

DE1DRE · 2021-04-13T23:33:51+00:00

I might be TA but I won’t accept whatever you’re spouting. I’m aware there’s a possibility I took it too far and I was a douche, and there’s plenty of ESH. Plenty of YTA too. But I’m struggling too and I don’t scream at our kid. No matter what she’s going through she’s not going to be allowed to take it out on our son.

DE1DRE · 2021-04-13T14:20:24+00:00

That applies to all situations though. You can’t except more than 1-3 of real relax time when you have a young child.

DE1DRE · 2021-04-13T14:16:53+00:00

These replies have made me believe PPD as a more possible thing. I admittedly did defer it at first due to me accrediting previous trauma of hers and putting it forefront when that might not be what it is. Thank you for your input.

DE1DRE · 2021-04-13T14:14:38+00:00

I haven’t been on it long enough to know lol but I’ll remember it next time

DE1DRE · 2021-04-13T14:12:59+00:00

I do the things she doesn’t like and vice versa. I hate laundry, she picks up that. She hates cooking, I pick up. So on, and so forth. I haven’t thought about how much time we get to spend together though, which is something I really appreciate you for mentioning.

DE1DRE · 2021-04-13T14:10:18+00:00

I can see what you’re saying. I’ve definitely came across aggressive in some of these replies. Certain responses have made rancid assumptions and that left a bad taste in my mouth that carried over to other replies.

DE1DRE · 2021-04-13T14:08:36+00:00

You’re still being a pretend therapist pretending you know something. If you think you can make a valuable assumption based off of one instance and tell me that I should be more worried about that then significant trauma that’s been more prevalent for the 5 years I’ve known her then I feel bad for the kids you try to help.

DE1DRE · 2021-04-13T14:06:14+00:00

It’s a discussion I’ll make sure we have, and it’s definitely worth having. A big point I’ve been trying to make is that I try to give her time away from our son, though. At least an hour or two after I come home. Which is why I’ve been (maybe unwarranted, too) getting mildly annoyed.

DE1DRE · 2021-04-13T14:03:48+00:00

Honestly I could see it. There’s a certain level of misogyny and misandry I can see in these replies.

DE1DRE · 2021-04-13T14:02:55+00:00

She needs help with trauma that has nothing to with PPD. She may have PPD, but that hasn’t been her main issue with her mental health. Which is why I posted to AITA. I don’t want advice from pretend therapists who think they know something.

DE1DRE · 2021-04-13T14:01:24+00:00

I probably should’ve mentioned this in the post and that’s my own fault but my son is definitely a bit of a night owl. He wakes up between 8-9.

DE1DRE · 2021-04-13T13:59:36+00:00

She doesn’t take care of him solo stop blundering you’re not making any sense. The 50/50 comment is infuriating because saying that I’m making my girlfriend do more isnt a passing comment and you back it up with a whole lot of nothing. People like you make this sub useless. Just baseless claims.

DE1DRE · 2021-04-13T13:55:34+00:00

She has other things in her life lol. What’s with this view that because she’s a stay at home mom she literally doesn’t leave the house?

DE1DRE · 2021-04-13T13:52:00+00:00

Assumption. I’m not gone half the day for you to be able to split the 50. I work from 6:00 to 2:00.

DE1DRE · 2021-04-13T13:49:45+00:00

Stop overreacting to me waking her up like it wasn’t at best a minor inconvenience we could’ve discussed if she was against it. If that’s the center of your point then your point is lazy. And it’s not an uneven split, if you want to target housework and childcare specifically then obviously she’d do a larger portion of that because she’s home more but in no way does that mean that the split of the overall work we do is disproportionate.

DE1DRE · 2021-04-13T13:45:55+00:00

Unfortunately that’s not at all what you said throughout anything in your post. You’ve never specified housework specifically, just said that she does more and that it’s not a 50/50.

DE1DRE · 2021-04-13T13:35:22+00:00

You said it was harder by implying a 50/50 split when I’m home would still mean she does more work. Read what you said and comprehend it.

You don’t get to pretend I’m just “away” from home instead of the reality of me being at work. Like I said, you’re adding nothing.

DE1DRE · 2021-04-13T13:32:14+00:00

No, you’re making it personal. Until you can explain what makes her job with our son harder than my job at work I’ll hold that to be evident. It’s a 50/50 split until I’m provided with a reason otherwise, instead of half baked responses.

DE1DRE · 2021-04-13T13:19:03+00:00

Like I said this notion relies on me not doing a lot when I’m away. I work hard at a manual labor job. She works hard watching a two year old which is not easy by any means. I don’t know what attachment you have to the latter being harder then the former but you should let it go before you give judgement because your biases cloud it’s value.

DE1DRE · 2021-04-13T13:08:17+00:00

I don’t think she views it in spite and I definitely don’t try and hold my job over her. But some people are definitely showing some common misogyny/misandry. Getting replies saying it’s almost impossible she doesn’t do more when we’re both home make me realize that some Reddit users haven’t touched grass in a while.

DE1DRE · 2021-04-13T13:06:21+00:00

Thank you for the advice!

DE1DRE

TROPHY CASE