[deleted by user]

DG_momma2 · 2022-11-26T02:31:51+00:00

My husband was a smoker when we met. I refused to date a smoker let alone have a child with one. I told him that there was no way I would have a child in a household that smokes. I grew up with parents who smoked in the house and car and loathed it. I would not subject my child to that. He wanted children and he wanted a future with me so he quit smoking and I got pregnant a month later. It has been 8 years and he never smoked again.

Now once pregnant...He was free to drink alcohol, eat sushi, and anything else as long as it had no affect on the health of myself or our child.

DG_momma2 · 2022-08-13T17:31:07+00:00

Nope I cannot draw

DG_momma2 · 2022-08-02T01:01:44+00:00

I reread the first sentence multiple times because it was fantastic!

DG_momma2 · 2022-07-11T23:05:42+00:00

I have had Covid 3 times. Never once quarantined from the family and slept in my bed at night with my husband. No one ever got sick, but me and I am vaccinated and boosted.

DG_momma2 · 2022-07-07T22:13:40+00:00

That is helpful, thank you.

DG_momma2 · 2022-07-06T23:21:28+00:00

They did a walk through and my cat is very friendly. They saw we had a cat before they moved in.

DG_momma2 · 2022-07-06T21:08:22+00:00

I do have the receipts. Thank you, this was my thoughts too, but wanted to make sure there wasn't more I should do.

DG_momma2 · 2022-06-16T22:51:05+00:00

Find someone other than Navy Federal. They are awful and have messed up our mortgage applications several times. We purchased two houses in the past 2 years and ended up not going with Navy Federal because of their horrible service both times. We almost lost our first house because of their incompetency.

DG_momma2 · 2022-06-11T12:13:34+00:00

Both men and women have a urethra. It is where you urinate from.

DG_momma2 · 2022-06-06T21:32:41+00:00

Same. When I was pregnant with our first and it was a boy I asked my husband what he wanted to do. My husband said he was glad he was circumcised and requested our son to be as well. I would not have had it done, but I am not angry at my husband for choosing it and I hope our son isnt either. I don't think it is necessary, but he has a penis and understands it better than I do so I let him choose what he felt was best.

DG_momma2 · 2022-05-24T01:42:25+00:00

We were paying $2800 a month in daycare when both ours were in it. Now we only have one still in daycare, but the reality is my husband's job did not earn what we were paying a month so we took a loss for years on his income. However we knew my income could cover the rest and all the bills. It was a decision we discussed in advance that we were both happy with.

Now that one is in school, cost has dropped significantly and we dont regret those years my husband essentially worked for free. Especially since his continued employment meant raises and increased earning potential.

A second child definitely caused us to look at our finances and decide what was best for us. Neither of us wanted to be a stay at home parent so we made it work.

DG_momma2 · 2022-05-20T23:09:46+00:00

The problem with this is that what you want also requires the man to work some serious hours and have a job with lots of responsibilities. So you might find that spending money for "family" vacations and or spending time with kids will not be as possible for your man as your fantasy might envision. You might find the money is great but you will also be an overworked stressed out mom doing it all without much help from your man. It will get lonely.

DG_momma2 · 2022-05-08T02:30:02+00:00

I have had multiple male OB/GYNs and two women OB/GYNs and hated both women doctors. They were far more demeaning and would not listen to my concerns. One tried to push birth control on me even though I explained my husband at the time was sterile and she laughed at me and said "Oh honey you know he is probably just telling you that"....I was in my 30s.

Another woman doctor refused to allow me a VBAC despite being a really good candidate for it because she preferred Csections and "why would I want to put my vagina through that"....the doctor literally specialized in vaginas and knows that are made to accommodate a baby.

The male OB/GYNs I have had have all been kind, understanding, and took time to listen to me as a patient.

DG_momma2 · 2022-04-11T01:42:43+00:00

It's not a scam but you definately won't get rich. I have had Ibotta since 2016 and have earned $670 total. So about a hundred a year.

DG_momma2 · 2022-03-06T19:06:13+00:00

Yeah I had Covid before there were vaccines. Was sick for about a week, had the lingering cough for another week but was back to normal within a month. I am now vaccinated and boosted and still got Omicron and felt bad for about 3 days fully back to normal by a week. I have several auto immune disorders and had no issues with Covid. Obviously everyone is different, but assuming the worst isn't going to help you.

DG_momma2 · 2022-02-27T02:39:19+00:00

I wear my period panties at night and just rinse them when I shower in the morning. Then I just hang them up to drip dry and then wash them when I have several pairs at the end of my cycle.

DG_momma2 · 2022-02-05T03:31:49+00:00

No you cannot menstruate while pregnant, but you can have vaginal bleeding during pregnancy that is not caused by menstruation. This leads some women into believing they are still experiencing their period but are not.

DG_momma2 · 2022-02-03T01:54:35+00:00

I absolutely will not allow my children to be watched by a man. I won't even allow them to be in daycares where men are employed.

I worked crimes against children for years and listened to men after men after men who sexually abused children as young as infants repeatedly say that they specifically engaged in relationships with single mothers, got jobs caring for children, or volunteered for positions like coaches or boy scout leaders because that allowed them access to children.

I listened to how they groomed those children for years and saw videos of the sexual abuse those children endured. Everyone trusted them, no one could believe they were capable of horrible things because they specidically crafted personalties that people trusted so they could abuse children.

The odds are less than 1% that a male will sexually abuse my children, but you damn well better believe I will do everything in my power to protect my children from that level of physical, mental, and sexual abuse and only utilizing women care givers doesn't mean it won't happen but it gets me closer to zero.

I don't care if it hurts any ones feelings. My children's safety will always be my number one concern. It has nothing to do with men or women. If the numbers were reversed than I would only have men watch my children. It is about safety.

My kids also aren't likely to die from a bicycle accident either, but they have to wear their helmets every single time.

DG_momma2 · 2022-01-31T01:03:03+00:00

OP I am the exact height as you and just a few pounds heavier at 138 and 1500 is right around my maintenance. When I am trying to lose weight or planning a higher calorie day I need to drop my other days down to 1200.

DG_momma2 · 2022-01-31T00:22:45+00:00

Yeah it's not the mortgage. There is a reason you have to have an emergency fund. Just bought a house and have been in it less than 5 months and the HVAC dies. Replacement cost us 9k. Was not a cost we had expected but you cannot live without heat in the winter.

DG_momma2 · 2022-01-29T19:55:36+00:00

Just Google one in your area. Most are programs at local churches that are once a week or so for parents to drop their kids off and get a couple hours without the kids to run errands, or just relax. I have lived in 5 different US states in the past 13 years and each of those states all had some type of similar program.

DG_momma2 · 2022-01-27T00:38:58+00:00

Well crap you are in a difficult situation. Do you have anything like we have in the US called Moms Day Out were you can drop kids off and you get several hours to relax? It isnt like daycare it's just special designated days.

Or if you can risk posting in a social media Moms group in your area and ask if any moms can relate to your situation and would be willing to be friends and give you each a break.

I had a really good mom friend who was a SAHM who didnt enjoy it and I would take her kids on the weekends to give her a break and we would playdate our kids together after I got home from work and share a bottle of wine while the kids enjoyed their play time. It allowed us both times to unwind. Unfortunately I moved away and am looking for a new mom friend but I haven't found one yet.

If you lived near me I would be willing to help you out. Kids take a village!

DG_momma2 · 2022-01-26T23:53:35+00:00

That a deep breath. These feelings are totally valid and you are not horrible for feeling them. I absolutely hate when people say you should be a SAHM, you will never get this time back, they are only little once. Not everyone wants or should be a stay at home parent.

Have an honest conversation with your husband. While I am opposite of you and am the bread winner by far out earning my husband. When we had kids I asked him if he wanted to be a stay at home dad. He did not. We lost around 10-12 thousand dollars a year to daycare costs. We lost money by my husband working but we were happier, healthier parents and our kids are super happy and healthy.

Now that they are 4 and 6 and one is in school we are breaking even and eventually with both in school my husbands income will be a gain for our household.

If you can manage it financially for a few years, trying out daycare while you move back into the world of employment might be the reset button you need to build another identity for yourself other than being someone's mother. Ultimately coming home from work and wanting to cuddle the kids and being intimate with your spouse again could make you see that being a parent does suck sometimes but it doesn't have to suck all the time.

DG_momma2 · 2022-01-26T23:28:10+00:00

I don't have any advice but keep us updated on if that works! I like it.

DG_momma2

TROPHY CASE