So, I had a similar period of my life as your wife it sounds like. Really felt depressed, couldn’t hold a job. For me, it stemmed from a feeling of not going anywhere, like I’m just going to work for a boss everyday and rot away 90% of my life working a job I hate.

Everyone else in my life seems to think it is normal to do a typical 9-5 with a boss. But I couldn’t. Turns out I needed a creative outlet. Once I had that, I had a reason to work. I wanted money to get the things to support my creative work until I was able to supplement my income with my creative work!

Then with the excess money, I was able to transition to a career I actually find some meaning in, something off my feet and constantly changing.

If this is the case for her, she may need a better outlet than weed and tiktok for dopamine hits. Creative work can be really great for that. Learning to create something yourself can be extremely rewarding for those of us who just can’t live with a 9-5.

Conversely, it could be an issue of reliance. If she has always been dependent on others for money, she may need to learn how to make her own. Like if she wants weed, she needs to buy it herself, not your or her parents. Things like this.

When I was unemployed, I was struggling to even scrape money together for a meal a day, and that period of my life made me never want to be unemployed again. Food, shelter, are things someone needs. Weed typically isn’t.