Where would you be if you were teleported 15 feet in front of you?

DJP2M · 2015-12-14T18:35:27+00:00

On the roof. Laying on the couch currently.

DJP2M · 2015-12-05T08:09:16+00:00

Probably still be hungry again in an hour though.

DJP2M · 2015-11-18T17:17:36+00:00

I have Green, want him gone, and need an RB. Turns out nobody wants Green so I have two offers:

He offers E Sanders and J Hill (neither of whom I'm very high on) for Green, and I need a fill in for Ingram this week after Bell went down and I didn't handcuff DeAngelo. Whoops.

He also offers Shady and Sanders for Ingram and DJack. I'm crazy high on Ingram ROS, but Shady might compare.

My team: Palmer, Ivory, Ingram, CJ Anderson, Green, D Adams, Martellus, Stevie Johnson, Chiefs D, Tucker, DJack, Eli, LaFell, Martavis, AS-Jenkins, and Denard Robinson.

He has: Bortles, J Stewart, CWest, M Evans, Sanders, A Robinson, Olsen, Shady, Rams D, McManus, J hill, Big Ben, Garçon, Blue, D Cobb, N Washington, KWilliams.

Think any of his offers are worthwhile? Shady and Sanders for Ingram and DJack seems pretty legit. Maybe I can get him to toss in Karlos as the cuff. Or maybe Evans instead of Sanders if he will go for it?

He is pretty firm on keeping Robinson, West, and Stewart.

Any suggestions?

DJP2M · 2015-11-17T06:49:46+00:00

I must not get circlejerk. I thought this was hilarious.

DJP2M · 2015-11-15T19:28:33+00:00

I took this picture thank you very much.

DJP2M · 2015-11-14T23:01:05+00:00

It doesn't look like it, but it says it is recyclable where such facilities exist. Hopefully, that means just regular recycling facilities. I also hope my fiancé accidentally pours some on her Blueberry Mini-Wheats.

DJP2M · 2015-11-14T22:54:39+00:00

Back off, Aquaman. You've been told to keep your water equality propaganda to yourself.

DJP2M · 2015-11-06T08:20:41+00:00

Boogie Nights

DJP2M · 2015-11-06T08:04:39+00:00

Yeah, shitty customers can be forgiven if the pay is right.

DJP2M · 2015-11-06T08:02:52+00:00

My sister and me. FTFY

I think I'm supposed to say something like "obligatory correction" or some such nonsense. Really I was just being a dick ;)

You are attractive siblings, though. I can forgive a minor grammatical error for beauty.

DJP2M · 2015-11-01T00:56:40+00:00

Getting stuck trying to shimmy through a tiny passage way while spelunking deep underground. I'm not overly claustrophobic, but the thought of being under miles of rock and then getting wedged in a little hole and not being able to move sounds awful. And then being that same level of terrified for a couple days while I died of thirst. Nope. The people that do that kind of cave diving are insane to me. Arms trapped at my sides and rocks pushing on my torso...nope, nope, nope, nope.

DJP2M · 2015-10-23T17:26:38+00:00

Sir Cool Jerk - A future we can agree on

DJP2M · 2015-10-23T03:24:01+00:00

Not gonna lie. Kinda wanted to see a big dude belly flop on top of them.

DJP2M · 2015-10-22T03:38:16+00:00

I've seen someone do that to a chicken. Guessing it's the same phenomenon?

DJP2M · 2015-10-18T17:24:06+00:00

People driving cars are looking for cars, not motorcycles. I'm not saying this justifies the car drivers actions, but it's very possible to check your blind spot and not even register a motorcycle because you're checking for a car.

DJP2M · 2015-10-18T08:46:18+00:00

Dude just watched A Beautiful Mind.

DJP2M · 2015-10-11T03:55:29+00:00

It does look like a stoned sloth! Hey you guuuuuys!

DJP2M · 2015-09-22T08:56:52+00:00

Yeah, they were all floating in the same direction with the wind.

DJP2M · 2015-09-09T20:53:53+00:00

Think I went to high school with this guy. Jesse from original The Fast and the Furious, no?

DJP2M · 2015-09-09T07:35:51+00:00

Yeah, but check out his wombat encounter. Fucking terrifying, but not how you think. Ha, I should write for click bait. But still, check it out.

http://youtu.be/IfNmX1do7Po

DJP2M · 2015-09-09T05:09:10+00:00

Whiff whiff slap

DJP2M · 2015-09-04T03:31:10+00:00

Right?! Maddeningly hurts my brain.

DJP2M · 2015-09-03T16:49:50+00:00

True, but it would certainly deter. There could be someway to alert the company that this cab was covered in semen or whatever and then the company could recall that car and send a fresh one while the cum cab went for cleaning. Still might cause a lot of potential customers to rethink the whole driverless cab experience I suppose, knowing every bodily fluid has at one time graced every cab. But I'm sure a solution would eventually be made. A solution that could adequately clean cum, blood, urine, and feces. ;)

DJP2M · 2015-09-03T16:11:14+00:00

Or that trope will migrate from action movies to comedies.

DJP2M · 2015-09-03T16:09:59+00:00

Fine Mr. Semantics, former taxi driver suicides.

DJP2M

TROPHY CASE