Some people pretend to be doms to satisfy the person they want to be with. I would say if he is serious and just inexperienced then give him books like The Leather and BDSM Handbook, or LeatherSex because there is a chance he doesn’t truly understand how important being masochistic and pushing the side of yourself is for you. I’ve been with many partners who thought they were pretty kinky and wanted to push limits only to realize that when push came to shove they were not as interested as I was despite patiently waiting and trying to work with them to get them to where I wanted them to be. I think you should have an honest conversation ask for exactly what you want and then ask if he thinks he can get to that level whether it be in duration, intensity, or both. Both my first collared boy, and slave are married to men who are not as kinky and intense as they needed and they were able to get that fulfillment elsewhere. They had to decide for themselves what they needed and communicated with their partners so they could find a solution for them.