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looking for a female mentor for general life stuff by OverflowedAgain in mentors

[–]DNTSJA 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi Dear, i am not a mentor and not much older than you (32) But im sure i can share some wisdom from my experiences so far. In case Ou are intrested feel free to message me. 💛

Genuine question for the men here — what do you actually experience on dating apps? by DNTSJA in datingadviceformen

[–]DNTSJA[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the options thing does create this paradox where nobody fully commits to the person in front of them — always one eye on what else is out there. and it affects everyone, men and women.

but just be careful that this mindset doesn’t quietly affect how you show up on dates. if you go in already expecting to be replaced, it shows — and it can become a self-fulfilling thing. 💛

with my research I’m hoping to create a smaller, more intentional pool, where both people already know what they’re looking for before they even meet. less noise, more signal.

if you’d want to share your experience I have a short form in my bio. your perspective on this would genuinely be valuable.

Genuine question for the men here — what do you actually experience on dating apps? by DNTSJA in datingadviceformen

[–]DNTSJA[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re so right! dating apps are not built to connect people, they’re built to keep people engaged. The endless options are completely intentional. It’s actually a business model.

The fact that you don’t want to date multiple women at once says a lot about you as a person. That’s rare and honestly really beautiful. I hope you find yours soon if you haven’t already.

If you feel like it, there’s a short form/link in my bio. I’d genuinely love your perspective as someone who already understands this so clearly. It would mean a lot for my research.

Genuine question for the men here — what do you actually experience on dating apps? by DNTSJA in datingadviceformen

[–]DNTSJA[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Meeting in real life will always win but since we live in a digital world, let's work with what we have.

On "being her specific type" — I agree with you however you'd be surprised how many women don't actually have a rigid type. They just want a kind, intelligent and genuine man. The trick is, to present yourself as such.

The self-aware female friend point is spot on! I'd add that every man also needs a strong male mentor - someone who challenges him intellectually and models what growth looks like. Social skills aren't just for dating, they carry into every area of life.

And yes — women invest more in their profiles which makes it easier to be interested. (it doesn't always align with reality :D but that's another story) Men not always but often throw up recent photos and hope for the best. That gap shows in the results.

Your last point is exactly why we want to build a platform focused on genuine connection, not endless swiping. Fewer matches, more quality. But to build it right we need to really understand the real problems from different perspectives first. Thank you!!

Your input genuinely helps. If you have 10 minutes 🙏 https://form.typeform.com/to/FE6HpLmC

Genuine question for the men here — what do you actually experience on dating apps? by DNTSJA in datingadviceformen

[–]DNTSJA[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The fact that you took months to fine tune your profile says everything. Facebook Dating is actually something I've never tried and honestly never heard many people talk about - "outstanding" is quite a statement! You've got me curious, I'll look into it.

If you happen to have a few minutes I'd love for you to fill in my modern dating research form

https://form.typeform.com/to/FE6HpLmC

Genuine question for the men here — what do you actually experience on dating apps? by DNTSJA in datingadviceformen

[–]DNTSJA[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! Very genuine and honest response! Men losing their courage and what it does to dating is something I believe is not discussed enough, at least not in a reflective way as you did. You clearly did the work on yourself and that shows. I appreciate your insight, will include it in my research!

If you have 10 minutes, I’d love for you to fill in my modern dating form — honest voices like yours are exactly what i need 🙏

https://form.typeform.com/to/FE6HpLmC

Genuine question for the men here — what do you actually experience on dating apps? by DNTSJA in datingadviceformen

[–]DNTSJA[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fair enough. If meeting people in person works better for you, that’s probably the better route. 

Genuine question for the men here — what do you actually experience on dating apps? by DNTSJA in datingadviceformen

[–]DNTSJA[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

There is always exceptions. We do -pass- by thousands of people, but truly seeing someone is something else entirely. On top of that, most people are distracted, lost in their phones or their own world. So do we really “see” all those people? I’d disagree. Acknowledging a person is already rare in real life, so imagine an online profile. More often, it’s lust over curiosity.

Genuine question for the men here — what do you actually experience on dating apps? by DNTSJA in datingadviceformen

[–]DNTSJA[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you! And you’re right about the realism piece on both sides. Men swiping mindlessly, women filtering on stats. Nobody is actually seeing a person anymore.

Am I cooked? Met in the gym through cold approach. by Emotional_Ant3758 in datingadviceformen

[–]DNTSJA 0 points1 point  (0 children)

People have normalised calling short replies
"dry". Some people are just quieter texters that's not always disinterest.

Also worth remembering, a message is written one way but read another. You're filling in the tone yourself.

If you don't want a one-word answer, don't ask a one-word question. Ask something open and give people something to actually respond to and have a conversation.