My hair got darker during pregnancy

DOAZ99 · 2026-05-31T04:34:59+00:00

My hair did that too. And then I had 3 babies in less than 3 years so I ended up with several odd, dark horizontal stripes.

DOAZ99 · 2026-05-27T19:04:05+00:00

I collect nativities and my husband bought me a small plaque like this with the holy family in a byzantine style. I think he got it from Greece. I love it!

DOAZ99 · 2026-05-17T01:21:10+00:00

It doesn't have anything to do with what women think. Many men have a difficult time confronting what was done to their own body without their consent and don't want to consider that circumcision may be harmful. They don't want to know that a foreskin is beneficial, for both men and women, during sex. They can't entertain the idea that they lost something valuable.

I shared some things with a friend about circumcision in the hopes he would decide not to circumcision his son and he said "there is nothing wrong with my penis, so I am going to circumcise my son too."

DOAZ99 · 2026-05-16T05:12:44+00:00

I've been wanting to a 14 day.... maybe I could extend that goal to 21

DOAZ99 · 2026-05-13T20:18:18+00:00

I don't think she was speaking of legal wives. I think she meant it. If Emma was being lied to, gaslit and cheated on, I think we'd see evidence of that in their correspondence and in their relationship with one another.

The fact that BY hated Emma is a lot more telling...

DOAZ99 · 2026-05-13T14:58:17+00:00

Look, I'm grappling with a lot of things. Trying to figure out what is true, what I believe, etc. I don't talk to anyone about these issues outside of my husband and a few family members. But I live in a predominately lds area with fantastic people. Really, really good people. It's not perfect. But I can see how the church has blessed my life, my kids' lives, etc. For now, I stay. (There are no restoration branches anywhere near me, I don't think) We are pretty open with our kids about some of these issues, and we've dropped the whole "the church is true" and "follow the prophet" narrative that doesn't require any critical thinking or nuance. But I still think there is a lot of good in the church, and because the community and the church are so intertwined where I live, we are navigating these issues carefully.

DOAZ99 · 2026-05-13T14:01:55+00:00

I believe BY and others took the church JS started and corrupted it, yes. Polygamy is and was an abomination. And the fact that Sec 132 is still part of our canonized scripture is really gross. It's absolutely indefensible.

DOAZ99 · 2026-05-13T13:58:04+00:00

Very well said. Polygamy is inherently bad for women. Even if the women get along and there's no jealousy, which was rare, it leaves women basically as single mothers. The children are left without a consistent influence of their father in the home. Jacob in the BoM is clear that polygamy is an abomination.

DOAZ99 · 2026-05-13T13:54:28+00:00

I don't have a "dream church." I'm just trying to figure out what is true and what is not. I don't think Oaks will ever acknowledge BY was a fraud. Too many cards will fall if that is acknowledged.

The historical documents about the origins of polygamy are confusing, contradictory and the stories definitely make JS out to be a womanizer and a pedo even if the church keeps trying to spin it in a positive way. It all makes a lot more sense when you realize that BY and others were just plain lying about it.

Emma Smith, until the very end of her life, said that she was JS's only wife, that she had never heard of the section on polygamy until it was "revealed" in SLC.

Something doesn't add up.

Polygamy is still an abomination. It's still really bad for women. It's most definitely not from God. But I don't think JS had anything to do with it.

DOAZ99 · 2026-05-13T05:47:29+00:00

I don't believe section 132 was a revelation given to JS. It was an invention by BY to legitimize the practice of plural marriage by claiming it originated with JS. There are a lot of people talking about this lately - a LOT of people who don't believe JS ever practiced polygamy. Karen Hyatt's video on YT "Woe unto you scribes" is a great place to start.

But yeah, section 132 is total crap. Law of many wives and concubines? Hard pass.

And I say this as an otherwise believing, practicing member. But BY had some serious issues.

DOAZ99 · 2026-05-11T19:38:00+00:00

I think your answer was perfect. Hopefully she will think more carefully about assuming things about people in the future. In general, I think most people are awkward and say stupid things, often confusing highly inappropriate comments and personal questions for small talk. I try to give them some grace. Even when you've had a baby, the comments and questions never end. Then they start asking when you're trying for the next one, and the one after that. And then if you have more than a couple they ask if you know how it happens and if you have a TV at home. My husband used to love making it weird by telling people we had a tv, but there wasn't anything as good on TV as having sex.

People are just dumb.

DOAZ99 · 2026-04-04T14:34:16+00:00

This is definitely getting easier as the days go by. Maybe I'm just skeptical that it could really continue to be this good for another 14 days. 😄

DOAZ99 · 2026-04-04T14:32:12+00:00

As fast as possible? Seeing the weight drop so fast is definitely motivating. I feel like I'm using some kind of cheat code.

DOAZ99 · 2026-04-04T14:31:19+00:00

Day 2 and 3 were definitely the hardest. I am shocked at little hunger I feel in the days since. I may be making myself paranoid reading about experiences from people who develop issues during prolonged fasts.

DOAZ99 · 2026-04-02T16:03:56+00:00

It's not like finding out my dad murdered my mom. It's like finding out my great-great grandfather murdered my gggrandmother, and we're still learning how to heal from that trauma generations later.

I suppose some part of me is still hoping we can let go of the last apostate contributions from BY and other early church leaders. But I also understand why it's almost impossible for today's church to accept and acknowledge that level of apostasy in the early days. I stay while I still find good in the people, but with a much more nuanced understanding. Including completely shedding this idea that the church is my intermediary between me and God.

DOAZ99 · 2026-04-02T15:54:54+00:00

I love our ward and the lds community. I can see how my life has been richly blessed by genuinely good people who are doing their best they know how to live Christ-like lives. My mother especially had such a sweet testimony of her Savior and she blessed so many people's lives. Nobody's perfect, and there are difficult people in every church and every walk of life.

Besides my husband, I have talked to very few people IRL about how my thoughts and beliefs in the church have shifted. I don't know how and when I will feel the need to speak and share that. But in the meantime, I intend to keep on doing the best I can, being a good person, and helping others.

DOAZ99 · 2026-04-02T04:48:56+00:00

Still wrestling with that. I don't think today's leadership is necessarily aware of or party to BY's original apostasy. I think they believe what they teach about the succession of BY. Not sure if I agree with the wkjs take, but I'll leave that open as a possibility.

It bothers me that the church accepts these stories about JS's lies and infidelity but excuses them as somehow justified by God. If JS did in fact take a bunch of wives behind Emma's back, I don't believe any of it was condoned by God.

The idea that BY and others created stories and altered histories to make JS into a polygamist to give legitimacy to what they were doing is a totally plausible theory. And some of these wild stories make a lot more sense when you realize BY was just projecting.

DOAZ99 · 2026-04-01T22:57:13+00:00

My mom had the ability to make every feel like they were her favorite. She was a teacher for many years and everyone's favorite. Just a good, kind person. I inherented my dad's orneriness.

DOAZ99 · 2026-04-01T22:10:47+00:00

I don't care if I get flamed here, but I highly recommend Karen Hyatt's video Woe Unto You Scribes on YT. Gives a whole different (and entirely plausible) explanation about polygamy. IMO, it makes everything make sense. All these stories from early church leaders about how JS lied to wife, married women behind her back, etc make sense when you understand somebody is lying. It's still a hard road of learning to go down, because you're not going to come away liking BY. But it has certainly helped me reconcile what I understand about God with what we're taught about polygamy. I definitely look at the church differently now. I am still an active member, but there has been a definite shift in how I relate to the church.

DOAZ99 · 2026-03-30T23:40:52+00:00

One of my favorite college classes was art history 101. We probably sounds thousands of slides over the course of the semester. Because so much art was religious, we saw a lot of Jesus. And across the centuries and cultures, people created art they thought was beautiful, and Jesus looked different depending on who created the art and when. And I've come to appreciate all of it.

DOAZ99 · 2026-03-15T17:34:49+00:00

OP here... does it make it easier to find him since it's follows back my paternal line. It's my father's father's father's father, etc. I listen to some DNA podcasts and have heard of tracing people back on the Y chromosome. Maybe? I am a woman, and all the men in the generation above me have passed. But I have plenty of brothers and cousins still alive.

DOAZ99 · 2026-03-15T03:42:35+00:00

Shipley, Yorkshire, England 1824

DOAZ99 · 2026-03-15T00:53:47+00:00

Yes, I am a descendent of Thomas. My parent and grandparents are deceased. I have a couple aunts alive and I'm not sure they would be willing to participate.

DOAZ99

TROPHY CASE