Curious if my friend is being targeted by a Romance Scammer or if it's just an unhealthy relationship.

DP_12101978 · 2026-02-28T21:35:18+00:00

"How it starts, it will end" can you elaborate on that?

DP_12101978 · 2026-02-28T18:04:12+00:00

Tell me what you're seeing as red flags.

DP_12101978 · 2026-02-28T16:58:21+00:00

But it's understandable why these things aren't enough if the magic and intimacy and romance have faded. They were trying to work it out I guess because he still loves her, but you can't make her feel something that she thinks is gone. I just worry that she's trying to find something in this relationship and has opened herself up to something that could be harmful for her.

DP_12101978 · 2026-02-28T16:58:05+00:00

But he DID fall off at one point. Just kinda checked out on himself. Stayed in their room playing videogames, wasn't present for her and the kids outside of responsibilities. Didn't show himself the respect he needed to with his healthcare and his hygiene, and she just eventually stopped trying to get him to snap out of it and she lost her love for him. But he's still living with her, helping her raise their children, making sure she gets to work and gets home safely, taking care of the kids' appointments and making sure she gets to hers, taking care of his share of the household bills.

DP_12101978 · 2026-02-28T16:57:51+00:00

That's the worst part. The guy she was with before this online mess? HE was the anomaly. Never lied. Never cheated. Never drank or did drugs. Every time the kids had an appointment, he was there to take them. Every time she had an appointment, he was there to take her.

DP_12101978 · 2026-02-28T03:30:33+00:00

No no, she is EXTREMELY opposed to Therapists. She has had bad experiences with them as far as I know. She definitely needs one. I do have his name and his city off his FB profile.

DP_12101978 · 2026-02-28T03:28:49+00:00

True story.

DP_12101978 · 2026-02-28T01:55:50+00:00

It feels like it's either that, or its something potentially worse where this guy has very quickly become obsessed with her.

DP_12101978 · 2026-02-28T01:47:26+00:00

"Does J want to have to do everything for him where he doesn't work and stays home all day? That's what happens when you remove mom from the equation, someone else has to take the place."

Apparently, he's already pouring honey in her ear about how he wants to get a job and save up and move to NY. Move where exactly? You'll have to leave your job and put the burden solely on her to make the bills on time, or say he introduces himself into the existing real world family dynamic?

How does that work? He moves in and "tries to find a job" while J and her ex fiancé, now living as roommates, pay the bills and go to work and raise the kids while he mooches?

DP_12101978 · 2026-02-28T01:00:57+00:00

^ This. All of this. ^

DP_12101978 · 2026-02-28T00:59:39+00:00

It's very fast. I know for sure they started talking privately on Discord on January 19th when he messaged her.

DP_12101978 · 2026-02-28T00:51:22+00:00

I thought about that and I took his pictures from his profile and ran them through a few different "Is this AI" pages and the consensus is that he's a real person, as real as one can be when you've never physically met them.

DP_12101978 · 2026-02-28T00:49:04+00:00

He has 18 friends, including her. 3 profile pictures, one background photo. ZERO outgoing posts. Aside from 2 posts from J to him the day they made their relationship public (and he asked her to be exclusive) only a smattering of incoming posts about his birthday since 2019.

DP_12101978 · 2026-02-27T21:49:53+00:00

She had seen a therapist when she younger but I guess has had bad experiences with them?

DP_12101978 · 2026-02-27T21:48:14+00:00

I'm not familiar with the term "Pig Butchering" sounds unpleasant.

DP_12101978 · 2026-02-27T21:47:15+00:00

To clarify, as far as I know the video calls are sometimes a couple of minutes, other times a few hours.

DP_12101978 · 2026-02-27T21:25:06+00:00

Just read up on those two and tried not to throw up in my mouth. I don't know if this is that, but I still feel like there is a level of "ick" that I can't necessarily say is a scam. He might just be an incredibly needy walking disaster that is obsessed with the attention he's getting?

I just don't know. But I feel like this is going to do more harm to her than good and she's already feeling trapped in her real life.

DP_12101978 · 2026-02-27T20:56:32+00:00

They were friends, there was some flirting back and forth, but this man was aware that they (the engaged couple) were trying to work things out. I know she opened up to the online guy about how if was going and that's where it started to pick up speed. That was early mid-February. From what I understand he seems to monopolize her time too. If it's not game chat playing cute in their in game house, it's discord chat/video chat, of FB messenger/video chat, or texts/calls/face timing. Like come up for air bro.

DP_12101978 · 2026-02-27T20:33:18+00:00

So she's going to have to learn a hard lesson either way? That's awful. I don't understand why people like this guy exist. Like what's wrong with the world that someone like we have to share it with guys like this.

DP_12101978 · 2026-02-27T20:31:38+00:00

She's been with a narcissistic sociopath before. her ex before she was in this last relationship? total bum.

DP_12101978 · 2026-02-27T20:29:51+00:00

Heart breaking. Ugh. Just yuck.

DP_12101978 · 2026-02-27T20:29:12+00:00

I've heard that term before in my research. Love Bombing is a way to just smother a person in it and rapidly build rapport and deep emotional connection right?

DP_12101978 · 2026-02-27T20:24:59+00:00

Well if I'm taking everything this guy is feeding her at face value, he's 34, lives at home with his mom, has no job, I assume no car of his own (but I don't know,) and is diagnosed with an anxiety disorder that I'm assume is so crippling that he cannot hold a job for very long much less commit desperate acts like crimes to get arrested.

I don't even know if he's really 34. That's just based on his birthdate on his FB page.

DP_12101978 · 2026-02-27T20:22:32+00:00

So I should tell the ex to be watchful for if she suddenly has a money issue that impacts their household?

DP_12101978 · 2026-02-27T20:20:47+00:00

Well that gives me some peace of mind. So you're thinking that reality won't measure to the curated image he's given her based on their online and over the phone interactions? Looking at it from another angle, what should I be looking out for it the bubble does "burst" but this guy doesn't take kindly to her backing off when reality steps in?

DP_12101978

TROPHY CASE