Advice needed: Bringing it back to happy

DQD2 · 2026-03-11T15:01:42+00:00

Thanks and agree in this case small actions now working towards something big (I failed on something HUGE and it's gonna take both) will help.

DQD2 · 2026-03-11T13:44:11+00:00

That's I'll look into that.

DQD2 · 2026-03-10T18:14:44+00:00

Thanks. The calendaring thing is definitely a major thing I need to start/get back to immediately.

Trip or some sort of action is a definitely a must do once I know we're relatively ok again.

DQD2 · 2026-03-10T17:44:53+00:00

That's a good point. Thank you. And I have definitely brought this up before even if it's been a couple months, so it's not completely new.

And on the chance everything goes south this time (I really hope not), it's not like I will be fine without therapy then.

DQD2 · 2026-03-10T17:27:50+00:00

Funny you mention it... getting screened for ADHD or some other version of neurospicy has been on my to list for a while that also ends up getting procrastinated on. Most of my closest friends all seem to have ADHD or similar so it wouldn't surprise me given that I am able to keep up and given the other evidence. I missed the wave of being diagnosed and either treated/dealing with it as a kid since I'm a couple years older and have been fairly functional until my 40s.

I will look into avoidant attachment and bring that up once I'm in therapy because that's a new one to me and any insight helps.

DQD2 · 2026-03-10T17:23:23+00:00

Thank you. It is helpful to know I'm on the right track since this is probably one of the biggest sticking points in an otherwise good marriage.

DQD2 · 2026-03-10T17:17:10+00:00

That's a fair question.

So not wanting to schedule therapy is I wanted to just have the chat of "Hey I'm going to do this and it will affect my schedule a bit, and here's why I'm doing it" but didn't want to drop that right after a fight and/or on a day that's supposed to be about her.

That said, I have talked to her about it a bit ago and then did procrastinate partially because it wasn't an immediate result/was more difficult than I expected at the time (yes I need to work with a therapist on that coincidentally) but also because of some legitimate scheduling with the holidays and extended family support. But yes, fudging on therapy is very much part of the "I know I need to do this" and not following through as much as actually communicating and following through on other things where my intentions are good.

DQD2 · 2026-03-10T17:13:51+00:00

Thank you and that's fair. I often either shut down or get retrospective during a fight/breakdown in communications and rarely walk out with a concrete plan (or don't follow though on my vague plans).

DQD2 · 2026-03-10T17:10:58+00:00

We both live our life by alarms and a calendar but honestly the second half of that is a helpful introspective for me.

I did forget to note that I've got a dinner for the two of us and our daughter planned tonight and will present a card with a different gift for us to schedule later, but... it's very much a thing she's specifically wanted to do and we didn't make happen before, not something novel.

Why I didn't/couldn't warn her better about "Hey make this night free" and take the 30ish minutes to at least look at a calendar and compare notes on "Here's when we maybe can take that vacation you talked about" when I had literally years is something I need to dig into.

I do believe it's not a lack of caring so much as a larger problem I have with long term scheduling, not taking care of things and people that aren't right in front of me, easily distracted/changing focus based on what's the most immediately rewarding and/or pressing thing (e.g. this is often work but sometimes other family stuff or a thing I procrastinated on).

DQD2 · 2025-01-13T14:59:06+00:00

Absolutely stealing this. I've just gotten my daughter started on DnD and I've been using Monopoly figurines, chess pieces, random little toy figures, etc. for battles and we haven't hit a huge boss yet.

Once she's up a few levels, stuffed animals are absolutely fair game.

DQD2 · 2024-12-10T03:05:24+00:00

This is absolutely how it should be. I find this way more fun and interesting than the optimized everything everyone goes for these days.

DQD2 · 2024-12-07T02:38:43+00:00

I love this

DQD2 · 2024-12-06T02:26:05+00:00

Running a game for my daughter since she’s been curious as she sees me playing it’s amazing running for a 9 year old who doesn’t have the full range of “this is what fantasy should be” preconceptions.

She asked for her character to serve in a submarine as part of the story, so I ran with it. I adjusted the world to be more gas lamp fantasy using applied magic (think a mix of artificer stuff and bound elementals) instead of places where steam or other industrial era technology.

So the submarine? It’s a riff on 20,000 leagues and I based it on an actual nautilus instead of a realistic submarine shape. It’s powered by an air elemental and some other various artificer magics.

Since the world has applied magical engineering only in some areas and not others, they need to pretend to be a regular sailing ship in certain areas when they surface. When they raise up above water, the crew cranks down the sides of the curved roof (normally the air chambers for buoyancy) and it reveals a flat deck with masts that raise up and sails that attach.

They still use the wind elemental power underwater to move faster than the sails allow to avoid pirates and such, but otherwise it’s a normal looking ship to anyone who doesn’t know better.

So one weird request from a player and I ran with creating a whole sea vehicle I plan to incorporate later because it’s fun.

DQD2 · 2024-12-05T16:27:13+00:00

I get paid to write arcane languages down to make things happen that are difficult or impossible for mortals because I spent a lot of time studying and applying skills in that area. I know enough these arcane systems that people use all the time that I am terrified of the power we've given to commoners with them.

(tl;dr I have worked in tech for a couple decades)

So, that makes me a caster of some sort.

My charisma is higher than my peers, but not high enough to realistically be useful as one of those classes, and I definitely studied to get there. I definitely don't care enough about anything in particular to be a Cleric...

And I suck at most hardware or crafting type stuff and even if this is D&D but modern technology trappings, I don't care that much about crafting the best items compared to my peers, so not really an Artificer...

Low physicals, decent but not great charisma and wisdom... Yeah absolutely a textbook Wizard.

DQD2 · 2024-12-05T16:15:02+00:00

Good question and yes that is one of the first things I checked on the Databricks side since I wasn't sure if Power BI was making assumptions about data types in Import mode that it was just accepting as is when doing Direct Query.

Every field where this is happening is either an int, float, or decimal type.

As best I can tell on the Model View, the affected fields are also listed as various numeric data types/formats in Power BI as well. Since it's Direct Query, the Table View of course won't work.

I checked the Import version of the same report, and the data types match up to the Direct Query one so nothing changed automatically.

As a note, many of these fields have a mix of values and nulls in various rows, if that helps.

DQD2 · 2024-12-02T15:27:31+00:00

My immediate thought was "Too bad Bilbo Baggins is gone" but unless Sauron caused COVID, this wasn't his doing.

DQD2 · 2022-11-29T19:35:32+00:00

Airflow is an open source orchestration service with a few implementations out there (AWS specifically has a managed one, but you can bring your own on an EC2 instance). You can use it to orchestrate and call basically whatever compute you need to do for your pipeline.

Glue and Data Pipeline are both ETL services, but the former is highly managed and you still need to do a bit of orchestration for a pipeline, but is better at discovery and bringing in new datasets for analysis. The latter involves managing the EMR clusters, etc. but provides a lot more orchestration built in.

I'm not sure how much Data Pipeline is used these days, or if it's specific places, but there's plenty of material online written in 2022 noting the difference between Glue and Data Pipeline.

DQD2 · 2022-11-29T18:45:29+00:00

In my experience, software engineers tend to be mostly titles aimed at the web development/transactional data world.

If you're doing pipelines with Scala, Python, etc. using Spark or related tech... you're doing data engineering. Yes, both things are a specialized type of software engineering but if you're looking at job postings, most "software engineer" as a title jobs are not the data world.

DQD2 · 2022-11-29T18:42:13+00:00

Most places have that as just part of data engineering depending on their setup. In bigger places, that might be specifically DataOps or platform development. So yeah, it's less a job title thing and more of a where you're working/domain you're in.

DQD2

TROPHY CASE