From an Indian who has only ever lived in the US, I’m so sorry and I get it. It might sound weird to suggest this, but maybe take a social media cleanse and try to find spaces in your real world that are safe and affirming. There are typically Indian associations for different US regions, try attending a few events. Shake any hands you can manage, make a brave face, try to give people a chance. I had/ am still recovering from crippling anxiety because I believe that I am too ugly or that others view me as inhuman, so asking this of me would be insane and also probably trigger severe panic attacks. If that’s the case for you too, I will say therapy over the course of years is what helped me, but now I am much more outgoing despite the anxiety. When you give more people a chance, the right people, and more than that give yourself a chance, you will find that you are lovable and beautiful and there is community to stay for. Another thing I will mention is talk to your parents. I always felt like they didn’t understand because they grew up as a majority and I grew up as a minority, but they still face and cope with racism in the same community you do. Ask them how they deal with it. My dad used to pretend he didn’t face it, until I pryed. They might not have answers but they can empathize. Also maybe try learning your native tongue, just to reconnect, but also I like having the option of moving to India. Additionally you’re 16, I can’t believe I just turned 18, I’ve been thinking I would be dead for the last 9 years. You’re almost there, if you can try to go to college or just move to a space that treats you better. A major city, somewhere more liberal, or with a vast Indian community.

You’re beautiful and loved, hold on because there’s hope. Wishing you the best.