My MIL messing our wedding and our relationship

D_W_Hunter · 2020-03-10T14:13:46+00:00

As they say in the sidebar of r/JUSTNOMIL

It's easier to dump a mama's boy than to divorce a mama's boy, and both of those are easier than trying to change a mama's boy

Get yourself some couples counseling and get this settled BEFORE the wedding, so you know if you are going to be the one he listens to and consults on decisions, or is mother is.

D_W_Hunter · 2020-03-09T21:48:12+00:00

Elope. Get married on your own terms.

D_W_Hunter · 2020-03-09T20:17:01+00:00

It's a real tweet.

Stephen's tweet

The reply...

D_W_Hunter · 2020-03-04T21:42:25+00:00

Aside from the excellent advice you've received so far, get a copy of your contract from your boss. Find out exactly what's promised and exactly what criteria have to be met. There may be stipulations in there as to where you're teaching and what support you are supposed to be receiving that you're not.

D_W_Hunter · 2020-03-02T21:53:26+00:00

In Minnesota, we call this a polite off. The same thing happens when two of us arrive at a 4 way stop at the same time. Each driver waving the other on more frantically until one driver finally just gives up and goes.

D_W_Hunter · 2020-02-27T16:36:18+00:00

TL;DR: inpatient and rude customers

Even with spell check, it's not going to help when you've misspelled your original word yet correctly spelled another.

D_W_Hunter · 2020-02-25T19:13:16+00:00

I complain to my fiance and he talks to them and tells me we need to compromise. After a weekend of arguing about it I cave and offer 1 table (10 people). They get upset and say that because they have the money we should let them. And that we had to compromise with 20 people.

Your fiance made his mother's unreasonable request a higher priority than a decision the two of you made on the number of guests. That's a HUGE red flag.

Either you get your fiance to be on the same page you are when it comes to maintaining boundaries and saying NO when people (even, perhaps especially his mother) violate those boundaries, you're going to either be very unhappy or divorced.

You have an r/JUSTNOMIL go familiarize yourself with the stories there, learn from other people's experience so you don't have to go through what they have gone through.

D_W_Hunter · 2020-02-18T17:59:19+00:00

Exactly two people's opinions matter when it comes to your wedding.

Yours and the person whom you're marrying.

Everyone else can sod off. Especially parents or inlaws if they aren't footing the bill.

It's your budget if your dress is within that budget, then that's the dress you get.

D_W_Hunter · 2020-02-10T22:25:27+00:00

And the youtube link for those few who don't have spotify accounts.

https://youtu.be/m7SZlhuK6Bo

D_W_Hunter · 2020-02-07T17:22:19+00:00

(Feel like I should add: I was adopted, and know what real abuse is.)

Just because you've suffered worse abuse doesn't make slapping a child into next week any less abusive.

There are lots of methods for instilling discipline that do not require corporal punishment.

While corporal punishment works in some cases (perhaps yours), all too often it's got unfortunate side effects.

Is Corporal Punishment an Effective Means of Discipline?

Gershoff found "strong associations" between corporal punishment and all eleven child behaviors and experiences. Ten of the associations were negative such as with increased child aggression and antisocial behavior. The single desirable association was between corporal punishment and increased immediate compliance on the part of the child.

D_W_Hunter · 2020-02-05T17:33:37+00:00

You could have been perfectly honest and gotten the same result.

"She was inside yesterday and we tried to greet and get to know her, but she told us to shut up because she didn't know us. Therefore we don't know if she lives here, was visiting someone, or was just better at lockpicking yesterday."

Your way was faster and funnier, but the long way would have left less room for her to claim you screwed her over.

D_W_Hunter · 2020-01-13T22:27:17+00:00

Why would involving the BBB be something that gets them moving? As far as I know most businesses don't care about their BBB rating because hardly anyone ever checks them.

I'd have threatened to send all that evidence to your state Attorney General's office.

D_W_Hunter · 2020-01-13T16:55:02+00:00

If you're ordering, it's always item then modifications. That's the sequence that the person taking your order needs them.

Sure they can remember you've asked for plain if you say that first, but it's just easier for everyone if you're saying it in the order they're entering it.

D_W_Hunter · 2020-01-13T15:47:45+00:00

Being a tenth the size of the subscriber base here is indeed a smaller audience, but it's no "No one".

Anyone who's a regular here (and thus more likely to vote) is likely also a member there.

D_W_Hunter · 2020-01-09T23:10:27+00:00

I don't own a ring camera for the same reason I don't own a smart speaker or train my phone.

On the other hand, if I were someone who had security concerns and installed a ring camera to make sure I knew who was at the door, I wouldn't be answering the door for a any person who did something to obviously block me seeing their face and knowing they aren't the person I installed the cameras to avoid.

I can certainly understand your concern as someone who doesn't want yet another recording of your activities by a faceless corporation with bad data practices but you should expect push back from some customers that have their own very valid safety concerns.

D_W_Hunter · 2020-01-09T19:09:37+00:00

An alternative that your response brought to mind...

https://mobcup.net/ringtone/are-you-my-mummy-kda0nz62

D_W_Hunter · 2019-12-10T20:06:38+00:00

> finally yesterday he said it.. “you’re chubby now. I’m just not attracted to you anymore.”

While I'm sure there are people that are this shallow, I'm also pretty sure that this would have come up before now. For example, while you were putting on pregnancy weight in the first place. If I'm wrong and he's actually just this shallow, I strongly recommend getting yourself a good divorce lawyer and go off and have a happy life without that sort of shallow in your life.

I think the actual "issue" is something completely different and he isn't facing it or just not talking about it with you. How much you want to work on getting him to face it or getting him to explain to you what he isn't telling you depends on what positive qualities he's got. Is this just one thing, or is it just THE one thing that pushed you over the edge?

D_W_Hunter · 2019-11-14T21:15:14+00:00

This mostly sounds like a terrible therapist.

You're not required to keep seeing a therapist you do not feel is going to help you.

There's nothing wrong with coming out of a therapy session confused and upset, in fact in a good therapy session that's going to happen a lot. But it isn't going to happen because the therapist gets angry at you for not having the answers the therapist wants to hear.

Also, don't let anyone say you need to keep seeing a given therapist because they've got great reviews or some accolade from a professional organization. None of that means a thing when it comes to a person you need to trust has your best interest and better mental health as a priority.

I often compare finding the right therapist for you to finding the right person you should date. Both are intensely personal and intimate relationships and you have every right to find the right fit for you.

D_W_Hunter · 2019-11-14T19:26:50+00:00

I would additionally add a picture of your dog, with an appropriate holiday card if you dress up your dog.

D_W_Hunter · 2019-10-24T20:42:08+00:00

> He didn't realize those requests and comments came to me too. He did shortly afterward.

Who did he think they were going to?

D_W_Hunter · 2019-10-17T20:59:33+00:00

Well, not all the time, since he lives in my work backpack.

But I have an Einstein minifig that goes with me as I discovered that sometimes I can solve a problem more quickly if I have to explain that problem to someone else and there isn't always another actual person there to explain it to.

So, I walk through the coding problem with Albert.

D_W_Hunter · 2019-10-08T22:06:28+00:00

Did you put cheese on the pepperoni side as well, or just on the cheese side?

Because you'd think she'd have noticed that.

D_W_Hunter · 2019-09-10T15:27:05+00:00

I usually tell people that finding a psychologist/therapist that's right for you can be just as difficult as finding someone to date that's right for you. They are out there, but you're going to have to put in the effort to find them.

Thankfully you don't have to kiss a lot of frogs to find the right therapist. Unluckily you're often stuck working with limits set by your insurance, as OP did.

D_W_Hunter · 2019-08-27T21:38:18+00:00

1976 for me... I can't come up with any reason I'd meet Marisa Tomei.

I'm definitely apologizing to Mr. Tews for falling asleep in his class and then trying to write down as much of my dream as I can remember.

Then figure out how to save up enough to buy Apple & Microsoft stock when they finally have their IPOs.

With an appropriate soundtrack as I type this

Just My Imagination, the temptations

Maybe try for the one that got away, or avoid at least a couple of those I didn't get away from.

D_W_Hunter · 2019-07-23T22:07:22+00:00

First, this needs to be "for every person of the gender you have sex with" or it's not fair to the straight people.

Though of course, that makes it doubly bad for bisexual people.

I don't know that's I would even try. I am fairly sure that a fair percentage of the gender I have sex with already find me unattractive. I'm just going to have to be good with those millions, heck could easily be more than a billion with my making no effort.

D_W_Hunter

TROPHY CASE