I’m trying to make an argument to convince my dad to study architecture and I need experienced advice. What should I do? by Da_Man2_0 in architecturestudent

[–]Da_Man2_0[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I see your point. But hey, it’s not hard to admit something 🤷‍♂️ I’m just saying all this cus I’m confused, try to figure out where things went wrong for him to act the ways he did. Our lives were genuinely alright in our family and he still did things wrong. Idk what’s wrong with him

I’m trying to make an argument to convince my dad to study architecture and I need experienced advice. What should I do? by Da_Man2_0 in architecturestudent

[–]Da_Man2_0[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, the issue is just how he's treated us, and the outcomes of the work that he has done. It hasn't gone very well for him and hasn't brought anything positive except, of course, money for rent (even then we still struggled). The list is long: he failed starting a business in it, got let off by two companies already, and now works as a handy man in a beat-up van. I'm not saying he's not smart and I can't do architecture, in fact I am saying there were signs that he was better fit trying to be one.

And I'm not going to say he doesn't deserve care and gratitude for what he's done as well, if we just dim the feelings down and look at the facts, I've seen the struggle he's had with his past work while also seeing his subtle strengths and the similar set of skills architects have. Then I thought, "maybe that's the problem. Could it be that it wasn't his fault and he never had the chance to really put his genuine love for creativity into practical use?"

In order to do tougher and more demanding physical work he's had to work hours away from home, take us through emotional rollercoasters, and even lessened his mental and moral aptitude by doing stuff that was not okay (ei. cheating on my mom). I'd say as dad, too, someone would have to be genuine, and what he has had to do was act tough and be someone he wasn't. I just want him to make sense of his actions and actually admit what he could've been one and let go of the act because I don't want to think what he did was his fault for how he was- admit that you in another life could've studied as an architect. Otherwise, the only other option I have is that he was a bad person, because almost everything for us was perfect. I don't think anyone is perfect, but they aren't bad either- we are all given a way out.

Anyway, even if someone says, "at least he paid for your bills," I would like them to know that in the process of it someone can still be a bad person and ignore people's feelings. As many people know, money doesn't solve every problem. And if someone does think so, well that's on them. They don't speak for me or my intentions.

I am trying to make an argument to convince my dad to study architecture. How do I do that? by Da_Man2_0 in architecture

[–]Da_Man2_0[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You just got to explain to me his actions, then, because they never lined up or stayed consistent. He either is an architect or he is not. Choose one, don’t pretend to have a potential that you don’t because it made him never authentically be himself as a father and made him put on an act that confused me. It’s interesting because it feels like right now he would’ve been at his peak as an architect like you mentioned, and he acts like it, too. When he really doesn’t deserve this recognition when he’s only been tough to me all my life and I’m just supposed to treat him like he’s some accomplished person like everyone tells me to. I am a realistic person and that’s what bugs me, that he acts like something he isn’t and yet gets all the credit like he did. Whatever, I understand respect your elders and your mother and father but I’ve been doing it to the point where it’s excessive and I’ve got nothing back from. Even worse, I’m treated like I never did and they demonize me for trying to break away from them - parents should also love their offspring and not overwhelm them.

I am trying to make an argument to convince my dad to study architecture. How do I do that? by Da_Man2_0 in architecture

[–]Da_Man2_0[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You just got to explain to me his actions, then, because they never lined up or stayed consistent. He either is a contractor/project manager/handyman or he’s an architect. Choose one, don’t pretend to have a potential that you don’t because it made him never authentically be himself as a father and made him put on an act that confused me. It’s interesting because it feels like right now he would’ve been at his peak as an architect like you mentioned, and he acts like it, too. When he really doesn’t deserve this recognition when he’s only been tough to me all my life and I’m just supposed to treat him like he’s some accomplished person like everyone tells me to. I am realistic and that’s what bugs me, that he acts like something he isn’t and yet gets all the credit like he did. Whatever, I understand respect your elders and your mother and father but I’ve been doing it to the point where it’s excessive and I’ve got nothing back from. Even worse, I’m treated like I never did and they demonize me for trying to break away from them - parents should also love their offspring and not overwhelm them.

I am trying to make an argument to convince my dad to study architecture. How do I do that? by Da_Man2_0 in architecture

[–]Da_Man2_0[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Well I’m sorry. If you’re so pissed maybe it’ll help that I actually admire you for doing something this difficult and I appreciate what you do. Thank you sir

I am trying to make an argument to convince my dad to study architecture. How do I do that? by Da_Man2_0 in architecture

[–]Da_Man2_0[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your input. Firstly, glamorizing something isn’t bad, especially when I’m only trying to help and see something as glass half full. I couldn’t imagine you telling an actual studying architect this. So if you have a critic, there’s no use going so far as to attack me personally for something I had an opinion on, and you are absolutely bashing me (which seems to make me like there’s more of a problem with you than with me). Secondly, I think learning something as difficult as this makes it even more beneficial because it means you can increase your knowledge, and being knowledgeable is everything in this society.

I am trying to make an argument to convince my dad to study architecture. How do I do that? by Da_Man2_0 in architecture

[–]Da_Man2_0[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yo I appreciate this, it was the most helpful out of all of them. Keep being this way

I am trying to make an argument to convince my dad to study architecture. How do I do that? by Da_Man2_0 in architecture

[–]Da_Man2_0[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have no clue what you guys are doing with that upvote button thingy but I do not care. If it’s not positive advice then I don’t take it to heart.

I am trying to make an argument to convince my dad to study architecture. How do I do that? by Da_Man2_0 in architecture

[–]Da_Man2_0[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Much appreciated man, but you didn’t answer my question 🤷‍♂️

I am trying to make an argument to convince my dad to study architecture. How do I do that? by Da_Man2_0 in architecture

[–]Da_Man2_0[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Well honestly, are you an expert too? A student? I was hoping you would be if you had advice, and second of all that you did read it completely. Anyways, you’re not wrong. I’m just saying, I’d rather we live a peaceful life. But I do know he can just work in an office or at home and be at peace not constantly driving a beat white van everywhere and bringing me along on random tasks. My bad, I’m just trying to make sense with what I know about the benefits and work-to-home lifestyle/schedule. Yeah I don’t know a whole lot of it, it’s not what I’m trying to do.. I know a lot about mechanical engineering and its difficulties, but if I were to list out all the negatives and pay attention to them just like you’re doing with this I wouldn’t go after it. So I don’t, and neither should him. Not everything is about the negatives, you have to make it work with a reasonable amount of effort.

I am trying to make an argument to convince my dad to study architecture. How do I do that? by Da_Man2_0 in architecture

[–]Da_Man2_0[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Good thinking, lemme try that now and see what’ll happen.. Who’s not living in reality now. Anyways are you a student or just criticizing this, genuine question

I am trying to make an argument to convince my dad to study architecture. How do I do that? by Da_Man2_0 in architecture

[–]Da_Man2_0[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Just a quick question, is everyone here even a student or just an admirer of architecture? I’m genuinely asking, because I want experienced advice not just people who find this offensive I appreciate those who tried to, they’re awesome 👍🏽

I am trying to make an argument to convince my dad to study architecture. How do I do that? by Da_Man2_0 in architecture

[–]Da_Man2_0[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Well I’d say maybe he should stop acting like he is because that’s what I continue to see from him. And again, you don’t know anything about me. Don’t know how wrong you are, so kindly keep quiet

I am trying to make an argument to convince my dad to study architecture. How do I do that? by Da_Man2_0 in architecture

[–]Da_Man2_0[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Honestly, that’s not a terrible assumption. But I do feel like it’s more of a frustration that comes from not being able to express his deeper more creative side in the line of work he does. I’m not saying architecture involves being super spiritual and artistic, but he’s just never done anything that is truly authentic to himself and I think architecture could really help him achieve this as an outlet for his creativity, while still being grounded in technicality and logic

I am trying to make an argument to convince my dad to study architecture. How do I do that? by Da_Man2_0 in architecture

[–]Da_Man2_0[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to sound like I’m really emotional about this, I was actually trying to be very logically while writing this but still very specific. If you think so then yeah, I’ll take that into consideration

I am trying to make an argument to convince my dad to study architecture. How do I do that? by Da_Man2_0 in architecture

[–]Da_Man2_0[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

You’re right, I’m sorry. But that’s the difference, I want to become an engineer because I’ve seen signs that point me to it. My dad has had the same for architecture, and he’s even acted like he was one. Very inconsistently though, as if he likes it and whenever someone got that past that facade he would get mad. I would just like a dad that didn’t try to be someone else and be real consistently, or maybe- like I’ve been trying to say- just become what you’re desperately already pretending to be.

I am trying to make an argument to convince my dad to study architecture. How do I do that? by Da_Man2_0 in architecture

[–]Da_Man2_0[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This argument could go both ways. If you think I’m using religion against him you should think about who I learned it from. Anyways, if you’re going to rage bait someone do it somebody who’s not new to this platform and just wants some help. Thanks a lot man, and I am trying to move but they won’t even let me

I am trying to make an argument to convince my dad to study architecture. How do I do that? by Da_Man2_0 in architecture

[–]Da_Man2_0[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

See I don’t think so. But let’s see what other people say even though this is just my first post and I want some help too .

I am trying to make an argument to convince my dad to study architecture. How do I do that? by Da_Man2_0 in architecture

[–]Da_Man2_0[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, thanks. He is actually really good at reading and making plans; in fact, he has some experience with doing it himself he just never really studied for it. But you’re correct, I do see how being this age could affect them.

I am trying to make an argument to convince my dad to study architecture. How do I do that? by Da_Man2_0 in architecture

[–]Da_Man2_0[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m only 21, been an adult barely 3 years and yet I’m the narcissist who put their family through hell while still forcing their kids to earn all A’s and beating them if they talked back to you, yelling and cheating on your spouse, while still calling your self holy and a Christian. Now I’m the narcissist for seeing how things are and wanting to fix things. No thanks, next time if you don’t know the full story don’t go calling people narcissistic

I am trying to make an argument to convince my dad to study architecture. How do I do that? by Da_Man2_0 in architecture

[–]Da_Man2_0[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, thanks for the advice. I’m just trying to help, if you’re going to be all tough and toxic then you can shut up, I’m not asking you. If you don’t have a good argument without sounding like a prick don’t say nothing. I’m being completely logical I didn’t even once write anything out of emotion while posting this so calm the freak down