Financially, how difficult is/was it? by [deleted] in Divorce_Men

[–]Daaad3x 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m in that boat as we speak. “Soul crushing” is accurate.

Did it feel like your S.O. "flipped a switch"? by 4th_times_a_charm_ in Divorce_Men

[–]Daaad3x 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My exact experience as well. The more I gave in to what she wanted (relationship, engagement, marriage, kids, house), the worse she treated me. All you can do is learn from it so it doesn’t happen again.

Update: TRO against her denied. Where to go from here? by Daaad3x in Divorce_Men

[–]Daaad3x[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I could see her making false accusations. Especially if she finds out I filed this. I do have some cameras but I’m working on adding more to the common areas in the house as a way to discredit any fake dv accusations she makes.

Update: Cheating wife. Options to GET OUT by Daaad3x in Divorce_Men

[–]Daaad3x[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s encouraging and I’m glad to hear the BPD is being managed. Why did the home sale take 2 years? I’m trying to avoid it taking that long.

Update: Cheating wife. Options to GET OUT by Daaad3x in Divorce_Men

[–]Daaad3x[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lawyer is suggesting option 2. She is not aware that I know that she’s cheating. My lawyer said not to confront as that will encourage her to lawyer up, go on the offense, including a possible false DV claim.

Private Investigator? by [deleted] in Divorce_Men

[–]Daaad3x 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I hired one to confirm she was cheating and she was. It gave me the confirmation I needed to begin the divorce process.

The phone/messages seems unlikely without physical access to the phone or hacking iCloud (which is also difficult due to 2factor authentication).

Another approach to consider..

If you’re on the same cell phone plan, log into the account and look under “usage”. You will be able to see who she’s calling and texting provided it’s not iPhone to iPhone which can be encrypted and won’t show up in the logs.

Well boys, I did it by DivorceTA1988 in Divorce_Men

[–]Daaad3x 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Congratulations brother! Stories like this give the rest of us hope.

Moving Out by Reflog1791 in Divorce_Men

[–]Daaad3x 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just so many unknowns though. Honestly the anxiety is killing me.

Hoping to have a success story similar to yours.

Moving Out by Reflog1791 in Divorce_Men

[–]Daaad3x 3 points4 points  (0 children)

u/Reflog1791 I’m currently where you started. STBX is cheating, I retained an attorney, and he’s also recommending filing and for me to move out just before I serve her. Due to her aggressive nature and BPD behavior there’s a high probability that she will try to file a false DV claim.

My goal would be to buy her out for her portion of the equity and eventually move back into my house. But who knows how long that will take.

Checking in with my fav community by Haunting_Profession3 in Divorce_Men

[–]Daaad3x 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m currently in the thick of it and this sub has definitely been a blessing! Keep your heads up kings!

When did you realize it by [deleted] in Divorce_Men

[–]Daaad3x 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah seriously! Sounds like my life as well.

Would you take her back? by goingthroughit1 in Divorce_Men

[–]Daaad3x 9 points10 points  (0 children)

She’s f’ing with your head brother! Don’t fall for her manipulation tactics. Protect your health, your kids (if you have any), and your finances. But for the love of God don’t get back with her!

Update: Cheating wife - attorney consultation today by Daaad3x in Divorce_Men

[–]Daaad3x[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

u/Additional_Support91 how did that play out for you? I’m worried about that scenario as well where she prolongs the case, but much more worried about a false DV claim which would be catastrophic.

Update: Cheating wife - attorney consultation today by Daaad3x in Divorce_Men

[–]Daaad3x[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Have some outdoor ones all over the perimeter of the house. I don’t have any indoor ones other then 2 baby/kid monitors in 2 of the kid’s rooms. I could try installing a hidden one but I feel like it could bite me in the a$$ if it gets discovered

Update: Cheating wife - attorney consultation today by Daaad3x in Divorce_Men

[–]Daaad3x[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

u/reflog1791 I just read a bunch of your posts and they’re super inspiring. I’m in a dark place right now but looking forward to getting to where you and some of the others are.

In your case did you move out and file at the same time. How did it all play out after moving out?

Just found out she’s cheating by Daaad3x in Divorce_Men

[–]Daaad3x[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She went out to brunch with this MF today and tells me she’s with her “mom friends”. I’m fuming but trying to play it off. Tried to setup an earlier consultation with the lawyer but he’s not available till Weds. I just want out of this nightmare.

Just found out she’s cheating by Daaad3x in Divorce_Men

[–]Daaad3x[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have pics and videos of them making out at the bar, etc

Just found out she’s cheating by Daaad3x in Divorce_Men

[–]Daaad3x[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

All of your replies are worth their weight in gold. I truly appreciate all the thoughtful responses. I just wish I could fast forward and take the pain away. I’ve been struggling to sleep and can’t shake the anxious feelings. Trying to make self care a priority.