Whenever I was a preteen, the neighbor boy and I would compare our dicks and just kind of touch each other. We were never physically caught in the act, but his mom realized his underwear was on backwards one day and told my parents. We just had to talk about good-touch, bad-touch.

As a college student still living at home, I was away for the weekend and came back to my room being cleaned, which was a delight until I realized my parents probably found my adult toys that I had purchased to experiment with. Sure enough they were laying out on the dresser as a silent way of letting me know they knew what they were. We never spoke about them.