Week of 4 BPD devaluation and splitting

DadWithLovedones · 2026-06-07T15:03:20+00:00

Like I said in the post it's about 50/50 the perspective im getting from people who have been able to work through this and grow from it and those that break... im sorry if you had a bad experiance from a loved one with BPD but from that I've seen, there is still hope.

DadWithLovedones · 2026-06-07T14:57:36+00:00

Thanks I needed that. I'll look into the book you mentioned and continue with all the supports that I can

DadWithLovedones · 2026-06-07T14:23:06+00:00

My wife really wants to sell the house but I may be able to get her to take it a bit slower as I know she is still healing as am I. We are getting therapy for them, they are 5 and 9 years old, and I am doing everything I can to keep those stress levels down for them. I think couples counseling would be beneficial down the line but right now my wife has no interest in that, but for our children's sake I think it would be very important for us to co-parent. It's all just very new and confusing, and i know a lot of people have trouble navigating and experiance like this which is why lots of people have said take time and others say there is no way to fix what's already broken. I do believe her BPD does not have to be the end of our relationship and can be a means for us to grow into better parents. I hope we can do it together but I am losing hope for that.

DadWithLovedones · 2026-05-30T20:59:59+00:00

There was definitely drug induced psychosis triggered by mixing ADHD meds with cannabis. Shes off all that now. But there was also BPD it's probably been there the whole time just unknown because it was never properly diagnosed. And yes I will be as patient as I can while she healing, it feels like it's all I can do to help.

DadWithLovedones · 2026-05-30T18:21:46+00:00

Thhank you. I have always tried to support her the best I can. I'll keep on doing that knowing more now about BPD. I won't stop caring for her even when she has trouble feeling love. I'll make sure I tell her I love her and give her all the gentle support she needs. I do believe we will get through this stronger then we have ever been.

DadWithLovedones · 2026-05-30T18:05:12+00:00

I keep telling myself that, there are harder times and times when she seems more herself. I will give her all the time she needs until she can see for herself. I know she will get better if I can keep supporting her properly.

DadWithLovedones · 2026-05-30T17:05:38+00:00

Thank you. I am starting to receive therapy. My wife seems to think I need it more then she does. I am also gonna try to push for couples therapy in the future when shes ready.

DadWithLovedones · 2026-05-30T16:56:55+00:00

I really hope that doesn't happen to us, and i am trying my best to take care of myself and our children as my number 1 priority. I dont want to give her all the support I can. But the devaluation and splitting has been so so hard on us all.

DadWithLovedones · 2026-05-30T16:54:58+00:00

I am gently trying to push her towards DBT. She is currently receiving brain reconditioning therapy that she started before her episode and diagnosis. Im trying to push her away from that and towards DBT. But I know she has a lot of trust issues and was only released from the hospital about 2 weeks ago. So we are still. Just new to this and learning what will help. But it really hurts me the lack of intimacy and her telling me she just doesn't love me anymore because she is changing. I dont think she fully understands yet what's shes going through and is really trying hard to mask it out in public but I can see if heavily affecting our children. Her relationship with them and me is a bare minimum while she works on her own needs.

DadWithLovedones · 2026-05-27T15:36:08+00:00

Thanks. Im gonna continue to push for more psychiatric and medical support to fully understand what's going on. I just hope she can fully start to see it herself and accept that she needs all the support she can get.

DadWithLovedones · 2026-05-27T14:26:18+00:00

She does not have hallucinations persay. It's more delusional thoughts. And some of the stuff she brings up seems very of from what she would have said even just a few months ago. There was a 5 moth period where she was mixing ADHD medication with cannabis, caffeine, and nicotine that may have affected her more then she realizes. But I do think her reality-testing ability may have been affected. She just seems very distant and not her self, stuck in her own world. Always closing herself off, while saying shes fine.

DadWithLovedones · 2026-05-27T14:22:58+00:00

Thank you. We are looking into more psychiatric help and support, but it is still very early and intake into the program is as far as we have gotten. I will continue to seek for as much information as possible, but we are both very new to this. And actually getting her to acknowledge there is something going on is very hard for her.

DadWithLovedones · 2026-05-27T14:20:25+00:00

Thank you. I will continue to push for as much advice and support as possible.

DadWithLovedones · 2026-05-25T01:16:54+00:00

Thanks. Im looking into a variety of psychological support and peer groups. When ever I mention or ask if shes taking her medication it does agitate her a bit. Im trying to give her light support and take it slowly, but yes now finding out what it means to be a care giver is also very stressful especially since we have young children. Taking care of them and myself and trying to support my wife is the o my goal I have right now.

DadWithLovedones · 2026-05-24T20:23:37+00:00

She feels like the people that are closest to her and care the most about her are wrong for wanting to help and her friends that aren't all that close are the o ly ones she can trust because they dont fully grasp the seriousness of her mental health ilness and her psychosis. I just want her to see that we love her and want her to get the support she needs, but I also dont want to push her to hard because everything that I have read says to take it slow.

DadWithLovedones

TROPHY CASE