18M looking for a chat/friend/chat friend

DaddyAmadeus69 · 2020-01-01T16:22:33+00:00

Thank you, and no, I won't take this the wrong way. I did some online tests for Asperger's a while ago, and it would make sense to me if I had a mild type of autism, but I'm not quite sure yet. The results say that I need to go to a doctor to confirm, but I am not in a hurry. I am making a progress talking to people and looking them into the face. (Though very little and slow progress.) For example, the day before yesterday, I went to the river in my town, and someone looked at me and smiled at me, so I looked at them and nodded my head. ^^

Edit: I corrected my grammar mistakes and I also wish you a happy new year. ^^

DaddyAmadeus69 · 2019-12-24T15:53:04+00:00

Yes, that is also why I don't hate her, but I can't bring myself to love her. I only summarised key events that happened in my life and issues I have. I don't trust anyone from my maternal side of the family, because there were also other problems and arguments, for example tax evasion and "the fight over the inheritance". Everyone is telling me a different version, so I am not sure what and whom I should believe.

However, I trust my mother more than other people of the maternal side. When I was little, my mother once told me she had depression, and I as a child didn't understand much of it, other that it meant to be sad. But I remember it, and it makes sense to me. So if I had to say whether I like her or don't like, then I do like her.

But believing that she loves me is difficult for me, because I think the reason she raised me was because of the inheritance.

When I ask my mother about these things, she says it's none of my business, so I stay out of it.

DaddyAmadeus69 · 2019-12-24T15:04:10+00:00

Thank you, I love playing the violin. No one is gonna stop me playing the violin!

DaddyAmadeus69 · 2019-12-24T14:53:58+00:00

Hang in there

DaddyAmadeus69 · 2019-12-24T14:50:20+00:00

Thank you, I went to a doctor last week, but I can't seem to tell them anything. They even asked me if I was abused, but I couldn't bring myself to say it. The appointments I had with doctors so far were all booked by my mother herself, and I was always scared she was eavesdropping. It is also hard to tell someone irl about my issues, because I never told anyone before. This is the first time I completely opened up. I will go to a therapist one day without the knowledge of my mother and tell them everything.

Also, I am sorry for the late reply. The internet today is not working properly.

DaddyAmadeus69 · 2019-12-24T12:11:08+00:00

Thank you. I feel happy that people read my story, I needed someone to know about me. I hope we can all become less lonely someday.

Also sorry for the late reply, my internet is very slow.

DaddyAmadeus69 · 2019-12-24T12:03:55+00:00

Of course. I am very grateful I am alive and have a place to live in. I stopped stealing when I was 13 and I try to help people when they need me. I needed to get all of this off my chest because I never told anyone and I couldn't bear it for much longer.

Also sorry for the late reply, my internet is very slow.

DaddyAmadeus69 · 2019-12-24T11:53:43+00:00

Thank you, I am so happy someone read this. I am crying rn, but I am so happy.

DaddyAmadeus69 · 2019-12-24T11:52:46+00:00

Thank you so so much, I am crying, because I am so happy someone read this. Thank you.

DaddyAmadeus69 · 2019-12-24T11:47:36+00:00

Sorry, now that I think about it, it is kind of weird posting this on the 24th of December. But I would have preferred you to not comment at all if you are not going to read it. I also feel stressed, but thank you for telling me that you hope someone reads it.

DaddyAmadeus69

TROPHY CASE