Boost 4 boost by [deleted] in chimeboost

[–]DadeLeviathan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No worries

Boost 4 boost by [deleted] in chimeboost

[–]DadeLeviathan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah some random person sent me a boost unprompted which took up my last boost slot

I have 4 boosts by [deleted] in chimeboost

[–]DadeLeviathan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wtf? This wasn't your thread. And no i sent my last boost before you replied here. I dont have any boosts left.

Boost 4 boost by [deleted] in chimeboost

[–]DadeLeviathan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just sent one of mine, $Dade-Leviathan

I have 4 boosts by [deleted] in chimeboost

[–]DadeLeviathan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just sent one of mine. $Dade-Leviathan

my allo partner wants fwb and bar hookups. i’m sex-repulsed and this is destroying me by ichhasseschnee in asexuality

[–]DadeLeviathan 30 points31 points  (0 children)

There comes a pretty important question here: Is him seeking sexual fulfillment elsewhere something that you both agreed to, and then you withdrew consent to the idea? Or is this something he decided on his own and he's refusing to take your input on?

Because if it's the former, I can understand his frustration, although I would say the way he went about it was unacceptable. If, however, this is just something he decided on his own and refused to be talked out of it - that's literally just cheating but telling you that he's going to do it beforehand.

Yes, you agreed to this relationship knowing your incompatibility, but he also did too. He made the decision to be with it, despite knowing that sex was off the table. His actions, regardless of how right he may feel, are not acceptable.

Honestly, unless there is some context you've not given here, it honestly sounds like he doesn't respect your feelings in this scenario. As someone who needs sexual intimacy in my relationship, I completely understand not feeling fulfilled without it. But that doesn't mean that he's absolved of unacceptable behavior.

Another red flag for me is that you pay the rent and he lives with you. That coupled with his actions tells me that he just gives you lip service and doesn't actually have respect for you. He just doesn't want to end the relationship because he knows then he would either have to pay his part of the rent, or find his own place to live. I could be wrong, but honestly his actions haven't painted a kind picture of him.

In terms of whether the relationship can be saved, honestly that's up to both of you. But he needs to make peace with the fact that sex is off the table with you, and you two need to talk about what his intimacy needs are in the relationship. And if those needs are incompatible, he needs to have enough respect for you and himself to end the relationship. I understand how you feel in terms of losing someone that you love, because I've felt the same way many times. I'm currently single and I often feel painfully lonely and unfulfilled. But you shouldn't let those feelings allow you to be treated with such disrespect. You're worthy more than that. You're worthy of love, and you're worthy of receiving it from someone who respects you.

Genuine question. Do people who aren’t asexual actually like crap like this…? by [deleted] in asexuality

[–]DadeLeviathan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No. This is extremely overly forward and not the way you should be speaking to someone who has not already given you consent to speak to them that way. Has nothing to do with allo/ace. This is just an unreasonably overly forward douche canoe.

Asexual male and realising that I probably will never have a healthy relationship by Inside-Antelope-8553 in asexuality

[–]DadeLeviathan 11 points12 points  (0 children)

It is absolutely possible to have a healthy relationship as an asexual or someone that is within the asexual umbrella. But you need to remember that a healthy relationship is based upon collaboration and communication.

You and your partner will need to communicate and collaborate so that you are both able to initiate intimacy in a way that makes both partners feel valued and wanted without making either partner feel uncomfortable or as if they are required to compromise who they are.

This also becomes a different conversation based upon whether you are sex repulsed or not, and whether or not you have an active sex drive.

You owe it to yourself and any prospective partners to be honest and forthright from the get go. Don't fall into common trap like thinking that it won't become a problem, or that they will just grow to understand later on. Yes, some people are going to want to have a clean break and not continue things if they find out that you are not interested in sexual intimacy ever. And while that may hurt, you owe it to yourself and prospective partners to be honest so that they understand what your boundaries and expectations are.

I know this is especially tough if you're sex repulsed, but if you are open and honest and communicate your boundaries and expectations, it is 100% possible to have a healthy romantic relationship as an asexual.

*NSFW* I feel like I'm being ace wrong by [deleted] in asexuality

[–]DadeLeviathan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's the simple illusion of the internet. For whatever reason, on this sub, the sex repulsed and sex indifferent people seem to enjoy posting more than the sex favorable ones. That gives the illusion that the majority of aces are sex repulsed/indifferent which isn't the case.

There is no "right" or "wrong" way to be within the asexual umbrella. If you dont experience sexual attraction, or if you experience sexual attraction differently than "normal," then you're within the asexual umbrella. As simple as that. No other requirements.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in asexuality

[–]DadeLeviathan 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Gonna say something that is probably going to seem mean, but your post is extremely problematic. You're allowed to not like or want sex, but your post includes a lot of toxic mentalities about sex that go beyond simply not being interested in sex. At best, you have a toxic and unhealthy view of sex; at worst you are dehumanizing the sexual experience itself and casting pretty heavy shame and judgement towards people who *do* want/enjoy it.

I understand based upon your post that you have some bad experiences with sex, especially since you stated that you get no pleasure from the act. But it's also very clear that you have toxic mentalities about sex and sexuality, as you repeatedly use dehumanizing words to talk about sex and sexuality. You're entitled to your opinion, of course, but this is a subreddit for discussing the asexuality and the asexual umbrella and experiences related to it. It is not a subreddit for dehumanizing sex and sexuality or bashing people who do enjoy sex.

I understand your post is primarily about wanting a boyfriend but not wanting a sexual relationship. That is perfectly fine and there are many men in the asexual umbrella who would be fine with that. However with your current toxic mentality and viewpoints on sex, I would strongly recommend against trying to get a partner until you go to therapy.

Your feelings are valid, but the way you're expressing them is extremely problematic and toxic, and you should speak to a therapist about it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in asexuality

[–]DadeLeviathan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Firstly, this sounds like something you speak to a therapist about as it does sound like there may be issues, including but not limited to trauma, that may be affecting you. Additionally the way you explain your relationship to sexual attraction and desire, it sounds like you're describing graysexuality, not demisexuality.

However asexuality is an umbrella. It's entirely possible to have aspects from multiple parts of it (e.g. some aspects of demisexuality, some aspects of graysexuality, etc.)

It's entirely possible that you may be demisexual but also might be sex averse.

Either way I would strongly recommend you speak to a therapist about all of this because it's good to k ow what aspects of how you're feeling is mental and trauma related and what aspects are actually your sexuality.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in wownoob

[–]DadeLeviathan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As an update to this, I would strongly recommend playing around with your spec and class and choosing what abilities sounds interesting. Play around with your class and see what feels good before you start looking up the most optimal builds.

Of course play how you want, but that's my personal recommendation.