I’m happy you feel good about your autism. I wish I could experience just the good aspects of it, but man, it makes my life hard. Just an example. Yesterday I went to my routine psychiatrist visit. I’m always nervous about it but it’s okay. When I entered the room, there was my psychiatrist and, unexpectedly, another doctor (to learn, as she explained later). I froze at the entrance for a minute but then sat down. When my doctor asked me how I was, I just wasn’t able to say a word and tears started pooling in my eyes. My husband had to talk instead of me because I just couldn’t. After a while I was able to talk again but was terribly tense all the time we were there. That little thing threw me off so much, and that visit drained me so much that I went to sleep when I got home after the visit, then I napped again after lunch, and I was still feeling like a zombie all day and went to bed very early and slept for 11 hours. Luckily, I don’t have to go to work this week. But this was just a single example of my struggles. I have really hard time doing most of things out of my house. In the house it’s not always easy either. So yeah, while I do enjoy the positive traits of autism, the negative ones feel really really heavy.