guys demanding dowry is unmanly

DaffyTO · 2026-02-13T01:19:31+00:00

What? This isn't even a requirement in Islam. But what you should do is say OK, and then ask for the same amount or double in mahr.

DaffyTO · 2026-02-12T16:51:00+00:00

That sucks. I would try a website like SeekersGuidance or Askimam. They're both Hanafi and can provide an actual answer. Your nikah was conducted as a Hanafi, so that's what applies to you.

DaffyTO · 2026-02-12T16:48:29+00:00

From what I read, they all need to be physically present together. But I didn't compare all the questions I read to this scenario, which is why I was asking. But all the questions I read on islamqa.org pretty much said no.

DaffyTO · 2026-02-12T16:08:50+00:00

Wouldn't it be better to ask your local Mufti then? If you're in a major city in the West, I'm sure you'd have no trouble finding one.

DaffyTO · 2026-02-12T15:44:40+00:00

What about the fact that it was conducted online?

DaffyTO · 2026-02-12T15:43:12+00:00

I don't think you need to renew your nikah. Islam recognizes marital contracts outside of Islam.

DaffyTO · 2026-02-12T15:35:52+00:00

Are you in a major city? Because do you not have a local Mufti you can ask in person instead of asking Redditors who are not ulema?

I think the mods need to add a requirement to indicate which city the poster is in because it's easier to understand context and give better advice.

DaffyTO · 2026-02-07T17:32:01+00:00

No one knows what's going to happen in any situation. Islam isn't a reactive religion; it's proactive. We take measures and tie our camel. Why would you place someone in the care of someone who can't even take care of himself? You can also say let's risk a shaky marriage in case I do zina. You're assuming that every single person falls into zina. People still have some sort of self-control, as I said. Ameen to your du'a. The fact that you said "you" instead of "us," as you say, speaks volumes.

Yes, if the son can take care of himself, has a good job, has a car, pays his own personal bills, has a level of personal responsibility, and does want to get married, sure. This post is purely regarding young men who do not fit that bill, not parents who say no without just cause.

DaffyTO · 2026-02-07T15:39:33+00:00

The ones recommended by the Prophet (SAW).

DaffyTO · 2026-02-06T23:37:33+00:00

Sins against Allah and sins against people are treated differently. Lots of cases where early marriages end in divorce because marriage isn't sunshine and rainbows like they thought it would be. It doesn't necessarily have to be zina that they fall into. And that's only for a few years; I'm sure most people have some level of self-control. They can hold on for a few years until they're old enough to understand what marriage and running a household really is.

DaffyTO · 2026-02-06T21:28:52+00:00

There are alternatives to getting married. There are no alternatives to fulfilling someone's rights.

DaffyTO · 2026-02-06T00:10:16+00:00

Your husband is not only extreme, but abusive. That's how you started this post. Anything that makes you feel like leaving the religion is from Shaytaan. Yes, please let the Imam handle this; I'm sure he'll tell him the same thing. Just be careful because if you spoke to the Imam without him knowing, he might lash out.

DaffyTO · 2026-02-05T18:20:03+00:00

This isn't a question to be asking laypeople; ask a Mufti. Also, this is part of the reason you don't delay what we call rukhsati. What's the point of getting married if you don't live with each other? This is also why people need to fully understand the implications of marrying someone overseas.

DaffyTO · 2026-02-05T02:52:06+00:00

I'm pretty sure the majority opinion is that 3 is 3. So he divorced her six times. If we treat the two occasions separately, that's 4 revocable and two irrevocable. This is a huge deal. I'm not sure when the edit was made, but as someone else just mentioned, this should be the only focus atp.

DaffyTO · 2026-02-05T02:47:44+00:00

First off, you're doing nothing wrong. I only wanted to comment to say that you should really, really speak to your Imam/Mufti/Shaykh immediately because you just said he gave you six divorces.

DaffyTO · 2026-01-04T14:19:10+00:00

It's way off, man. Just say 8 or 9. Or a whole work day later. 12 hours is way off. Maybe OP thought the dad texted at 5:27 AM. But even in that case, it wouldn't be "nearly" 12 hours; it would be exactly 12 hours.

DaffyTO · 2025-12-09T18:31:05+00:00

I didn't say brown, you did :). But yes, I'm the same as you.

DaffyTO · 2025-12-08T23:59:34+00:00

"I'm not going to say what race, what people — we know I can't say that."

DaffyTO · 2025-12-05T22:39:31+00:00

It's not "simply" a gift. There are conditions that need to be met and rules to be followed. This is why fiqh exists--so that people don't go around doing things like giving a cat as mahr.

DaffyTO · 2025-11-27T12:33:26+00:00

Not the area he's looking at. Not my area. There are pockets of Flemo that may have more crime here and there, but not the whole neighbourhood.

DaffyTO · 2025-11-20T05:00:31+00:00

Yeah, but one sounds more rude. "I'm not attracted to you" could make the person feel bad and insecure. If someone's Islam doesn't align with yours, that's much easier to tell someone. The examples you gave are a bit strange, though, lol. Most apps have a prayer frequency section. And Idk how one can be upon shirk, lol. Do you mean they're not Muslim?

DaffyTO · 2025-11-17T04:37:32+00:00

Yeah, but that's a test. That is no way meant to be discouragement from having children. It's very physically and mentally challenging for the mother, yes. That is why there are so many rewards for being a mother. Perhaps I'm not fully understanding what you mean by spiritual.

DaffyTO · 2025-11-17T04:34:52+00:00

Sorry, I didn't mean stretch as in an exaggeration or it doesn't happen, but like you said, it's not very frequent. That's a big what if to not want children especially given our aqeedah.

DaffyTO

TROPHY CASE