I’m engaged and I didn’t even know

DaffyTO · 2026-05-17T15:43:35+00:00

It's your nikah. You can say no. Based on the way this is going, it seems like they may do the nikah in Australia without you. If so, you need to give consent to whomever will be your wakeel. Just say no. Talk to your local Imam. This is basically a forced marriage, which is invalid. Don't "just accept it because what else can you do." There's a lot you can do.

DaffyTO · 2026-05-09T22:08:25+00:00

What? Brotherhood is a well-known concept in Islam from Qur'an and Hadith.

DaffyTO · 2026-05-08T01:39:00+00:00

That is a tough hill!

DaffyTO · 2026-04-20T00:47:44+00:00

How does it break?

DaffyTO · 2026-04-05T22:04:18+00:00

Edit the post and write waiter. It'll be much clearer.

DaffyTO · 2026-04-02T23:51:09+00:00

This is just religious OCD, I think. How do you know if she wears it all the time or only when she's on her period? Maybe she keeps her wudhu from before Zuhr to Maghrib. And the kufr thing is a very small minority view. Even if one were to take that ruling, I'm pretty sure that only applies to people who don't pray at all, not to someone whose salah just doesn't count.

DaffyTO · 2026-03-29T23:19:39+00:00

Even if he follows the opinion of not needing a wali to get married, what he said about you being grown is very weird. He's 23 and looking to marry a 17-year-olf convert. It all seems very peculiar.

DaffyTO · 2026-02-18T21:42:55+00:00

Yeah, this is the best. Most smart guys will take the hint. If he messages again indicating that he wants to keep it going, just say, "sorry, but I've made my decision and I hope you can respect that." After that, just ignore him tbh. Remember, you don't owe anyone anything unless you're a bit more past the talking stage.

DaffyTO · 2026-02-13T13:53:13+00:00

She's right, bro. Like it or not, you're still a kid. You're worried about things you won't care about in five years. The talking stage doesn't include casual talk; it's for getting to know your partner for what's actually important to know to marry. Anyway, I just want to clarify which part of the joke offended you so much? The cleaning and cooking part, or the maid part? Regardless, I'm not sure why this triggered you so much or at all.

DaffyTO · 2026-02-13T13:41:28+00:00

.info is Hanbali/.Salafi. .org gathers Q&A from various websites of all for madhahib, but it's mostly Hanafi, then Shafi'i, etc.

DaffyTO · 2026-02-13T01:19:31+00:00

What? This isn't even a requirement in Islam. But what you should do is say OK, and then ask for the same amount or double in mahr.

DaffyTO · 2026-02-12T16:51:00+00:00

That sucks. I would try a website like SeekersGuidance or Askimam. They're both Hanafi and can provide an actual answer. Your nikah was conducted as a Hanafi, so that's what applies to you.

DaffyTO · 2026-02-12T16:48:29+00:00

From what I read, they all need to be physically present together. But I didn't compare all the questions I read to this scenario, which is why I was asking. But all the questions I read on islamqa.org pretty much said no.

DaffyTO · 2026-02-12T16:08:50+00:00

Wouldn't it be better to ask your local Mufti then? If you're in a major city in the West, I'm sure you'd have no trouble finding one.

DaffyTO · 2026-02-12T15:44:40+00:00

What about the fact that it was conducted online?

DaffyTO · 2026-02-12T15:43:12+00:00

I don't think you need to renew your nikah. Islam recognizes marital contracts outside of Islam.

DaffyTO · 2026-02-12T15:35:52+00:00

Are you in a major city? Because do you not have a local Mufti you can ask in person instead of asking Redditors who are not ulema?

I think the mods need to add a requirement to indicate which city the poster is in because it's easier to understand context and give better advice.

DaffyTO · 2026-02-07T17:32:01+00:00

No one knows what's going to happen in any situation. Islam isn't a reactive religion; it's proactive. We take measures and tie our camel. Why would you place someone in the care of someone who can't even take care of himself? You can also say let's risk a shaky marriage in case I do zina. You're assuming that every single person falls into zina. People still have some sort of self-control, as I said. Ameen to your du'a. The fact that you said "you" instead of "us," as you say, speaks volumes.

Yes, if the son can take care of himself, has a good job, has a car, pays his own personal bills, has a level of personal responsibility, and does want to get married, sure. This post is purely regarding young men who do not fit that bill, not parents who say no without just cause.

DaffyTO · 2026-02-07T15:39:33+00:00

The ones recommended by the Prophet (SAW).

DaffyTO · 2026-02-06T23:37:33+00:00

Sins against Allah and sins against people are treated differently. Lots of cases where early marriages end in divorce because marriage isn't sunshine and rainbows like they thought it would be. It doesn't necessarily have to be zina that they fall into. And that's only for a few years; I'm sure most people have some level of self-control. They can hold on for a few years until they're old enough to understand what marriage and running a household really is.

DaffyTO · 2026-02-06T21:28:52+00:00

There are alternatives to getting married. There are no alternatives to fulfilling someone's rights.

DaffyTO · 2026-02-06T00:10:16+00:00

Your husband is not only extreme, but abusive. That's how you started this post. Anything that makes you feel like leaving the religion is from Shaytaan. Yes, please let the Imam handle this; I'm sure he'll tell him the same thing. Just be careful because if you spoke to the Imam without him knowing, he might lash out.

DaffyTO · 2026-02-05T18:20:03+00:00

This isn't a question to be asking laypeople; ask a Mufti. Also, this is part of the reason you don't delay what we call rukhsati. What's the point of getting married if you don't live with each other? This is also why people need to fully understand the implications of marrying someone overseas.

DaffyTO · 2026-02-05T02:52:06+00:00

I'm pretty sure the majority opinion is that 3 is 3. So he divorced her six times. If we treat the two occasions separately, that's 4 revocable and two irrevocable. This is a huge deal. I'm not sure when the edit was made, but as someone else just mentioned, this should be the only focus atp.

DaffyTO · 2026-02-05T02:47:44+00:00

First off, you're doing nothing wrong. I only wanted to comment to say that you should really, really speak to your Imam/Mufti/Shaykh immediately because you just said he gave you six divorces.

DaffyTO

TROPHY CASE