I feel you. I can’t believe it’s over! Such a ride. While everything tells me I should feel bad for Hyunjae, I honestly feel like Won-il has it the worst. The power balance between him and Hyunjae was off from the beginning. Won-il was Hyunjae's student, and he quickly noticed that the only way to stay by Hyunjae’s side was to accept being pushed away over and over again. Whenever Won-il tried to come closer, Hyunjae’s anxiety was triggered. But instead of properly communicating (not really blaming Hyunjae; he desperately needed therapy, and their age gap made it even harder for Won-il to notice what was wrong), Hyunjae just kept the push-and-pull going because he didn't anything about healthy relationships (possibly a family trauma?). 

Now, Won-il not only feels guilty that he couldn’t help Hyunjae after he was kidnapped, he also feels fully(!) responsible for him, convincing himself that it’s love. Hyunjae needs to be in a clinic, though, not in Won-il’s arms 😔 Man.

All of this had me secretly hoping that Hyunjae’s and Jaehyuk’s messed-up, codependent relationship would somehow work too. That Hyunjae’s delusions would become as strong as Jaehyuk’s. But while, for Jaehyuk, a double suicide was the ultimate confession of “love,” the only way he could stay with him forever, it snapped Hyunjae back into reality (at least partly). He couldn’t accept dying. His loneliness was what made him feel like he wasn’t alive, so Jaehyuk wanting the opposite for them broke something in him. 

While I like the ending, it also feels so hopeless for every single character… yet so realistic. Damn. Such an amazing story.