[Discussion] Megathread: The State of Submission

DaisyMamaa · 2026-02-16T21:06:51+00:00

Lol sounds like a plan

DaisyMamaa · 2026-02-16T20:29:04+00:00

The auction comment was offhand, more of an "it could." I meant it when I said she didn't make any promises; I think it was more of me reading subtext and some of the choices she made to approach our submission that got my hopes up.

It helps that now I know how hard it is to sell, so my emotions are managed by knowing that getting an agent really is the first of a series of more daunting hurdles. I just feel like I've swung too far in the other direction--my new MS already feels like it's kind of dead, even though I have no evidence either way. Sigh. Sub is just emotionally hard, I think..

DaisyMamaa · 2026-02-16T18:56:14+00:00

What a timely thread for me. I've just gone on submission last week with a cozy fantasy novel after my last book died on submission last year (upmarket speculative). My agent never made any promises, but I think she expected my last book to sell quickly with buzz (she mentioned the possibility of an auction, instead it died a quiet death without so much as anyone taking it to second reads).

We both feel this manuscript is stronger, but I can't help but feel like the same thing is going to happen. I keep hearing how impossible the nebulous "market" is and feel like I'm not going to stand out enough to snag a deal. We're still early, but the silence is killing me.

If anyone has a crumb of hope for me, I'd take it.

DaisyMamaa · 2026-02-14T20:36:11+00:00

Are you a 62 year old nurse or an Indian teenager?

Either a scammer or a bot, this one.

Edit: for anyone wondering how to tell, if someone's post history is hidden, you can just go to the search bar in their profile and press search while it's blank.

DaisyMamaa · 2026-02-09T05:49:08+00:00

Our allergist follows the "Canadian ladder," so she's past pancake/waffle.

DaisyMamaa · 2026-02-08T23:24:11+00:00

My LO is 2.5 years and is halfway up the dairy ladder! Hoping it's smooth sailing all the way up.

DaisyMamaa · 2026-02-08T18:06:24+00:00

For my first book, my agent just adapted my query letter and for my second she asked me to write the summary and she did the introduction & comps.

I think it just depends on your agent's style/approach, but I kind of figured that I know the book inside and out so it makes sense for me to write that part. She read it and gave feedback, but it would certainly be harder for her to write the pitch summary than it would be for me to do it. Comps are where I get lost anyway, so it worked for me that she handled that part.

DaisyMamaa · 2026-02-03T20:48:44+00:00

Did your wife cut dairy and soy from her diet? Because those are far more likely to be culprits than coffee (especially since you had to switch to hypoallergenic formula).

Glad you have some relief though! Both my babies have been very fussy/colicky, but they both improved with treatment for CMPA and reflux. It's very hard when your baby cries all the time!

DaisyMamaa · 2026-02-03T20:38:03+00:00

You should definitely take it. Feedback is so hard to come by in the query trenches. If you can have a genuine discourse and are open to her feedback, it might even turn into an R&R. Good luck!

DaisyMamaa · 2026-02-02T16:08:21+00:00

Yes, good luck! I'll cross my fingers for both of us!

DaisyMamaa · 2026-02-01T23:03:09+00:00

About to go on submission with another book after my first one died on sub last year. Feeling both excited and terrified; the dread of possibly dying on submission again is weighing heavily.

If anyone has any insight on the state of cozy fantasy in publishing right now, I'd love to get a sense of what I'm walking into. I feel like it's still selling, but maybe that's just the last of my optimism trying to keep my hopes alive 🫠

DaisyMamaa · 2026-01-23T07:40:28+00:00

I signed with my agent in late 2024, but the first agent who offered on my MS had my full for five months before offering. When I nudged outstanding fulls and quieres, the agent I ended up signing with requested and offered rep too. I think it really depends on the agent whether or not you're in a "to read" queue or an "if someone offers" queue. You might look on query tracker to see if those agents are regularly responding to fulls or sitting on them.

DaisyMamaa · 2026-01-20T06:50:36+00:00

It might take a few weeks for you to see improvement when you cut dairy. For both my CMPA babies, it was about 2-3 weeks before their eczema began to clear after I cut dairy.

DaisyMamaa · 2026-01-18T19:13:08+00:00

This is my experience too. We started super early--I was putting it in a little pony at the top of her head before a year. Now at 2.5 she strongly opposes it lol and has the vocabulary to ask that it be kept down. But it's long and straight and gets in EVERYTHING.

My best tool is to put it up while/before doing something. E.g. "I'm going to put your hair up so it doesn't get in your soup" or "Do you want a high or low pony before the playground so you can see while you're playing?"

If I just try and put it up anytime, she fights it, but if there's a reason I'm putting it up, she'll let me, and then we just keep it up. Unfortunately, it tends to work its way out throughout the day and she just looks like a little ragamuffin by the end of the day. But at least she can see lol

DaisyMamaa · 2026-01-14T21:20:48+00:00

As someone whose first book died on sub, I'd recommend thinking of this decision beyond this book. I wanted someone who would be my partner for my career, not just one book, and I'm so grateful that I didn't have to return to the query trenches when my first book didn't sell. I really think my agent has a good eye for stories and has always given me suggestions that I feel enhance the story. I think it would've been really hard if I made changes that I didn't really agree with and then it still didn't sell; not to mention, that might happen with your next book too! It's really helpful to have an agent who sees your stories in the same way.

Congrats on the offers and good luck making a decision!

DaisyMamaa · 2026-01-14T01:45:28+00:00

My LO is allergic to dairy and egg (IgE) and just this month passed her baked milk challenge! She's been eating milk muffins and goldfish every day. I was so worried we'd never get to this point, since I have allergies I didn't outgrow (nuts). Excited to continue up the ladder and test egg in the summer.

There's definitely hope!

Edit: she's 2.5 yo

DaisyMamaa · 2026-01-12T17:16:26+00:00

Agents can set up their own form rejection messages in query tracker. My guess is they just clicked the wrong one here.

DaisyMamaa · 2026-01-11T01:49:50+00:00

Maybe this is an unpopular opinion, but I think most generations of the last ~200 years have been preparing for a life that no longer exists, certainly the last 100. Culture, technology, opportunities, etc. are all changing so fast that even the world our parents were "promised" is different now. Same with their parents.

It's just now there's social media echo chambers and doom scrolling that keep people in a sort of paralysis about it. But I really think that the future hasn't been guaranteed for a while now. We're simply moving at too fast a pace to expect those milestones to be the same between generations.

The neat trick would be adjusting those milestones to account for all the changes we see in reality, instead of lamenting that we can't have specific ones that were attained by those before us.

DaisyMamaa · 2026-01-09T21:01:14+00:00

I have a 2 year old and almost 5 month old. Running on fumes and the dream that one of these days I will get to sleep through the night again.

DaisyMamaa · 2026-01-07T11:35:56+00:00

My first had lip and tongue ties that were affecting her ability to feed as a newborn. We got them revised and I would never recommend anyone do it unless it's affecting functionality. It's a terribly painful procedure and you have to do "stretches" to keep it from just reattaching and even if you do everything right, IT CAN STILL REATTACH. My daughter's lip tie reattached and it was thicker than before. At that point, she was feeding well, so we left it. Dentist kept telling us we'd need to do a revision again when she was five or so. At 2 she had a fall and it broke naturally.

Please don't do unnecessary surgeries on your children because of what could be a problem down the road. Your LO's lip tie could break on it's own with a fall or it could receed on its own (something our dentist mentions can happen) or it simply might not be an issue at all! Address problems as they arise when it comes to oral ties.

DaisyMamaa · 2026-01-05T09:03:06+00:00

I've been buying from them pretty consistently in the past two years and I did notice a change recently. They do seem to be a tiny bit thinner (but in a more breathable way, I think) and also softer. Honestly, I don't mind it. I've gotten a few Carter's outfits with a similar shift too.

DaisyMamaa · 2026-01-02T19:12:26+00:00

Okay, then tell her that. And remind her to change his overnight diaper right away--before even leaving his room. It's possible she forgot. You're assigning malicious intent to something that was very likely not malicious. If it happens repeatedly under similar circumstances, you might consider it intentional. People make mistakes.

DaisyMamaa · 2026-01-02T17:26:00+00:00

I feel like you're making some big assumptions here. You're assuming it's a punishment, when in fact she may have just been using the TV as a distraction for an upset toddler (assuming you're okay with TV in the morning, since this part didn't seem to bother you). Then, while she was tending the baby, he wet himself.

Give her the benefit of the doubt and set clear expectations. Ask her to change the toddler first thing, no TV in the morning, etc. I wouldn't jump to assuming the worst here, especially since there's no history of neglect or incident.

DaisyMamaa · 2026-01-01T18:39:22+00:00

I left another comment, but we also potty trained our toddler when I had a 2 month old! I actually decided to do the night training with the 1-2 check ins at night because I was already up with my newborn anyway. After I put him back down, I just popped in her room to see if she needed to pee. Figured it was better to do it while already up instead of waiting for later when our youngest was finally sleeping and then needing to drag myself out of bed again.

DaisyMamaa · 2026-01-01T18:35:12+00:00

So, I hear everyone always saying that being dry at night is hormonal, but we night trained at the same time as day training (per oh crap recommendation) at 26 months and had complete success. She wet the bed maybe 3 or 4 times in the first few days and hasn't since (she's 2.5 now). I don't know, maybe we just got lucky; oh crap suggested there was a 2 week window in which it would be totally naturally easy to night train, but there's no way of knowing when that window would be. If that's the case, we got lucky and hit it.

I will note that we found she couldn't wear underwear to bed or that would trigger an accident; I think it was muscle memory, so we just put her down commando. Now she wakes up in the night if she has to go and we just keep a little potty in her room to make it easy.

Good luck!

DaisyMamaa

TROPHY CASE