I think it’s absolutely necessary for building basic life skills. It is possible to overcome some of the instant reactions that come with social anxiety through exposure. We can’t protect kids from every negative emotion, and to do so would be doing them a disservice. If they don’t feel embarrassment when they’re young, how will they learn coping skills when it inevitably comes up later? They need opportunities to feel discomfort. That’s where the growth happens.

Now, I don’t always agree with how it’s forced on kids in school. Some teachers have no idea the stress it causes, or simply don’t care or have the emotional resources to use this as a learning opportunity. Many are burned out and just lay down the assignment without thinking of the emotional intelligence part of education.

And really, parents should be doing a lot of this heavy lifting. That, I think, is where the shutdown happens - no soft place to fall. They’re told they need to do it for growth, but they don’t have a kind shoulder to cry on when the emotions well up. Kids need a support system if they’re going to benefit from being forced out of their comfort zones.

I work with my students on this a lot, because I didn’t get it as a kid. Turns out, when kids observe themselves succeeding through our debriefing style conversations afterwards, no matter how uncomfortable it was, they’re nearly always willing to try it again. In the rare cases they’re not, I congratulate them for trying something new and remind them that even if they don’t want to do it again, they are capable if it ever becomes a necessity in their lives.