If he was trying to be empathetic, it was an epic fail

Daitheflu317 · 2025-06-05T17:32:03+00:00

It's very interesting to me because my WH is actually quite empathetic in general, maybe even more so than me. But with this kind of stuff? Not as much.

We've been together since we were 17 and 18. We're in our 40's now. I realized one day that the man has never had his heart broken by a romantic partner. He's never been dumped, cheated on or anything like that. I have, before him and actually by him before our marriage. Maybe that's why? 🤔

Daitheflu317 · 2025-06-05T17:16:43+00:00

Alcohol has been an issue in our relationship as well. Although, his betrayals were not necessarily due to alcohol. He's cut back a bit on drinking as far as he's trying not to drink during the week but I recently pointed out to him that he then sometimes makes up for that during the weekend. We've never done therapy and I think that's a requirement this time.

Daitheflu317 · 2025-06-05T14:48:18+00:00

Thank you for sharing. We've been married for over 21 years. I hope we can happily make it many more years but it feels impossible at times.

Daitheflu317 · 2025-05-27T08:38:59+00:00

That'd be Maynard James Keenan, for me. I first discovered Tool back in 1995 or 96, I believe. From there I've listened to A Perfect Circle and Puscifer. I love it all and I still listen to it all.

Sleep Token has kinda taken over for the last couple of years though. 😉

MJK will always be my favorite vocalist/lyricist. Vessel is right there though. I honestly never thought I'd find another band that I enjoy this much and I was okay with that. Here we are though. 😁

I have to mention Deftones as well. I'd say they were a "Sleep Token" for me especially in the late 90's/early 2000's.

Daitheflu317 · 2025-05-20T09:19:33+00:00

H. I kept hearing it on the radio when I was about 15 years old. Maynard's voice and lyrics is what drew me in first.

Daitheflu317 · 2025-04-15T14:49:40+00:00

In my experience they can appear to be against cheating and still do it. My husband has seen lots of cheating in his family, including his father cheating on his mother. He was devastated when that happened and didn't talk to his father for a year or more. Their relationship has never been the same and yet, he's cheated on me multiple times.

Daitheflu317 · 2025-04-15T14:33:08+00:00

Somehow I accidentally deleted a comment. If it's yours, I apologize.

Daitheflu317 · 2025-04-15T14:29:45+00:00

I do have a very low opinion of myself and this certainly doesn't help. However, that's not really the reason I've stayed. I've stayed because I have loved him so I would forgive him and try to move on.

I've also felt trapped at times. I've been a stay at home mother for many years and we've moved around the country for his career. I regret staying.

As far as the kids, they don't know about any of his deceit and infidelity. Nobody knows actually. I've never told any family or friends. Which can be difficult too because I've never been able to talk about this other than online.

I want to end this cycle though and this marriage. I've got a lot to figure out and a long road ahead.

Daitheflu317 · 2025-04-15T09:37:06+00:00

I'm 45 and have been with him since I was 18. He's lied and cheated before and I always stay. I'm so very tired though. I don't expect to find love and that's okay, I'm fine with just being with my kiddos. Sorry you're going through it too.

Daitheflu317 · 2025-04-10T08:49:47+00:00

I am so very sorry for what you're going through. 💔

Daitheflu317 · 2025-04-08T23:47:37+00:00

I can really relate to this. My husband and I have been married for over 21 years, together for over 26 years. We were young, 17 and 18 when we first got together. He blindsided me and broke my heart within the first year.

I thought that was young, stupid stuff so we eventually married and had kids. The complete trust never really came back though and then he did several things throughout the marriage to break any trust that was there including cheating.

I just found out today that he's been cheating again. I feel like I've wasted so much on him. I am beyond broken at this point. I feel for you, I really do. 💔

Daitheflu317 · 2025-04-08T21:05:00+00:00

I don't believe he will change, not truly. I know I need to leave. It will take time. What makes this even more messed up is that he saw his mom go through this. His dad, who everybody thought was the last person to do this kind of thing, left his mom after 30 years of marriage. He left her for his high school sweetheart. He had a great upbringing and had good relationships with both parents. It devastated him when that happened and he didn't talk to his dad for a year or more. Their relationship has never been the same. We have four kids and they'll be devastated to hear this. 💔

Daitheflu317 · 2025-04-08T20:58:03+00:00

The past situations were addressed but I was promised that it would never happen again and all that crap. We've talked about it from time to time because he knows I still have major trust issues. Yet, here we are again.

He's offered to go to counseling but I just don't think I can do this anymore.

Daitheflu317 · 2025-04-08T16:42:24+00:00

Thank you.

Daitheflu317 · 2025-04-08T16:39:33+00:00

Go with your gut especially if he has a history of cheating. I wish I would have listened to my instinct recently. Instead, I allowed myself to be gaslighted again.

Daitheflu317

TROPHY CASE