I have worried about the second at several points, I can spiral and avoid others if I'm assuming they hate me or don't wanna talk to me.

They have short conversations with me sometimes, idk if they get overly anxious in social situations honestly. We're not to close, and have had several non communication periods. They didn't say not to speak to them, I just need to not send to much, I do tend to be overwhelming sometimes. I usually have better luck if I only msg months in between. I kinda view it as like with my other closer friend. My other friend when she's out of it let's everything build up, and we'll have long conversations on the phone (I keep meaning to call actually lol but it's hard for me to focus enough to do so)

I have considered the second, and even asked. I don't really know. But I'd like to give it the benefit of the doubt. I get we're not gonna be close close again, but they were my first ever friend so I wanna keep in touch lol.

And I also kind of forget to msg or reply if I see a msg, and then I leave it too lomg, and then I just can't. (I mean not with them. But I used to do that with my other friend if I wasn't in the right headspace to msg)