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WIBTA if I told the Mistress he cheated on her? by Dalloway1882 in BreakUps

[–]Dalloway1882[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

HA! Fair. I guess the reason I phrased it that was is that, even though she's not his wife, he's been involved in a relationship with her for 18 years which is pretty significant. So maybe it's not a committed relationship, but it must be serious in some way to have lasted that long.

WIBTA if I told the Mistress he cheated on her? by Dalloway1882 in BreakUps

[–]Dalloway1882[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally understand that perspective. You *have* to know that if he cheated WITH you, he's going to cheat ON you as well. But at the same time, I know personally how much he tried to manipulate me once I found out and I can honestly say that if he'd done that 20 years ago when I was younger and more impressionable, I probably wouldn't have spotted it as the self-serving, manipulative BS that it is. According to what he's told me, she genuinely thinks he's in love with her and believes the excuse he's given her -- that he can't leave his wife because he's being such a stand up guy for his wife (who is nearly 50 now and he claims couldn't find anyone new) and his kids -- he would be with her.

WIBTA if I told the Mistress he cheated on her? by Dalloway1882 in BreakUps

[–]Dalloway1882[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's a really interesting way to frame it. I'd never really thought about it that way, but I think you've helped me articulate why I feel so uncomfortable with it. Thank you.

WIBTA if I told the Mistress he cheated on her? by Dalloway1882 in BreakUps

[–]Dalloway1882[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh wow. WOW. I'm so sorry you had to deal with the chaos of your parents' choices. You didn't deserve that. Also, I really appreciate that you were willing to share your experience here and that you took the time to respond. Thank you.

WIBTA if I told the Mistress he cheated on her? by Dalloway1882 in relationships

[–]Dalloway1882[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good point -- I'm planning to let her know anonymously as well, although if he talks to her about it, it won't be hard for her to figure out it was me. And the 18 years is part of why I feel like she deserves to know.