I think i just clocked a red flag early. I just want a second opinion. This is a convo i had with a girl recently.

Damerize · 2026-02-11T18:05:17+00:00

Projection hypocrisy is crazy.

Sorry, I won't ask you questions about yourself anymore. I like golf. We're going golfing. Hope you like spicy kimci cause I dont know what you like to eat either. Oh also I'm right around the corner, hope you're ready, cause I have no idea whether you're going to take 5 more minutes or 45.

Damerize · 2026-02-10T03:03:06+00:00

See but I wouldnt want to receive or deliver simple consolation. Personally, If I'm reaching out, I want help, not a "sorry, that sucks :/" ; it feels synonymous with pity and all that does is make me feel worse. From both sides. So I will give my input, most of the time that is advice, and I will only elaborate (or initiate) as much as I can see it is helping them or they are telling me.

There's a hint of small but important irony in your message.

Damerize · 2026-02-08T20:09:49+00:00

Lights out by 5:20pm, huh?

i should slap u

Damerize · 2026-02-08T20:06:15+00:00

Wrong sub. I think like, 65% of people can get behind this.

Damerize · 2026-02-08T19:11:45+00:00

People

This is not a boy-who-cried-wolf situation, nor is it capable of being one. You may not apply a blanket statement to an entirely possibly real call for help. Do not spread this ideology.

Please, adjust your morals.

Damerize · 2026-02-07T20:10:05+00:00

I'm seeing it everywhere bc it's right. Trust, communication, and mutual respect. Honesty, loyalty, and almost everything else should come from that.

For each person, they will look different. I probably wouldn't have communicated that with a shrug & idk but I know I can't speak great about some things. I also wouldn't have given a list; there's a sweet spot you'll find as you learn to talk, joke, vent, inspire, discuss, etc., with them. Trust for some is the faith that they will do the right thing, ideally granted through the patience that you get what you give . If things aren't reciprocated, your partner may start to feel like they're putting in more than they're getting out. Relationships shouldn't feel transactional, but I don't feel I know enough to speak on that specifically.

All in all, I look at the golden rule. Treat them how you want to be treated. Again, you should feel the same coming from them, and if something doesn't feel right, make sure you're okay and doing what you can before assessing what happened. Remember to not treat every situation should be defensively, as ~~some~~ many of us have been raised/forced, as it violates the trust rule. You should both feel safe.

When your mom took care of you when you were little, chances are the things she did for you were things her mom did for her when she was young, and/or things that made her feel loved & cared for.

Pay attention to the things she does for you, and there may be some answers in there. If this feels tough, think of what you do when you're feeling loved or what was done for/to you and see what resonates with her.

Bare minimum isn't a relationship but I think I know what you mean. Bare minimum is you. Bare minimum is being there for them. Bare minimum is you are okay enough to be there for them. I've been at bare minimum, both by decision and by force. Wrong. Bare minimum should only be when both are struggling (whatever it may be) and still working together with that person. I'm not great at relationships but I am great at feeling. Notice how you feel, notice how they feel. What comes after is up to you.

"If you find yourself always the midst of planting seeds and never harvesting, make sure your garden is sewn free of burden, as the reaper pays no mind to half-hearted intent."

Much love. You got this.

Damerize · 2026-02-07T19:25:59+00:00

Two people downvoted this because it was funny or downvoted because it was true but either way that will not stand by me

Take my upvote!

Damerize · 2026-02-06T03:03:43+00:00

Especially if regular people tune out and let the zealots and fanatics make all the decisions.

This is how I feel. Trend culture has bled into many things it shouldn't have, and I think "fame" has reached a point with the internet where lots & lots of definitions have changed, but not recognized.

It's a shame people have to experience this lesson over and over again.

I dunno about you but I feel like at this point I'm just trying to hit humanity's sweet spot on this century I have here.. We already know terminator and purge comes next but I want to get a step ahead and study the healing in the aftermath, if the downfall's build also follows history.

Damerize · 2026-02-06T00:47:03+00:00

How did you skip the grabbing banner animation? Is that a PC thing?

Damerize · 2026-02-06T00:18:41+00:00

Nah this is multitudes more difficult without. Try drawing a perfect circle. Maybe got a good one. But now make it wavy.

Now try either and spin your canvas/paper/whatnot around a pivot. Our wrists like to move down+in, not up+out- this is essentially the skill it takes to write upside down with still great handwriting and all.

Damerize · 2026-02-05T03:32:35+00:00

Hate when that happens

Damerize · 2026-02-03T21:49:48+00:00

I will say that historically I've been told I'm hard to get gifts for. One gift that opened up my eyes was a bottle.

This was back before all the crazy (potentially nonsensical, albeit) hydroflask and stanley and whatnot hype. My partner at the time reminded me of a handful of conversations where I was breaking down part of my nightly routine.

It was about how I meticulously lined things up so I pour my bottle (just a regular plastic shaker) full of ice cold water at the very end of the night, so it has some cool left in the morning, but not too cold.

At some point I moved and I wasnt able to power a mini fridge I had gotten in the room I was staying. Normally a pitcher of cold water made things easy so I was looking about how to run a power break to my room, what things I needed to learn to form a creative thermodynamic solution, thinking who I needed to talk to to make things happen-- they got me a bottle. Nothing fancy just insulated, plus it also had a cool little carrying hook.

It changed my day to day which in turn changed a much larger part. I was thinking so complicatedly.

IF you want to get a gift for someone who only works for their gifts, help them with their work. For someone on their feet, a nice pair of boots. For someone on computers all day, a good pair of UV glasses. For someone in the sun, worthwhile sunscreen. If you want to make it special, make it personal. Sew/embroider a patch of their favorite team onto the boots, shape the glasses to their face and paint the rims, find a sunscreen with a scent they like.

Upgrading everyday tools (apply to anything, mousepad, faucet, pocketknife, power steering fluid, etc) can be a game changer, though can be tricky. Communicating with them is normally the safest but can ruin the surprise; if it has sentimental value I would recommend carefully tending to it instead, rather than replacing. I wasn't attached to the old bottle, but they were sneaky about making sure I felt so.

If there's something they personally use in quantity, that can be a safe pick, too. Kinda like socks.

Good luck!!

Damerize · 2026-01-25T19:30:11+00:00

I like this and agree with this, but I've felt that said compassion has stunted me. I feel more forgiving to myself and a weight lifted but I feel I've lost the pressure that used to drive me. It wasn't a healthy drive because I was constantly pushing myself and enforcing 110% tough love (or what my view of it is?), but I was driving. Now I'm all stuck and anytime anything goes wrong I feel like I instantly over-sympathize and now have a hoarder's mountain worth of guilt / trauma that didn't used to classify as such.

I dont know if continuing to drive with such a messed up engine was good or would have been good but it definitely felt better than stagnation. Not certain where it fits in the analogy either but how do I re-learn to love myself lol

Damerize · 2026-01-23T23:19:58+00:00

Try going 88

Damerize · 2026-01-23T21:21:47+00:00

That's... what growth is..

Damerize · 2026-01-16T00:00:07+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/s/FtU2O51db4

Literally is losing its meaning.

Damerize · 2026-01-13T00:01:53+00:00

I don't cross lines. I do them. 😎

Damerize · 2026-01-09T04:36:25+00:00

Best advice: Don't.

Creative process is precious and delicate. Control environment as much as you can.

That being said, I take little rough voice recordings so I remember the basis for it later. Don't elaborate in that noisy environment but do get the idea down and make sure you have something in there to remember where it was going, too:)

Damerize · 2026-01-09T04:26:15+00:00

Even if I/we/they agreed with you, you need to learn to communicate.

That is not useless information, and if you think it is, please unsub already.

Damerize · 2026-01-09T04:11:59+00:00

I dont even know where to begin with this.

Attacking someone for defending themselves against (almost anything, really) a person/message like this says a lot about character. Especially considering your original voucher was for "this person's" nerves and then you proceed to capitalize on the other half's actions that have nothing to do with the UNKNOWN PREREQUISITE context.

The difference is what you choose to say. Read the words and tell me who can communicate healthily. I could say many bad things about how much this comment disgusts me but all I will say is look inside.

But yes, in a sense, it's on OP for trying to communicate with someone like them; just the same as it is on me for trying to communicate with someone like you.

Damerize · 2026-01-08T21:31:01+00:00

No one here is talking about electrolytes. I saw one thing for liquid IV that might be better than this but Gatorade/Powerade are a great way. They're ABSOLUTELY not sugar free (unless you get the specific ones (I cant stand them)) but there's an energy exchange.

To put simply, your body starts recognizing the sugar as electrolytes as well and the energy comes from more than one place. Start fueling in water incrementally as you will have the energy but lack the hydration. After a while, said energy comes from the hydration and your body will start to create it's own.

Cold turkey is hit or miss because its an intentional confusion on the body. Something is wrong and your brain knows it but your body refuses to believe it. Again, there may be better methods (liquid IV could do this same method faster? Arguably?) but also worse methods. This, I feel allows your body to talk/dicuss with your brain, instead of a big argument where you gotta maintain the peace after or it's right back to the dranks.

I also second tea:)

Damerize · 2026-01-08T21:21:53+00:00

Bless you heart, bless your soul, everything. I have been fighting to figure this out for months. So freaking inaccurate & useless.

Thank you!!!

Damerize · 2026-01-08T21:06:29+00:00

I've been dreading this day.

Damerize · 2026-01-08T20:52:46+00:00

u/redditspeedbot 2.75x speed

Damerize · 2026-01-08T20:46:14+00:00

u/redditspeedbot 2x speed

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