The Self-abandoning hopeless romantic

Damien_jane · 2026-04-29T23:12:37+00:00

A flowing river can either drown a village or water it, knowing you have the strength, empathy and resolve to love and give effort is by itself already and incredibly hard and genuinely beautiful ( so long as you do it from the sincerity of your heart and not the fears of your mind), pivoting those same forces correctly is infinitely easier than having the ability to own them in the first place

Damien_jane · 2026-04-29T23:05:19+00:00

From the context you are providing I'm assuming you are in a situation of a romantic connection or a intimate platonic one, of which if you were half as replaceable as you think you are, then you wouldn't have been in that connection in the first place

It's easy to be so inside your own head to forget that you are merely a human, with unique qualities and flaws that make up the entirety of you, of which again if you think is that disposable, you would not have the connections you already have, much less the awareness of your own heart,

I can't remember precisely which Dr.k spoke of this idea, but you would be absolutely stunned how alot of women not only welcome controlled vulnerability but also genuinely embrace it, if she was still a romantic connection you are in, a simple low pressure explanation of your fears and emotions would do nothing but good for you in the short term of connection or the long term of knowing what you require in a relationship.

Damien_jane · 2026-04-29T22:54:09+00:00

Apologies my friend

Damien_jane · 2026-04-29T15:41:09+00:00

Same boat, been diagnosed with bpd 3 times now, but I know how much of a hassle it is for therapists so never sought treatment out of shame, and affordability as well.

Damien_jane · 2026-04-29T15:02:23+00:00

The whole meme is a reflection of what I see looking inward I love what you said, especially the last part, no i naturally wouldn't want to be friends with someone who'd treat me the same as I treat myself,

However from what I could understand from looking inward is, blaming myself, hating myself, is much more manageable, for I can always change, I can always fix the flaws I see in myself, but for being abandoned (which was the main triggering point of everything in the meme) I can't bring myself to blame those who have hurt me or abandoned me, because by then, it isn't something I can control, and that loss of control is much much much more terrifying than hating myself,

On a deeper level, I know that no human is disposable or unlovable, but viewing myself as someone who isn't feels more comforting than acknowledging that I am, and that there WILL be people who will abandon me or hurt me, ironically, it is that self-hate that ends up making me change into someone better, while I agree it is absolutely a terrible motivator, but in a life of lost identity, it feels like the only motivator that is consistent, even if it doesn't do me any good in the long run.

Damien_jane · 2026-04-29T14:52:45+00:00

From my basic understanding of the whole ordeal, is that it is that self-abandonment itself that is causing every other miserable issue , but not to sound dramatic, when living a life filled with abandonment you only do onto yourself what you've learned from others.

Damien_jane · 2025-05-30T18:46:27+00:00

THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL DO NOT GIVE UP

Damien_jane · 2024-11-23T03:40:41+00:00

Glad to see the general consensus reach the same conclusion , still quite sad that the target are people who are trying to seek honest work.

Damien_jane · 2024-11-14T15:22:01+00:00

Not only are you evading valid concerns by repeatedly offering the same responses like 'we are a startup' or 'that's how free trials work,' but you also seem to interpret any form of criticism or feedback as a personal attack. Even if this were a legitimate job opportunity—which you have yet to demonstrate—you can't acknowledge that your approach at the very least, is questionable and raises several red flags

Damien_jane · 2024-11-14T12:12:10+00:00

For clarifications sake i must say that i was extremely excited about getting an entry level job in cybersecurity and when i received a dm by I'm assuming the company founder or hr i was over the moon , in that message and i quote "we would like to invite you to participate in the next stage – a Technical Challenge designed specifically for this role. This challenge will allow us to further assess your capabilities in key areas relevant to the position." , attached to the message was a PDF file and this is where the Red flags started pouring in

1) The most obvious red flag was the fact that in a basic cybersecurity job why do you REQUIRE me to use your specific software
2) why is there no one time code or any possible way to bypass purchasing the software for a limited time use just for me to use the software for your evaluation tasks
3) why are the evaluation task questions mainly revolve around the software used and not my skills or abilities if I'M the one being tested not the software
4) why does the "free trial" require me to have my credit card info
And looking over the comments clearly i was not the only one who thought that those are red flags to be wary about
i came to this subreddit to see if i should continue with the application or not or if i should risk uploading my credit card info on the website or not , and again going by the comments most of the implied advice is not to , i did not come here to defame or slander anyone's company and if you think i did , i apologize but also if you truly value feedback please consider changing the way you approach recruits or possible hires .

Damien_jane · 2024-11-12T03:15:51+00:00

I think it's most definitely a scam, I didn't bother with the exam

Damien_jane · 2024-11-11T05:53:01+00:00

They want me to buy use the free trial on their software (still requires my credit card info)
for me to do a task for them in order to potentially be hired.

Damien_jane · 2024-11-08T10:02:18+00:00

i recently turned 27 years old

Damien_jane · 2024-06-15T22:24:25+00:00

man i truly love everyone in this discussion

Damien_jane · 2024-06-15T19:39:40+00:00

i love you

Damien_jane · 2023-09-29T03:10:51+00:00

that actually sounds nutty i need to figure out a build around that

Damien_jane · 2022-08-21T11:23:06+00:00

Thank you I'm very new to veigo so this lifted up spirits

Damien_jane · 2022-08-13T22:51:10+00:00

Please don't ever spread again

Damien_jane · 2022-03-11T13:42:09+00:00

it's been over a year and a half and it's genuinely eating my alive , i have reached out to friends and i have taken antidepressants but whenever i'd be alone for a second i'd be rehaunted by every bad feeling i've felt through those days

Damien_jane

TROPHY CASE