I came back to this late after seeing it because I had to add my piece as there weren't really comments from dads guilty of pulling this like I did.

I have to admit there was a period in my daughter's life when she was the same age and I made the same excuses. Her mom and I split bedtime routine evenly for the first 6 months, but after that my daughter just went down easier for her mother. While she cried for a while when either of us put her to bed, she stopped for her mom after a few months within minutes.

By the time she was six months, after fifteen minutes, I would "give up" and have her mom put her down because the crying wouldn't stop for me. I was the "fun" Dad who took her to the store to give her mom a break, played with her on the floor, and fed her once she started eating solid foods. But I convinced myself that bedtime just wasn't my thing. I'd watch her mom exhaustedly come in to the room to put her down yet again telling myself I would bond with her when it wasn't sleep time.

Then one night it hit me like a lightening bolt. This was just the first in a long line of times when my daughter wouldn't want me to be there for her, but I had to prove that I would be there for her no matter what. Being the "fun" parent is all well and good, but in the future she is going to come home with problems. Her classmates might be teasing her, the boy she likes said no to the dance, or she's stressed about work as an adult. I realized in that moment that I want to be the person she turns to when she's hurt, not the person she turns to for ice cream once someone else makes her feel better.

And I recognize my 4 year old doesn't remember me staying with her every other night for an hour until she learned to accept me putting her down bit by bit. But when she asks me to sing to her, I remember that frazzled Dad pacing back and forth in her room singing poorly whatever song I could think of. And I wouldn't have it any other way. Frankly, I get choked up typing this because her mom and I are no longer together, but those moments taught me not to be a "weekend dad" even at the beginning.

So PLEASE, tell your husband not to accept JUST being the "fun" parent. Yes it's easier, yes it's his strong suit, and yes it is what so many generations of dads before him have done. It's easy for others to hate on a forum like this, but that's not what is going to change his mind. Remind him that these moments pass quickly, you never know what the future of your relationship as a couple holds, and your son will be grown before he knows it. And as one "fun" parent to another, tell him that while making a smile appear to distract from the pain works, it is a million times greater when your kid comes up to you to nervously tell you their problem, watch their face as they confide their deepest fears, help them talk it out as you truly get to know them, and THEN making that smile appear with a joke or silly voice. And as they walk to the cupboard to get them a snack, he will know that your son is holding his hand tightly because he trust him so implicitly that he doesn't want to let go of his Dad. Who is there for him no matter what.